The Jar Was Empty.

[Dimocritus]

They set you up, you know. The Big Man in Charge, he couldn't cut it, so he made you a scapegoat. Sure, it was presented as a gift, but who gives gifts like this without an ulterior motive?

"Don't press the shiny, alluring red button, Lil' miss." Yeah, we all know how that always ends up. Yes, they set you up, threw you right under the bus. Someone needed to take the fall, and you better believe it wasn't going to be the Big Man in Charge. He needed to stick around. Who else was qualified for the continuous distribution of Hellfire and Damnation? I mean really qualified.

So you pressed the big red button. You opened the jar. Now, they say you released these terrible things to plague humanity. They took advantage of your natural inquisitiveness, made not only a scape goat of Woman, but of all of us that share that same natural curiosity. "What makes this work?" "Why does this happen?" Don't ask now. The Big Man in Charge won't answer. Not only does he not want you to know, but he's not all that sure himself.

There's good news to be had here, however. I'll let you in on a little secret.

The jar was empty.

Those terrible, terrible plagues that you, supposedly, let loose on mankind were already there. They were never in the jar in the first place. They just wanted you to believe that, so you would take responsibility for what they have done.

No, the box was empty, except for maybe a couple of those springy snake things that hide in a can of peanuts on occasion. Completely empty. Not only were all those baddies not in there, but hope itself was absent as well. Don't worry, though. Hope was never what it was cracked up to be. Hope is what keeps people from actually doing something about it. "I hope, someday, to achieve" can now change to "I will achieve." "We must keep hope alive for a better future" changes to "We can create a better future." Hope is a nice, warm pillow that can hide a poisonous scorpion, but it's OK now, because now we know that the jar was empty.
 

[LMNO]

This concept really needs to be turned into a short story, about 5,000-10,000 words.

Nice job, Dimo.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Actually, that needs to be bellowed into an MP3 file.

[LMNO]

Go ye to the mountaintop, good sir.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Go ye to the mountaintop, good sir.

Dimo can do his own.

I'm working on a spoken rant of my own.  I'll mail it to you when I'm done.

[LMNO]

Oh, dear.


That poor microphone.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh, dear.


That poor microphone.

Spoken, not shouted.  You lose a lot of the effect if you actually yell.  I scrapped a couple of podcasts for that reason.

[Dimocritus]

This concept really needs to be turned into a short story, about 5,000-10,000 words.

Nice job, Dimo.

Thanks, LMNO. I might consider doing just that. Sort of like a behind the scenes prequel to the pandora's box myth could be cool.

Actually, that needs to be bellowed into an MP3 file.

I may do this, actually.

[LMNO]

Oh, dear.


That poor microphone.

Spoken, not shouted.  You lose a lot of the effect if you actually yell.  I scrapped a couple of podcasts for that reason.

The Spiders piece I'm working on currently has a shout-y part.  It's really hard to do, because you have to carefully enunciate every word, while keeping the emotion level high.  Otherwise it comes out "YARANARGANARGANARG" which gets the point across, but not the details.

[Dimocritus]

Oh, dear.


That poor microphone.

Spoken, not shouted.  You lose a lot of the effect if you actually yell.  I scrapped a couple of podcasts for that reason.

The Spiders piece I'm working on currently has a shout-y part.  It's really hard to do, because you have to carefully enunciate every word, while keeping the emotion level high.  Otherwise it comes out "YARANARGANARGANARG" which gets the point across, but not the details.

Ha That's kinda' like every song my band does.

[LMNO]

Yeah, but your lyrics suck, so that's ok.











LMNO
-too far?  perhaps.

[Dimocritus]

Nope. It's Hardcore/Punk. No such thing as too far or too soon. 

[LMNO]

I think you guys need to update your sound.




That's not snark, that's an honest suggestion.

[Dimocritus]

I agree. We've been at it for a long time and you know how habits can be. TBH, my drummer is a lazy ass-hole and my guitarist is a thick-headed prick. I think it may be time for me to move onto something new. But, hell, if it were still '89-'94 we'd be the shit.

[Dimocritus]

Edit for Intermittens! Bumped for feedback!

They set you up, you know. The Big Man in Charge, he couldn't cut it, so he made you a scapegoat. Sure, it was presented as a gift, but who gives gifts like this without an ulterior motive?

"Don't press the shiny, alluring red button, Lil' miss." Yeah, we all know how that always ends up. Yes, they set you up, threw you right under the bus. Someone needed to take the fall, and you better believe it wasn't going to be the Big Man in Charge. He needed to stick around. Who else was qualified for the continuous distribution of Hellfire and Damnation? I mean really qualified.

So you pressed the big red button. You opened the jar. Now, they say you released these terrible things to plague humanity. They took advantage of your natural inquisitiveness, made not only a scape goat of Woman, but of all of us that share that same natural curiosity. "What makes this work?" "Why does this happen?" Don't ask now. The Big Man in Charge won't answer. Not only does he not want you to know, but he's not all that sure himself.

There's good news to be had here, however. I'll let you in on a little secret.

The jar was empty.

Those terrible, terrible plagues that you, supposedly, let loose on mankind were already there. They were never in the jar in the first place. They just wanted you to believe that, so you would take responsibility for what they have done.

No, the jar was empty. (except for maybe a couple of those springy snake things that hide in a can of peanuts on occasion). Completely empty. Not only were all those baddies not in there, but hope itself was absent as well. Don't worry, though. Hope was never what the Big Man in Charge chalked it up to be. Hope is what keeps people from actually doing something about it. "I hope, someday, to achieve" can now change to "I will achieve." "We must keep hope alive for a better future" changes to "We can create a better future." Hope is a nice, warm pillow that can only help you while you're lying down and defensless. But it's OK now, because now we know that the jar was empty.