Hey, Cain, can you go to the hardware store, please?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hey, Cain, my Uncle is dying, and he's the last WWII vet in our family.  He has told me many stories about when the world went mad and black fascism was allowed to run loose for a while, stomping around in their hobnail boots.

He said it took 55 million nails to hammer Hitler and Tojo into thier coffins. 

But I'm looking around, Cain, and the bad old days seem to be seeping back, and pooling up around our ankles...some people think we can fix it with talk, or "moving forward" or some such nonsense. 

But my Uncle Bill, he laughs at that, and says ya gotta have a hammer and a LOT of nails, and you have to kill the beast dead and hammer those nails down tight, because even after you kill the fucker, it's gonna keep trying to batter its way out of it's casket.

But I think we have a bunch of defective nails.  They're all too fat and squishy, and will just splatter like eggs when we try to hammer them in.

So do you think you can pop down to the shops and pick up a few boxes?  We're gonna need them sooner than most people anticipate, I think.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I regret not reading this earlier.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I regret not reading this earlier.

I just wrote it an hour ago.   

[Elder Iptuous]

Is good.
I agree with Squid, you should have wrote it sooner...

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I regret not reading this earlier.

I just wrote it an hour ago.   

and when I saw it I didn't read it.
then I did and said "why didn't i read this sooner?"

[Richter]

Leave the fire at the store, we're going to need iron, cold iron for this.

[Jenne]

I like your uncle, Rog, though I think I might be frightened and awed by his presence if I ever met him.  Dudes who've been through what he has just KNOW stuff.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I like your uncle, Rog, though I think I might be frightened and awed by his presence if I ever met him.  Dudes who've been through what he has just KNOW stuff.

He learned it in a hard school.  He's old and feeble now, though.  Except for his eyes.

[Jenne]

I like your uncle, Rog, though I think I might be frightened and awed by his presence if I ever met him.  Dudes who've been through what he has just KNOW stuff.

He learned it in a hard school.  He's old and feeble now, though.  Except for his eyes.

Understandable. 

[Cain]

Hey Roger,

That's too bad, about your Uncle.  My grandfather was the only WWII vet in our family...he somehow survived the Vichy in Gabon, only to fall victim to smoking.  Well, falling off the roof probably didn't help his health either.

So, I went down to the store like you asked, but they said they were out.  Apparently lots of nails had been bought up by Italians or something, and they didn't think we needed them as much here.  But I dunno, I've been watching the TV a lot lately, and the Italian builders I've seen, well they seem to spend more time fighting about the design and throwing nails at each other than getting down to work.

But you know, my grandfather had a saying.  He said "a hole's nothing at all, but you can still break your neck in it".  Maybe the problem isn't that we have a bunch of broken nails, but that we're not using them right.

What I'm thinking is this: if the nails aren't going to stop the casket from being opened again, why not use some of those nails, and turn them upside down?  It's not a perfect solution, and wont hold forever, but it might just do for now.  You ever tried to walk on broken nails?  It hurts, and your feet end up all bloody and useless.

I say we take some of those broken nails and scatter them around the place, in case the beast does ever break out.  Slow that fucker down, and maybe by the time he ever gets where he wants to go, the store will have ordered more nails in.

Sometimes I feel bad for thinking like this, but I think maybe people need to see the beast, again.  I know that's dangerous thinking, because once its out, you have to put it back down again with everything you have.

But you know how it is, man.  I watch the TV every day, and they're always saying the beast is out already, and he's doing this, or he's doing that, or he's secretly met with so-and-so.  It's all so much bullshit.  It'd almost do them good to come face to face with the beast, soil their panties a little.  It'd need to happen soon though, because you know some of these people on TV, I think they're intent on making the beast invisible.  If you make everything look like it's in deep with the beast, once the real beast get's free, it can move around safe.  No-one can see it, because it's everywhere.

So if we give it bleeding feet, at least we have a way to track it, and know it when we see it.  It can't hide from us, like some of them would like.

But then, some people do say I'm paranoid where the beast is concerned.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You might be right.  At least it would get the silly fuckers to stop calling everything they don't like "fascism".  That alone would be worth it.

Yeah, I'm totally buying into this.  Let the stupid shits wheeze their way into real trouble.  Fuck 'em.  The Greatest Generation fixed that shit 3 generations ago, and all you hear now is skinny fucking hipsters badmouthing them.  Let them have a taste of real totalitarianism, and see if they can get back out of it.  I don't think they will, and I don't particularly care. 

It's what happens when you let monkeys run a planet. 

[P3nT4gR4m]

Careful Roger you're on the slippery slope to thinking like me

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Careful Roger you're on the slippery slope to thinking like me

Been doing it for years, Pent.  I didn't like this "kinder, gentler Roger", anyfuckingway.

[P3nT4gR4m]

F'kin RAH!!