EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/02/terry_kleiman_broke_into_ex-gi.php

[E.O.T.]

THERE'S

          not a lot to do in Wisconsin.

WHERE

          was my hot sex me up teacher?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Charged with "sexing up"? Is that how it's going to read on the docket?

[Jasper]

Hot dog!

[Freeky]

GODDAMIT I HATE PEOPLE!

[Jasper]

Seriously.  I hate to see good dog like that go begging.

[Richter]

This bugs me.  It's wrong.

The poodle should have been properly an humanely slaughtered.  Gutted, skinned and preppared like a chicken.  After being cooked for an appropriate amount of time, it could be removed from the over to the fridge, with the accompanying carrots, celery and potatoes like a leftover pot roast. 

I'm guessing that a vinagrette would be best for roasting.  since you don't have the tiem before the ex comes home to hang or otherwise age the dog.  You'll want whatever you cook it with to tenderize it some.  Yeah, you'll be covering the bitch in tin foil too for some slow roast fun.

Clean up the kitchen, take out the trash, everythign as you found it, etc.

Now, I'm not saying cooking and eating housepets is cool.  I'm saying if you're going to be crazy, CARE.  Put some effort in, like you're GM'ing a tabletop game.  Lead your mark through an experience, that culminates with them finding the dog arranged like leftovers in the fridge.  They likely won't notice it, if they panic and go looking for the dog.  It will be later, when they finally set eyes on an oddly proportioned, but elegantly prepared roast that they start to wonder if that long carcass really COULD be little Fifi. 

They won't know.

Not knowing is half the battle

::HP LOVECRAFT Logo::     

[Triple Zero]

Richter has spoken.

LISTEN TO THIS MAN

THIS FOOD'LL MAKE EVERYBODY SAY TOODLE TO THEIR POODLE

[Freeky]

You know something, Richter? Your recipe didn't bother me near as much as the article did, and I don't know how I feel about that.

[Doktor Howl]

GODDAMIT I HATE PEOPLE!

I still need to borrow that puppy of yours.

[Freeky]

Ahem.









































MY

FCUKING

PUPPY!

[Richter]

You know something, Richter? Your recipe didn't bother me near as much as the article did, and I don't know how I feel about that.

There's the obvious satire element, hope I played that up enough.  I'd never hurt a housepet, as long as it was healthy and not trying to hurt me. 

I think there's also kind of a "Hannibal Lechter" effect to something like that.  Sure, you're talking about a vile act, killing soemthign defenseless to get back at someone else.  Performing this act in a careful, genteel way though gives it a REALLY weird sort of dissonance.  It still has it's appeal.  (I read somewhere that laughter is our brains bascially getting so uncomfortable they don't know what else to do.  Pretty sure this follows the same lines.)

[Freeky]

That makes sense.

[Doktor Howl]

Ahem.

I only need it for 3 hours.  Two, if I charge the capacitors in advance.

[Triple Zero]

Plus, you'll get TWO of them in return!