Roger, these pills are so damn good.

[Kai]

Dear Roger,

The pills have finally started to kick in. I wake up in the morning and feel refreshed, go in to the university and work all day happily. I used to keep the windows shut and blinded, but these days I open them as often as possible, letting the light stream in. I've started taking walks in the afternoon sun and spending more time outside in general. Misery loves more misery, but happy people don't like being cooped up inside.

The world hasn't changed any. We're still in a costly economic recession, more than half the country denies the validity of evolution, 2 (maybe soon three) foreign wars, bailouts to the wealthy, the poor becoming even poorer, and it seems we're headed towards a thousand year cultural/social dark age. I'm still in the south, I still observe bigoted bullshit every day, I'm still in a town where the buildings are like rotting mausoleums. Homecoming is tomorrow, and with halloween, this town will be /packed/ with hundreds of thousands of screaming yahoos.

However...it doesn't bother me as much now. Even though I can contemplate the horrors listed above, even though I walk with a colleague past the big muddy field where all the frat houses are making a mess building their floats (which will take 2 weeks for the school to clean up after this weekend, and it won't look the same till next spring). She says to me, "this is whats wrong with America...no no, its just a symptom..." I ask what its a symptom of, and we can't quite put our fingers on this complex thing which is driving the insanity. Who is driving insanity? Certainly not HIMEOBS. But I'm well, I'm not so dead inside, because there was something wrong with me and suddenly the things I knew I enjoyed are enjoyable again. Remember caddisflies? Remember how excited I was? I have that same excitement again, except instead of the short lived burst ending in anxiety it's this steady flame of passion and pleasure, calm and confident. The past three days have been the most wonderful since I arrived in this decrepit town, because now I can finally ignore the decrepitude, or at least shove it out of the way while I consider more exhilarating things. There are millions of screaming yahoos, but they don't have to bring me down. I can fight now, I can stand my ground, I can LAUGH as I kick them in the nads.

Yes, the pills have made me "Happy^TM", and I don't think I want to go back.

Sincerely,

Kai

[Template]

Yes, the kicking and the burning assure that things are still real.

You don't have to do the wild, creative shit out of desperation anymore.  Do it for Science!

[Cainad (dec.)]

Very yes. Not feeling like shit is a great thing.

[Triple Zero]

Kai that's great to hear! (also pretty quick, what has it been? 2-3 weeks now?)

remember, the point of the pills is not to forget your problems, but to not let those problems get you down, just enough so you can stand up straight and face them, kick them in the nads, etc.

if, however, after some time, the "it doesn't bother me as much" makes you feel too flat, makes you feel like stuff ought to bother you more than it does (from a rational point of view, the pills should never ever touch your rationality--the way alcohol or weed does), anyway, give it some time but know that you can always turn down the dosage a littlebit (discuss with your physician first, of course).

in the end, often the pills are temporary, you need them to create some space in your head to deal with some shit, crawl back on top of the rock, make sure the right monkey is the alpha monkey and then, just slowly (no need to hurry, really) turn down the dosage, until you don't even notice anymore you're driving without training wheels

myself, I turned down my dosage after half a year and will some day completely build down, but not yet. I got some big rocks to climb, first.

[Kai]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

[Dysnomia]

glad you're feeling better. 

[Kai]

Another thing:

I remember how tired playing the guitar used to make me, how tight I used to get. My whole left side would ache from the shoulder down just from the exertion of holding that arm up to the neck. I remember how clumsy my fingers felt, how cold and stiff, how I would hate to sit down with the instrument even though I loved it because my muscles just wouldn't contract fast enough, just couldn't keep up with the notes on the page. And my mind certainly couldn't search ahead, always without that focus, always plodding. Like the whole thing was stuck in molasses.

Suddenly it flows. What a difference.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

[Kai]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

[Kai]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

1) Randomness

2) The environment is constantly changing

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

1) Randomness

2) The environment is constantly changing

Okay, then three:

Natural selection doesn't imply the best possible solution, just one that can pass its genes along.

[Kai]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

1) Randomness

2) The environment is constantly changing

Okay, then three:

Natural selection doesn't imply the best possible solution, just one that can pass its genes along.

Sufficiency without "perfection", yes. Whatever the fuck perfection might be. Not that I would know.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

1) Randomness

2) The environment is constantly changing

Okay, then three:

Natural selection doesn't imply the best possible solution, just one that can pass its genes along.

Sufficiency without "perfection", yes. Whatever the fuck perfection might be. Not that I would know.

I don't think any of us do.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think that's going to happen zero. This is not anything new. This is something I've been dealing with for years. For a long time I've just assumed it was psychogenic, and that didn't help any. I think I need to realize there is something chemically deficient in my head, at least for living successfully in this world the way it is right now.

One thing to consider is that the need for pills is nothing new.  We just have them, now.

TGRR,
Thinks things might have been different if Tojo had some damn Lexapro.

Maybe.

We've totally jumped ship off the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors and closest relative species. Our biology is not adapted to this landscape, and even if it was, it's not perfect by any means.

Biology is never perfected.  I'm pretty certain it CAN'T be, for two really good reasons.

1) Randomness

2) The environment is constantly changing

Okay, then three:

Natural selection doesn't imply the best possible solution, just one that can pass its genes along.

Sufficiency without "perfection", yes. Whatever the fuck perfection might be. Not that I would know.

I don't think any of us do.

I do.  Albert Einstein with Kathy Ireland's tits.