A list of obvious things.

[Captain Obvious]

http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2009/09/sexual_assault_3

Feminism, yeah!

Please distribute this list. Put it up in your place of work, in your university's library or wherever you think theymight be read:

1. Don't put drugs in people's drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON'T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don't forget: you can't have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

We should make a list of things you should already do and post THEM up everywhere.

SHORTER VERSION: DON'T EVER TALK TO A WOMAN. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HER. IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT A WOMAN WE WILL LOCK YOU UP FOREVER AND CUT YOU BALLS OFF. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY, PUNK?

[Darth Cupcake]

Wait.

Is everyone here of the opinion that La Terrorista actually believes this shit?

Nope.  99.98% sure that La Terrorista posted this to mock the silly internet "feminists" (as an aside, I'm sure at least at one point, the F-word was considered a fairly good site.  But I am not up on my internet feminist politics).

Cause, you know, by using the same old tired line of mocking the "feminists," La Terrorista shows how she (I assume) is just like SO MUCH COOLER than all of THEM and OH WOULD WE PLEASE GIVE HER BIG PATS ON THE BACK AND HUGS?

My first instinct on opening this thread was to roll my eyes and yawn. Heard it all before.



EDIT: In fact, I'm pretty certain that exact first post has already been posted here.

Oh sorry, I didn't realize making fun of stupid things was now forbidden.

And yes, no doubt the first post was definitely an attack against all feminists everywhere, of every inclination, and most certainly not mocking those self-declared feminists who wrote this idiocy in the first place.

Its a good thing we asked La Terrorista to clarify, instead of blindly assuming, isn't it?

That's not at all what I was saying.

I'm fairly certain that exact list has been posted here before, much of the exact same things were said, lots of panties got in a twist, etc.

It's also been beaten to death all over the entire damn internet. It's just... yawn, eye roll, okay, been there, done that. (Which is why I did not initially respond, as that's really all I had to contribute.)

Yes, based on further comments, it was making fun of those people that wrote that list. And I reserve the right to find it trite and not humorous (at least the mockery isn't humorous to me--not because it's mockery, but because it's just so boringly done).

[The Good Reverend Roger]

monkey rape porn

There go my nipples again.

[Cain]

That's not at all what I was saying.

I'm fairly certain that exact list has been posted here before, much of the exact same things were said, lots of panties got in a twist, etc.

It's also been beaten to death all over the entire damn internet. It's just... yawn, eye roll, okay, been there, done that. (Which is why I did not initially respond, as that's really all I had to contribute.)

Yes, based on further comments, it was making fun of those people that wrote that list. And I reserve the right to find it trite and not humorous (at least the mockery isn't humorous to me--not because it's mockery, but because it's just so boringly done).

Nope, I've never seen it posted before.  Not here, not anywhere.

But I suppose since YOU'VE seen it before and YOU don't find it funny, no-one else is ever allowed to, either.  Maybe you should just get "stop having fun guys!" tattoed on your head and be done with it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Are we really gonna have a huge fight over this?

Because if we are, I have to go put axle grease in my boots.

[Darth Cupcake]

That's not at all what I was saying.

I'm fairly certain that exact list has been posted here before, much of the exact same things were said, lots of panties got in a twist, etc.

It's also been beaten to death all over the entire damn internet. It's just... yawn, eye roll, okay, been there, done that. (Which is why I did not initially respond, as that's really all I had to contribute.)

Yes, based on further comments, it was making fun of those people that wrote that list. And I reserve the right to find it trite and not humorous (at least the mockery isn't humorous to me--not because it's mockery, but because it's just so boringly done).

Nope, I've never seen it posted before.  Not here, not anywhere.

But I suppose since YOU'VE seen it before and YOU don't find it funny, no-one else is ever allowed to, either.  Maybe you should just get "stop having fun guys!" tattoed on your head and be done with it.

I am not sure exactly what I did to piss you off, but I was pretty confident that people around here knew me better than to think that just because I don't find something funny that everyone else should fall in line with me.

We'd be a pretty fuckin' miserable lot if everyone had the same personality as I do.

[Cain]

I am not sure exactly what I did to piss you off

Yes, it must be becaused you did something else to piss me off, and I'm taking this opportunity to attack you.  God forbid Cain actually attack someone exactly based on the actual argument in question.  No, it must be part of some Machiavellian plot or long forgotten slight.  Anything but what is actually happening at the moment.

Fuck this noise, I'm sick of people continually doubting my motives on here.  Later.

[Darth Cupcake]

I am not sure exactly what I did to piss you off

Yes, it must be becaused you did something else to piss me off, and I'm taking this opportunity to attack you.  God forbid Cain actually attack someone exactly based on the actual argument in question. 

No, I meant that I'm not sure why my response pissed you off.

I have one stance on it. You have another. Historically, we have not always agreed on things. In fact, historically, this board is full of jackasses that disagree with each other, and we all do it in pretty abrasive ways.

So, in light of the fact that I don't THINK I put any words in your mouth with my initial post, and I certainly wasn't trying to speak for anyone other than myself, I am confused about why my initial post pissed you off, other than that you don't agree with my stance. But, as I said, we have historically not always had the same stance, so that didn't strike me as enough to have pissed you off. So I assumed there was something in my post that pissed you off that I haven't picked up on, therefore, I am not sure what I did.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

*goes to get some axle grease*

[Richter]

 

[La Terrorista]

I'm just going to let people assume whatever they want about me. You're all probably right anyway. What do I know?

Also, I considered putting this in OMF, but decided this was a better choice and could be moved if whoever decides these things decided to do that thing.

[Kai]

I'm just going to let people assume whatever they want about me. You're all probably right anyway. What do I know?

Bad move. You gotta take whatever ideas you got by the horns and hold on tight. Plus, you probably know a bunch of stuff.

And we're right about many things, and just as often wrong. Except Roger, hes a prophet.

[Triple Zero]

THIS THREAD IS NOW (AGAIN) ABOUT LISTS OF OBVIOUS THINGS

1) Don't put social experiments in people's forums to control their behaviour.

2) If you see someone post a new thread on their own, leave it alone!

3) If you're going to help someone to just fucking google it, don't tell them the "secret hidden web with all the cool stuff" is at http://www.google.on.nimp.org

4) NEVER click on a link uninvited.

5) If you are an elephant and someone else gets near you, DONT ASSAULT THEM!

6) Remember, people go to forums to hear people agree with them. Do not attempt to argue with someone who posts on a forum.

7) USE THE 50 POST SUGGESTION! If you are unable to stop yourself from trolling people, wait 50 posts and ask a friend to join in on the fun.

Always be honest with people. Don't pretend to be a pagan hippie in order to gain the trust of someone you want to troll. Consider telling them you simply think they are hilarious. If you do not communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign you take them seriously.

9) Don't forget! You can't troll a forum unless there's other people posting!

10) Carry a whistle! For fuck's sake, everybody loves whistles.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Being in the mood right now, I sorta want to punch the OP in the face for assuming everyone has this primal urge to assault who ever happens to be closest, like some sort of sociopathic tourettes. "Assault someone on accident"? "If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people"? Are we REALLY stuck in a pre-industrial idiocy where people (but I know you meant men, Terrorista) can't be faulted for just running up and raping and assaulting people in broad daylight because we're just MADE like that, like "Oh shit man, I'm getting the rape impulse on that girl overthere, quick BLOW THE WISTLE!" This sort of stupidity passes on stereotypes and actually ENABLES people to act like that, because "like man I just can't help assaulting people, it just happens and before you know it I'm raping some girl on the sidewalk" is the most stupid fucking excuse ever.

Also, this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

Is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard. "Lets sit around and talk about how I want to assault and rape you!" Also: "You aren't planning on raping me so that makes you a caring friend!" 

Lets reword this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to have sex with. Consider telling them about your sexual inclinations. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you are /not/ interested in having sex with them.

Better. In fact, I think this whole thing is a troll.

It was a quote from the site she linked to, actually, and she posted it to make fun of it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Being in the mood right now, I sorta want to punch the OP in the face for assuming everyone has this primal urge to assault who ever happens to be closest, like some sort of sociopathic tourettes.

I'm assuming you mean the sight it was posted on, I think La Terrorista was just pointing out how stupid it is.

That said, a hot lady walked into the elevator today, and I was just about to assault her when I remembered this post, and realised that I probably shouldn't assault strangers in elevators.