ITT: Suu and Cain compare restaurant horror stories.

[Suu]

Fortunately for my sanity it's so cold out not a lot of people will be going out. Unfortunate for my wallet though.

[Jasper]

I kinda see the problem, Cain, but can they really fire you for having those qualifications?

Come to America, people will treat you like James Bond.

[Cain]

Oh, they can't fire me.  The way things are going here, everyone has job security for life.  I'm just annoyed because now my boss knows not to trust me, and I cannot carry out any acts of sabotage with anonymity.  He also has something of a dodgy set of friends, which could complicate matters.

[Jasper]

Mm.  Bother.  If you can't sabotage him because he has the clue, you might as well see if he's interested in employing your talents. 

[East Coast Hustle]

also, screw you both. MY restaurant (I use the term loosely) doesn't know what a roux is. They literally thicken EVERYTHING with cornstarch, except in the instances where they just use prepackaged gravy mix. And all of our proteins except for our burger patties come out of a freezer.

OH AND DID I FUCKING MENTION THAT THEY PUT OIL IN THE PASTA WATER? DID I? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!!!!!!

I hate my new job. Badly.

Wait.  You got a job?  I can't decide whether to congratulate you or commiserate with you, based on this post.

Actually, wait.  Oil in the pasta water? 

Kill them, ECH.  There's isn't a jury that would convict you.

yeah, they hired me to be some sort of sous chef/lead line position with the explicit understanding that I was their preferred candidate for the job because I would be able to shore up the weaknesses of the head chef and the rest of the crew (IOW, they want me to be the badass Staff Sergeant to his inept Lieutenant). The head chef works hard and has a good grasp of the administrative and organizational stuff, but he seems to think he knows how to cook and every time I've tried to gently correct him about something or impart some knowledge, I've been rebuffed with the "well, this is how the owners want it done" line, even though the owners supposedly want ME to show HIM how stuff is supposed to be done.

Also, they screwed up setting up direct deposit for me. No idea when or even if I'll see my first paycheck, they seem to take the attitude that if the money ends up in someone else's account it's my problem, not theirs. If this indeed proves to be the case, it will not go well for them as I will be forced to work there long enough to collect at least one more full paycheck, during which period of time I can wreak havoc and sabotage things they don't even know exist, let alone know how to fix.

[East Coast Hustle]

AND THEN...

So I'm headed in to work at 8:30 on a friday night, to work until a little after midnight. I'm doing this so I can learn the late-nite menu, which we only do on friday and saturday nights between 10pm and midnight. Starting next week, friday and saturday are my regular nights off. FML. I'd burn this place down, but I'd probably be charged with a hate crime. I can see it now...

"No, officer, the gay clientele had nothing to do with this. It was mostly because they put oil in the pasta water. I couldn't let them test like that."

[Requia ☣]

Shiiiiiit.  I thought my bosses were incompetent, I have seen nothing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Maybe, maybe not.  The fact I went to some length to downplay or not mention it will certainly be noticed...plus this is the guy who goes everywhere with a bodyguard.  He may be slightly paranoid.

Or, maybe he's smart enough to go, hmmm, this is a guy I could use on my side.

[Telarus]

also, screw you both. MY restaurant (I use the term loosely) doesn't know what a roux is. They literally thicken EVERYTHING with cornstarch, except in the instances where they just use prepackaged gravy mix. And all of our proteins except for our burger patties come out of a freezer.

OH AND DID I FUCKING MENTION THAT THEY PUT OIL IN THE PASTA WATER? DID I? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!!!!!!

I hate my new job. Badly.