Author Topic: ITT: I read the sekrit  (Read 8725 times)

Dysnomia

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #60 on: January 19, 2010, 06:11:02 am »
Quote
People are amazed at how I line up parking
spaces. I've done this right from when I first
understood The Secret. I would visualize a parking space
exactly where I wanted it, and 95 percent of the time it would
be therefore me and I would just pull straight in. Five percent
of the time I'd have to wait just a minute or two, and the
person would pull out and I'd pull in, I do that all the time.

Actually, I do this with my grandma.  When I was little she told me about "the Jewish blessing" (note: we aren't Jewish, and apparently neither is the guy she learned this from) where if we believe the parking spot will be there, we'll find one.  Always works for some reason.   :?  However...my mom thinks it's shit, and coincidently can never find a good spot.  lol


moral to the story?  I AM A FUCKING PARKING WIZARDDDDDD!
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Cain

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #61 on: January 19, 2010, 08:46:32 am »
Wait, so she uses the power to bend reality to her desires to find parking spaces?

Hello, aiming a little low arent we?

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #62 on: January 19, 2010, 09:09:59 am »
Next trip to the supermarket I'ma visualise zombies  :zombie:
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #63 on: January 19, 2010, 12:38:10 pm »
Next trip to the supermarket I'ma visualise zombies  :zombie:

STOP DOING THAT.

SRSLY JUST STOP.

HAVE YOU SEEN WALLMART
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #64 on: January 19, 2010, 12:56:51 pm »
Never had the pleasure but gimme a shotgun, a chainsaw and a backup machete and I'll go have a look
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
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Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

Triple Zero

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #65 on: January 19, 2010, 01:05:21 pm »
i think they have all those there.
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #66 on: January 19, 2010, 01:15:59 pm »
In that case I don't get it. Amerikanses are forever criticising this establishment but it stocks the three essential weapon groups? WTF?
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
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Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #67 on: January 19, 2010, 03:05:31 pm »
you  have to claw yourself through the zombie masses first, though.

i heard some of them are even cyborg zombies. They move around in strange carts, their bodies mutated into horrible nameless shapes, the muffled, maddening beating of the drums and thin, monotonous horns of blasphemous music, the crackling tinny voices coming from behind the walls of the blind, voiceless, mindless gargoyles from mouths that are no mouths.
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #68 on: January 19, 2010, 03:35:47 pm »
... and it's full of really fun weapons. Sounds perfect! Like Disneyland for sociopaths :fap:
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

Dysnomia

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #69 on: January 20, 2010, 01:11:35 am »
... and it's full of really fun weapons. Sounds perfect! Like Disneyland for sociopaths :fap:

Welcome to the United States of America.  Particularly the Mid-western states, and Deep South.   :fap:
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #70 on: January 20, 2010, 03:54:36 am »
you  have to claw yourself through the zombie masses first, though.

i heard some of them are even cyborg zombies. They move around in strange carts, their bodies mutated into horrible nameless shapes, the muffled, maddening beating of the drums and thin, monotonous horns of blasphemous music, the crackling tinny voices coming from behind the walls of the blind, voiceless, mindless gargoyles from mouths that are no mouths.

Holy shit, trip.

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #71 on: January 20, 2010, 03:59:00 am »
you  have to claw yourself through the zombie masses first, though.

i heard some of them are even cyborg zombies. They move around in strange carts, their bodies mutated into horrible nameless shapes, the muffled, maddening beating of the drums and thin, monotonous horns of blasphemous music, the crackling tinny voices coming from behind the walls of the blind, voiceless, mindless gargoyles from mouths that are no mouths.

Holy shit, trip.

no shit, this needs to go in BPotD.

Triple Zero

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #72 on: January 20, 2010, 02:36:37 pm »
some credit goes out to mah man HP Lovecraft and the final paragraph of his awesome horror poem short story Nyarlathotep.

best fucking Lovecraft story I read, ever. Hands down.
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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #73 on: January 23, 2010, 07:35:02 am »
I have that one in print.  The Crawling Chaos FTW.

Cain

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Re: ITT: I read the sekrit
« Reply #74 on: January 23, 2010, 12:07:41 pm »
I saw a collected works of Lovecraft for sale the other day, should've bought it.  Oh well.  Next time, perhaps.