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THE ULTIMATE DISCORDIAN TROLL THREAD

Started by President Television, November 03, 2009, 03:05:58 AM

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Cramulus

#45
November 03, 2009, 03:12:43 PM
Discordian troll thread?

okay okay okay okay okay lemme tell you how to troll this forum proper:

Come in and be a little big smug. Use a few philosophical terms. show a little bit of ontological territorialism, then get defensive when people call you on it.

When people sense that you'll flip out if provoked, they won't be able to stop themselves from disagreeing with you. Eventually you'll have four replies to each of your posts.

Eventually they'll start telling you to fuck off and leave. Which, of course, you won't do because they're doing exactly what you wanted them to do - wasting their time replying to you. They will, of course, continue telling you to GTFO and kill yourself. You won't. People will eagerly anticipate your next posts, pressing Refresh until you finally reply.

You may want to step back for a second and consider what's really going on here. Are you ruining the board by sucking up all the "energy"? Or are you feeding the sharks the blood they crave? The key is persistence. At first, they will enjoy telling you to die. Over time, they will start to mean it.

This is really a test of patience for both parties. Because the responses you'll be getting will be kind of boring. You will feel like you have no reason to go on. But you must perservere! And we, on this board, must continue to drain lulz from you by provoking you into emotional whirlwinds. If you don't do that every so often, we will lose interest. So don't play too guarded, you actually can't troll us effectively without taking a few wounds. It takes blood in the water to make sharks frenzy.

Some classic, time tested opening gambits.
-talk about anarchy
-try to explain Discordia as if someone misunderstands it
-accuse people of being dogmatic
-reply to roger when he's good and pissed

there are tons of others, I'm sure somebody can fill in the blanks

Endgame: at some point, somebody will say "PLEDGE", which means they are suggesting everybody takes a pledge to not reply to you anymore. This is actually the most effective tool we have against trolls. We seldom sucessfully use it because it's too fun to provoke someone, and it only takes one person ignoring the pledge to screw it up for everybody else. The best way to avoid the pledge is to show a little "promise" - meaning, admit that you're wrong once ever three arguments or so. Occasionally show that you can be a cooperative poster. If you're both helpful and destructive, people won't be able to make up their minds about you.


It would be easy for PD not to fall for these traps. But they won't. We have a weird sort of love affair with destructive disorder. This is, after all, the Worst Forum on the Internet.

Captain Utopia

#46
November 03, 2009, 03:19:13 PM
Your revolution paradigm relies on a one-to-many communication environment, which requires a leadership structure, and the subsequent lack of accountability which results.

Distributed decision making is a new thing, and impossible without many-to-many communication models. We'll try our algorithms and software first on housing co-ops, then small corporations. After a while we'll shadow local government. Scaling up when possible, rebuilding when not. In this case "leaders" would simply be people whom you respect, and who might influence your own decision making - that ingrained aspect of human nature I don't think it would be even desirable to resist.

P3nT4gR4m

#47
November 03, 2009, 03:21:05 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 03, 2009, 03:12:43 PM
Discordian troll thread?

okay okay okay okay okay lemme tell you how to troll this forum proper:

Come in and be a little big smug. Use a few philosophical terms. show a little bit of ontological territorialism, then get defensive when people call you on it.

When people sense that you'll flip out if provoked, they won't be able to stop themselves from disagreeing with you. Eventually you'll have four replies to each of your posts.

Eventually they'll start telling you to fuck off and leave. Which, of course, you won't do because they're doing exactly what you wanted them to do - wasting their time replying to you. They will, of course, continue telling you to GTFO and kill yourself. You won't. People will eagerly anticipate your next posts, pressing Refresh until you finally reply.

You may want to step back for a second and consider what's really going on here. Are you ruining the board by sucking up all the "energy"? Or are you feeding the sharks the blood they crave? The key is persistence. At first, they will enjoy telling you to die. Over time, they will start to mean it.

This is really a test of patience for both parties. Because the responses you'll be getting will be kind of boring. You will feel like you have no reason to go on. But you must perservere! And we, on this board, must continue to drain lulz from you by provoking you into emotional whirlwinds. If you don't do that every so often, we will lose interest. So don't play too guarded, you actually can't troll us effectively without taking a few wounds. It takes blood in the water to make sharks frenzy.

Some classic, time tested opening gambits.
-talk about anarchy
-try to explain Discordia as if someone misunderstands it
-accuse people of being dogmatic
-reply to roger when he's good and pissed

there are tons of others, I'm sure somebody can fill in the blanks

Endgame: at some point, somebody will say "PLEDGE", which means they are suggesting everybody takes a pledge to not reply to you anymore. This is actually the most effective tool we have against trolls. We seldom sucessfully use it because it's too fun to provoke someone, and it only takes one person ignoring the pledge to screw it up for everybody else. The best way to avoid the pledge is to show a little "promise" - meaning, admit that you're wrong once ever three arguments or so. Occasionally show that you can be a cooperative poster. If you're both helpful and destructive, people won't be able to make up their minds about you.


It would be easy for PD not to fall for these traps. But they won't. We have a weird sort of love affair with destructive disorder. This is, after all, the Worst Forum on the Internet.

I have to add the "what makes you think I'm a male/female" gambit.

I actually have no idea why the fuck so many of them do this but it seems ever so popular. Make sure from post 1 you do not mention if you are male or female then, when someone calls you him or her immediately post back with "what makes you assume I'm male/female". Most posters will usually start referring to you as the other sex at this point. Wait a while then own up to the fact that you were a him/her in all along and you never actually said you weren't.

Yes it's lame but without it you aren't a proper PD troll.


I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

President Television

#48
November 03, 2009, 03:29:27 PM
Of course, no one is any the wiser to the fact that this thread is, in actuality, a social experiment.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

The Good Reverend Roger

#49
November 03, 2009, 03:30:45 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 03, 2009, 02:31:27 PM
I wonder if there's a critical mass, measurable in lawbook pagecount, which marks the end of that "while"

Ask Cicero.  He howled about it until Marc Anthony had him killed.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#50
November 03, 2009, 03:31:38 PM
Quote from: A giant cock mongler on November 03, 2009, 03:29:27 PM
Of course, no one is any the wiser to the fact that this thread is, in actuality, a social experiment.

And did we do exactly what you expected?

TGRR,
Is beginning to suspect that you may not be as new as you seem.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#51
November 03, 2009, 03:32:47 PM
I'm pretty sure he is as lame as he seems, tho.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#52
November 03, 2009, 03:33:36 PM
Quote from: FP on November 03, 2009, 02:34:22 PM
I hold out hope that while a civilisation may run on opinion, you can aim to increase how much of that opinion is influenced by fact-based data.

Creation science, thinking with your gut, etc, etc.

Quote from: FP on November 03, 2009, 02:34:22 PM
The ability to share/correlate/advertise facts on the internet hasn't quite reached its full potential, but I think it will.

Twitter.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#53
November 03, 2009, 03:34:19 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 03, 2009, 03:32:47 PM
I'm pretty sure he is as lame as he seems, tho.

Every time I think he has potential, he posts some lame shit.

I'm about 30 seconds from calling "Wade".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#54
November 03, 2009, 03:34:52 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 03, 2009, 02:37:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2009, 02:21:21 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 03, 2009, 02:18:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2009, 02:13:44 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 03, 2009, 01:57:07 PM
Order is an illusion.

Law is an attempt made by people who don't understand this, to impose and maintain this fantasy state by threatening people into conforming to a set of arbitrary rules.

Um, so wanton murder, etc, is a good thing?
The government thinks so.

What government?

All the ones that think that sending out young men to kill and be killed is a good idea.

Oh, you mean Standard Oil and Halliburton.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

President Television

#55
November 03, 2009, 03:36:08 PM
I'm really going to have to work hard to redeem myself now, aren't I?

-SHS,
digging myself to china
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

The Good Reverend Roger

#56
November 03, 2009, 03:36:52 PM
Quote from: A giant cock mongler on November 03, 2009, 03:36:08 PM
I'm really going to have to work hard to redeem myself now, aren't I?

-SHS,
digging myself to china

I'm starting to think that isn't your intention.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#57
November 03, 2009, 03:37:40 PM
China or Redemption?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#58
November 03, 2009, 03:38:21 PM
He knows all the hot buttons.  Wolf, Social Experiment, etc.

Not 100% sure he's an alt, but a little checking will settle that.  As soon as I get to my laptop.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

President Television

#59
November 03, 2009, 03:38:52 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2009, 03:36:52 PM
Quote from: A giant cock mongler on November 03, 2009, 03:36:08 PM
I'm really going to have to work hard to redeem myself now, aren't I?

-SHS,
digging myself to china

I'm starting to think that isn't your intention.

And I'm starting to think maybe it should be. All self-deprecating humour aside, the people here seem worth associating with.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.
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