What's the frequency, LMNO?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A famous broadcaster was once asked that by a tinfoil hat type, and was savagely beaten when he couldn't answer.  Keep that in mind as you read the following question, or face the awful prospect of a midnight visit from the Antignano Brothers.  Hell, they'd probably do it for free, after what you did to their cousin Lou last New Years.  You sick bastard.  Anyway...

How long, LMNO, how long?  For how much longer do I have to put up with these fucking out of work Libertarians?  I swear to fucking God, they're the worst.  When they aren't hogging up all the good tables at The Safehouse, trying desperately to make sure everyone sees their copy of The Fountainhead (and wondering why it isn't attracting the women), they're lurking about the political section of the used bookstore, trying to look menacing, and bitching about how the government is keeping them poor.

It's gotten so bad that I keep a rolled-up towel permanently soaked down, to bludgeon them when they approach me.  That would croak a republican, but these bastards are surprisingly tough for a collection of Birkenstock-wearing vegetarians (we have weird Libertarians, here).

So what I'm thinking, LMNO, and here's where I need your advice, is that I'm going to infiltrate their local party headquarters.  You know, find the nest, and purge it with rage and poop.  But my problem is, I cannot bring myself to carry one of those fucking Ayn Rand "novels", and at my age I'd look dumb in an anarchy t-shirt (I do not wish to look like The Clash, it pains me even to think of it), so I may have trouble fitting in.  Any alternate ideas for a disguise?  I mean, I know how to ACT, God knows everyone understands that *I* would be on top in a concrete jungle, right?  But visual cues are also important, and I need to do this right or I'll have to lay about like a fiend, just to escape their scrawny, pasty clutches.

It's not that I'm worried about getting out alive, it's more that the mission would fail, and I would never find their spawning ground.

Ideas? 

[LMNO]

The only possibility I can think of is to go the other way and adopt "the uniform".  Navy suit, white shirt, red power tie.  If you combine that with some P.J. O'Rourke book under your arm (suggestion: On The Wealth of Nations), you might be able to get close enough to sniff out the nest.  You'll be able to tell from the stench of clove cigarettes and burnt coffee.

As an added bonus, you can use the suit jacket to hide at least four tasers, so when the moment comes, you can flip the coat open like some avenging angel, and give those fuckers 50,000 volts IN THE NADS.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The only possibility I can think of is to go the other way and adopt "the uniform".  Navy suit, white shirt, red power tie.  If you combine that with some P.J. O'Rourke book under your arm (suggestion: On The Wealth of Nations), you might be able to get close enough to sniff out the nest.  You'll be able to tell from the stench of clove cigarettes and burnt coffee.

As an added bonus, you can use the suit jacket to hide at least four tasers, so when the moment comes, you can flip the coat open like some avenging angel, and give those fuckers 50,000 volts IN THE NADS.

I can do that.  Also, there's this new "pain projector" thingie I am considering ordering before it gets legislated off of the e-shelves.  I'd prefer a "Payne projector", of course, or even one of those bowel disrupters from Transmet, but you work with what you have, right?  Donald Rumsfeld said something like that once, and he's always been a source of inspiration for me, in times like these.  On the other hand, he's shagging golf balls on the wrong end of a driving range these days, with the ghost of Spiro Agnew, so maybe not.

Also, I think PJ O'Rourke might be a little stuffy for their tastes.  Perhaps Glenn Beck's new book?  I'd feel all dirty carrying it, but it beats the hell out of Atlas Shrugged.

I have an "in", too.  I have managed to bamboozle one of these spags into thinking that I am a potential convert.  Easy, really.  I just sat and bitched about the general welfare clause, amendment XVI, and those socialist bastards in congress.

[Richter]

Those black plastic glasses might not hurt either (Crap they look fragile). They have to be SQUARE.  Don't ask me why.

Also, I get there's this strange self defeatist aspect to them.  They pay top dollar for clothing that may as WELL be consignment or Salvation Army.  They bitch about bills and debt while sipping that burnt "coffee" LMNO mentioned.  They talk a good game, and have the income to make things work, but can't budget or save worth a damn.  There's always some small failing of will, something they'd rather do than keep the cash in their pocket.  Naturally, there is surprise and indagnation when their cell phone is turned off. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Those black plastic glasses might not hurt either (Crap they look fragile). They have to be SQUARE.  Don't ask me why.

Also, I get there's this strange self defeatist aspect to them.  They pay top dollar for clothing that may as WELL be consignment or Salvation Army.  They bitch about bills and debt while sipping that burnt "coffee" LMNO mentioned.  They talk a good game, and have the income to make things work, but can't budget or save worth a damn.  There's always some small failing of will, something they'd rather do than keep the cash in their pocket.  Naturally, there is surprise and indagnation when their cell phone is turned off. 

All the ones I've met are either unemployed, or are at The Safehouse when they should be in class, posting (with daddy's credit card) about "personal responsibility".

[Richter]

"Daddy's credit card", is a the problem I'm seeing.  Life is not college.  College is 4 years of slack at the expense of bills for the next 20 or so. 
Being dropped off at the campus with a meal plan and access to only what you saved from the past summer (you DID save, right?), makes this point decently.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Daddy's credit card", is a the problem I'm seeing.  Life is not college.  College is 4 years of slack at the expense of bills for the next 20 or so. 
Being dropped off at the campus with a meal plan and access to only what you saved from the past summer (you DID save, right?), makes this point decently.

Lose the meal plan.  They have to learn this shit.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

"Daddy's credit card", is a the problem I'm seeing.  Life is not college.  College is 4 years of slack at the expense of bills for the next 20 or so. 
Being dropped off at the campus with a meal plan and access to only what you saved from the past summer (you DID save, right?), makes this point decently.

Lose the meal plan.  They have to learn this shit.

THIS!