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Fuck you, Little Johnny.

Started by Dimocritus, October 21, 2009, 08:35:31 PM

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Dimocritus

October 21, 2009, 08:35:31 PM
School buses move slow enough as it is.

Now, for each stop there is a brief display of flashing lights and haggard bus monitors going through the choreographed actions of pretending to see if any of these little rug-rats took a mad dash under the tires. Finally, the bus slowly picks up speed once again, only to stop LESS THAN A BLOCK AWAY! God forbid little Johnny has to WALK forty feet to get home.

Now, I'm not all that old, but even I remember back when I was in school, if little Johnny threw himself under the bus, accidentally or not, we'd all have a little chuckle about it, his parents would tell him to walk it off, and in the end little Johnny learned a valuable life lesson. We used to walk to school, now little Johnny isn't even allowed to walk to the friggin' bus-stop, which, I remind you, is less than forty fucking feet from his front door.

Nowadays, parents are so concerned about making little Johnny as comfortable as possible, but really, it's the hardships and ordeals, the PAIN, that helps us learn the important lessons of life and survival. Sure, the text books at school may be helpful at times for things like math, geography, or what have you, but in the end mother nature simply does not give a fuck about how comfortable little Johnny is, and she's going to do everything she can to test his endurance. What's little Johnny gonna' do come time for his final exam? Lay down. That's what. We may as well be throwing him under the bus ourselves.

It's like we are breeding livestock for alien invaders. "C'mon on by! We got 'em nice and fat for you!"

Every little-league game ends in a tie. What does that teach little Johnny about sportsmanship, good or bad? It doesn't. Can it even be called "fair play" if you're not even playing the game properly?

The Cookie Monster is now the Veggie Monster. THE FUCKING VEGGIE MONSTER FORCHRISTSAKES!!! Now, not only are we teaching them to be weak and lazy, but DULL and BORING to boot!

I for one, am sickened by this. Whoever is responsible for this bull-crap better cut the fucking shit. Now. Or I'll be forced to send them a real nasty letter.

Or Kill 'em.
 
Episkopos of GABCab ~ "caecus plumbum caecus"

LMNO

#1
October 21, 2009, 08:43:57 PM
Sorry, kid. Don't blame the beurocracy.  They're just covering their ass.

If one single kid hurts themselves, or get abducted because they had to walk one block more than strictly necessary, then the school district gets fucked harder than Julie Strain left alone at a comicon.

Dimocritus

#2
October 21, 2009, 09:43:13 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 21, 2009, 08:43:57 PM
Sorry, kid. Don't blame the beurocracy.  They're just covering their ass.

I agree, the bureaucracy needs to cover their ass. But why is that? Isn't it because parents today are irresponsible, and instead of actually teaching and raising their kids, they're continuously passing the buck onto local schools and governments (not to mention television)? If Sally Mae and Little Johnny Sr. were more active as parents, or used a more effective approach, there would be less Johnnys under fewer buses, and the beurocracy would have a lot less of a reason to have to cover their ass. I suppose what I'm trying to say here, in short, is that I don't blame the beurocracy, I blame the parents.

Quote from: LMNO on October 21, 2009, 08:43:57 PM
gets fucked harder than Julie Strain left alone at a comicon.

And this made me  :horrormirth:
Episkopos of GABCab ~ "caecus plumbum caecus"

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
October 21, 2009, 09:45:24 PM
I'm kind of glad this sort of thing happens.  My children will be able to hunt and eat these fat little bastards when everything goes down the pooper.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Corvidia

#4
October 21, 2009, 10:10:42 PM
:lulz:
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
October 21, 2009, 10:14:19 PM
Do you have a car, Dimo? Do you drive to the grocery store?

How about a gym membership?

Face it, you ARE Little Johnny.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
October 21, 2009, 10:17:17 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 21, 2009, 10:14:19 PM
Do you have a car, Dimo? Do you drive to the grocery store?

How about a gym membership?

Face it, you ARE Little Johnny.

Does parking a jeep in a big fucking hole on a regular basis count as being Little Johnny?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
October 21, 2009, 10:18:08 PM
And, Dimo, never you mind about Little Johnny.  He's even learning to talk again, our way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
October 21, 2009, 10:27:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2009, 10:17:17 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 21, 2009, 10:14:19 PM
Do you have a car, Dimo? Do you drive to the grocery store?

How about a gym membership?

Face it, you ARE Little Johnny.

Does parking a jeep in a big fucking hole on a regular basis count as being Little Johnny?

If Little Johnny is AWESOME, then yes.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Johnny

#9
October 22, 2009, 01:15:42 AM

NO, FUCK YOU LITTLE DIMO.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
October 22, 2009, 03:41:10 AM
Quote from: JohNyx on October 22, 2009, 01:15:42 AM

NO, FUCK YOU LITTLE DIMO.

WINNER.  THREAD IS FUCKING OVER.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#11
October 22, 2009, 04:13:48 AM
 :lulz:

The internet is providing me with much joy tonight.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Dysfunctional Cunt

#12
October 22, 2009, 04:09:38 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2009, 09:45:24 PM
I'm kind of glad this sort of thing happens.  My children will be able to hunt and eat these fat little bastards when everything goes down the pooper.



THIS!

Except mine will probably capture slow ones and fatten them up further for slow roasting!

Jenne

#13
October 22, 2009, 05:35:07 PM
Mine will either solve all the world's immediate problems and then be justly rewarded, invent something new they can sell for profit!, or charm the pants off of all and sundry nearby to make a living off of the damned dirty rubes.

Ah, the talents we hone as childrings.

Cramulus

#14
October 22, 2009, 06:16:47 PM
Quote from: Dimocrates KSC on October 21, 2009, 08:35:31 PM
School buses move slow enough as it is.

Now, for each stop there is a brief display of flashing lights and haggard bus monitors going through the choreographed actions of pretending to see if any of these little rug-rats took a mad dash under the tires. Finally, the bus slowly picks up speed once again, only to stop LESS THAN A BLOCK AWAY! God forbid little Johnny has to WALK forty feet to get home.

are you certain that this is the problem, and not the impatient-driver-with-road-rage epidemic?
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