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Another Giant Leaves Us.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 16, 2009, 01:01:08 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

December 16, 2009, 01:01:08 AM
 :cry:

Another great huckster has passed...

http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Evangelist+Oral+Roberts+dies/2344030/story.html

QuoteTelevision evangelist Oral Roberts — who once said God would "call him home" if he failed to meet a fundraising goal — has died after suffering a weekend fall. He was 91.

A posting on the Oral Roberts Ministries site Tuesday stated Roberts had been admitted to hospital on the weekend after a fall and had been suffering symptoms of pneumonia.

"Oral Roberts was the greatest man of God I've ever known," his son Richard Roberts, who leads the ministry, said in a statement.

"A modern-day apostle of the healing ministry, an author, educator, evangelist, prophet, and innovator, he was the only man of his generation to build a worldwide ministry, an accredited university, and a medical school. His name is synonymous with miracles. And he came along when many in Christendom did not believe in God's power and goodness."

The website of the multi-million dollar ministry founded by Roberts quickly posted tributes on Tuesday.

Website, you say?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

#1
December 16, 2009, 01:05:53 AM
The preacher John Lennon trolled!  :eek:

...website?
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
December 16, 2009, 01:07:50 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 16, 2009, 01:05:53 AM
The preacher John Lennon trolled!  :eek:

...website?

http://www.orm.cc/

Click to leave a prayer.   :)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jenne

#3
December 16, 2009, 02:25:31 PM
Rog, you are an evil, evil man.  This is awesome.  Also, fuck Oral Roberts.  He obviously didn't meet his fucking quota and "Jaysus" brought him "home"...if this was what a "greatest man of God" was, well then shit, everyone else needs to just kickback already.

P3nT4gR4m

#4
December 16, 2009, 02:29:23 PM
Just wondering - is there an Anal and/or Missionary Roberts?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

AFK

#5
December 16, 2009, 02:32:14 PM
I've got my money on Robertson being the next one to go.  (or maybe Ted Haggert in some kind of unfortunate and unseemly incident) I think that fucker Dobson is going to hang around for awhile. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Jenne

#6
December 16, 2009, 02:32:21 PM
:lol:  Well, perhaps he had forbears or children/grandchildren with those, uh, distinctions?

There are some old-timey names (esp ones from the South) that are pretty lulzy, I do admit.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#7
December 16, 2009, 03:16:04 PM
+10 points to anyone who uses the phrase "God gave us Oral" or some variation thereof.

P3nT4gR4m

#8
December 16, 2009, 03:26:25 PM
Oral's dead. It totally blows. Tweet me back.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Vaudeville Vigilante

#9
December 16, 2009, 03:34:23 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 16, 2009, 02:29:23 PM
Just wondering - is there an Anal and/or Missionary Roberts?
I just shit my pants.  :lulz:

P3nT4gR4m

#10
December 16, 2009, 03:36:33 PM
Quote from: Vaudeville Vigilante on December 16, 2009, 03:34:23 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 16, 2009, 02:29:23 PM
Just wondering - is there an Anal and/or Missionary Roberts?
I just shit my pants.  :lulz:

Scat Roberts?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#11
December 16, 2009, 03:37:52 PM
D. P. Roberts?

LMNO

#12
December 16, 2009, 03:38:42 PM
Throatfuck Roberts.

Vaudeville Vigilante

#13
December 16, 2009, 03:40:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 16, 2009, 03:38:42 PM
Throatfuck Roberts.
Less believable.

P3nT4gR4m

#14
December 16, 2009, 03:41:45 PM
Donkeypunch Roberts

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark
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