I thought I was doing them a service, Roger...

[Suu]

I mean, everything is just too convenient these days, right? We're a society that is built on convenience, and as part of our daily norm, it's often difficult to deal with the podge of inconvenience.

I had a large table today of 13 people, and they all wanted separate checks. This is inconvenient to me, and usually a sign that they want out of the 20% gratuity I would be enforcing on them. I told them no, and the stunned looks across the table made me feel satisfied.

Convenience is a one-sided beast. On one side, I had my convenience of only having to deal with cashing out one check, but on the other end, I forced 13 adults to use basic math skill they haven't touched since high school to determine their shares of the bill, which took them an astonishing amount of time for folks that acted so educated and snobbish toward me. They seemed as if they got me, by shoving in $25 worth of ones, but again, another convenience, since it's useful to me in my cash out. It was win-win. I made them do math, and their inability to do so correctly gave me an additional $10 on top of the mandatory gratuity.

But not without cost.

Our dining room and kitchen close at 11:00pm EST. This is oft-times obvious by the actions that I take when I begin to break down my service area, but they continued to sit, stagnate, and enjoy whatever their preppy 5k running, Barrington lives had to talk about. I let their water run dry. They paid me at 10:20pm, and they sat until 11:42pm. I should have left nearly 45 minutes prior. Therefore, I was now inconvenienced. That $10 wasn't rent for an additional hour and a half of table time, and now it felt like an insult. But I waited, patiently, and sat at the bar to finish my Diet Royal Crown Cola. I grumbled, but I didn't impede. For when they did finally get up and lurk in the foyer of our tiny restaurant, I made sure my coworker and I constantly got in their way while cleaning up their filthy mess, after which they quickly became fed up and left.

We take for granted how convenience we are in our daily lives, don't we? It's only when our convenience is taken away that we remember our precious little lives aren't perfect. Suddenly our emotions flip flop, like a baby dropping its pacifier and bursting into tears at the lost of comfort. I think I'm going to continue to take it away from those as often as possible. Some people just don't deserve it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am always astonished at the stupidity of people who try to make life rough on those who handle their food...particularly when they can't see you at all times.

However, the sense of entitlement in America - and, judging from Cain's stories, elsewhere - is mind-boggling.  There has to be a point at which "The customer is always right" turns into "The customer is being worked over in the back alley by the entire wait staff and the dishwasher, and we'll be with you as soon as we can".

It is a known fact that fucking with service sector employees is the last resort of wannabe big shots.  A really good indication of how big of a wheel someone WANTS to be (as opposed to how big they ARE) is how they treat "the help".  When I see someone abusing the help or boasting to the bartender, I automatically assume that person is a non-entity in their daily lives, and write them off as blowhards.

A little tip to the studio audience:  Being polite costs you nothing, and makes you look like you don't HAVE to act like a total shit to feel confident or powerful.  A little consideration goes a very long way towards making sure you and your date enjoy your evening, rather than spending it gagging on not-quite-done poultry.  Being a prick to the waitstaff isn't impressing your date (if it is, don't marry that person)...in fact, the VERY first thing I look at is how nice you are to people who cannot respond to rudeness.  If you insult the waiter pointlessly, we are on our last date.

Wait staff are paid to lay out an enjoyable meal, and make sure you have what you need.  They are not there to kiss your ass.

End of story.

(I will re-write this more clearly tomorrow.  Tired right now.)   

[Suu]

Not only did they all nod at me slowly and give me the "okay and shut up now, little girl" look even when I was telling them about the pan-seared swordfish special, it was a woman's birthday, and they requested a cake be brought to her.

Sure, not a problem.

Then 2 others joined their party late and ordered entrees, so I delayed the cake. Then the man who asked me would constantly look over at me, shake his head, and sneer. He eventually came over to me and went, "We'd like dessert menus, also, where is the cake? You need to bring it out right away because we're in a bit of a hurry."

To which I, replied, "You had others join your party, and I didn't want to be rude by offering you all dessert and presenting the birthday cake while they were still on their appetizers."

He said, "Well, they were too late. So please get the cake." And stormed off.

I replied, "I'm sure your friends will be glad to know that you care."

...That slice of German Chocolate cake was the smallest in the restaurant. It also had a little garnish of cayenne.

You see, Roger, you're right. But it's not just about how other's treat the help, it's the expectation of certain conveniences as a whole. I wait in lines, I deal with eBay snipers, and I tolerate even the greatest of assholes that try to act superior to me because I'm waiting on them...because it pisses everyone else off.

And that table, for being in such a rush...sure as hell sat for a while, didn't they?

[Suu]

And yes, I really am that snarky when I serve you. If you deserve it, you're getting it.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

True story--

I will never eat at a restaurant with my mother's husband again. For he likes to order off the menu, bark at the wait staff, complain, put A-1 on a filet mignon, and try to tip $10 on a $100 ticket.

obviously I snickered and winked at the waiter when he told the girl who brought out the salads, which one, specifically, was his. He smiled and it was a funny secret.
Whatever they did! 
And he deserved it.

Don't fuck with the people who prepare your god damned food.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You see, Roger, you're right. But it's not just about how other's treat the help, it's the expectation of certain conveniences as a whole.

Yes, but the derailment of their precious convenience is but one weapon in your arsenal, Suu.  Never forget that there are others.

[Suu]

You see, Roger, you're right. But it's not just about how other's treat the help, it's the expectation of certain conveniences as a whole.

Yes, but the derailment of their precious convenience is but one weapon in your arsenal, Suu.  Never forget that there are others.

And I do love sriracha....

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You see, Roger, you're right. But it's not just about how other's treat the help, it's the expectation of certain conveniences as a whole.

Yes, but the derailment of their precious convenience is but one weapon in your arsenal, Suu.  Never forget that there are others.

And I do love sriracha....

What is sriracha?

[Suu]

Sriracha is a really hot chili pepper sauce from Thailand, aka, "Rooster Sauce".



It's one of the Richterian food groups.

[Dimocritus]

  Must. Have. Sriracha.

One man's weapon is anothers mouth-watering treat.