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Why should I give a fuck about Tiger Woods?

Started by AFK, December 01, 2009, 06:32:33 PM

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AFK

December 01, 2009, 06:32:33 PM
America has always been obsessed with celebrity.  But man, ever since the invention of Reality TV it seems like it's gone into overdrive.  Why the hell should any of us give a damn about how or why Tiger Woods ran his vehicle into a tree, or fire hydrant, or whatever the fuck it was.  Why does it matter?  He hits a goddamn white ball into a hole.  Who the fuck cares?  Because he's really good at hitting the goddamn white ball into the little hole he somehow must be immune to being a dumbfuck? 

Jesus, President Obama is sending 35,000 poor saps over to the desert to play "Who Wants to Be a IED Casualty?", people are STILL losing jobs, Healthcare reform seems to be pretty much dead, and we're concerned about the plight of Tiger fucking Woods?  Fuck him.  Maybe he is cheating on his wife, maybe he was drunk, maybe he's just an awful driver.  I hate myself for knowing as much about this shit as I do.  It's World AIDS day.  You know, that little auto-immune disease that is killing tons of Africans and still killing way too many Americans, but fuck if anyone would know about it because we're too busy worrying about Tiger fucking Woods. 

"Gasp!  Will he lose his endorsements?"  Of course not dumbass!  It's not like Golf is going to drop him and make Vijay Singh their poster-boy.  He's going to be just fine.  Can we put something on the national agenda that actually means something?  Like, "Why the hell is Obama such a puss?"  eh, but that's another rant. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
December 01, 2009, 06:34:29 PM
I have no idea what you're talking about.

What did this golfer do? Crash his car?  Who cares?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

#2
December 01, 2009, 06:38:40 PM
We don't usually watch the evening news, but something possessed my wife to turn it on the other night. (pregnancy hormones I suppose) It was the fucking #2 story.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Brotep

#3
December 01, 2009, 06:46:33 PM
Someone mentioned it, in passing.  Didn't care.


Couple things going on here...

One, celebrities = alpha monkeys.  So we make it our business to know what they're doing, as if that will help.

Two, distraction.  The newsmedia and its viewers have a codependent relationship: in exchange for the media avoiding anything significant  (thus taking the focus away from both external issues and our own personal issues), we the viewers refrain from thinking too critically about the news and act as though it were of great import.

The stories are so formulaic, they are used over and over--all you have to do is swap out the proper nouns.

AFK

#4
December 01, 2009, 06:50:15 PM
I suppose I can understand the draw on one level.  So many peoples' lives are upside down because of the economy, etc., it's fun to watch a rich guy suffer.  Cept, he really ain't suffering. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Brotep

#5
December 01, 2009, 06:52:45 PM
Yeah, there's gotta be some schadenfreude in there.

I guess that's what it means to be a celebrity: having people care what's going through your head...or, at least, what your head is going through: for instance, a windshield.

Bu🤠ns

#6
December 01, 2009, 07:32:14 PM
I think it also brings the so called 'man on a pedestal' back down to the common person's level.

It's a way for us normies to relate to the great great celebrity.  That's also partially why reality tv is so popular.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
December 01, 2009, 07:33:10 PM
I believe I may have mentioned in the past that I hate TV.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#8
December 01, 2009, 08:10:27 PM
What the hell kind of fucking stupid first name is Tiger? :argh!:

Fuck him!

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Da6s

#9
December 01, 2009, 08:12:18 PM
Here's why you should give a fuck: Iron(y). This farce is hilarious when you take a step back and look at it.

Apparently his wife assaulted and pretty much beat the ever living shit out of him with one of his own golf clubs (possibly affair related, but who the fuck cares.)

He was then so dazed and delirious from having his ass kicked by one of his own signature golf clubs that he proceeded to wreck his SUV into a fire hydrant not 50 yards from his house.



We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

P3nT4gR4m

#10
December 01, 2009, 08:13:47 PM
A real man would have wrecked the SUV into the wife. I blame the perverts that named him Tiger

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

#11
December 01, 2009, 08:13:57 PM
Quote from: Da6s on December 01, 2009, 08:12:18 PM
Here's why you should give a fuck: Iron(y). This farce is hilarious when you take a step back and look at it.

Apparently his wife assaulted and pretty much beat the ever living shit out of him with one of his own golf clubs (possibly affair related, but who the fuck cares.)

He was then so dazed and delirious from having his ass kicked by one of his own signature golf clubs that he proceeded to wreck his SUV into a fire hydrant not 50 yards from his house.





Not to be too pedantic, but why is that ironic?

P3nT4gR4m

#12
December 01, 2009, 08:14:57 PM
It's not - just another fucking american who thinks he understands the concept  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Da6s

#13
December 01, 2009, 08:15:46 PM
He supposedly was beaten with an iron, and not a wood.
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

P3nT4gR4m

#14
December 01, 2009, 08:18:34 PM
Told ya  :|

FTR - irony =/= deformed pun

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark
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