Author Topic: Sense of Time  (Read 1058 times)

Eater of Clowns

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Sense of Time
« on: April 02, 2010, 05:32:17 pm »
   It's early spring and it's a Thursday and it's three o'clock in the morning.  I'm getting out of work after a twelve hour shift and I'm walking to my car and there's nobody else.  It's never worked out like this before but it just seems so familiar because of the season's young mists and the smell of dew and the silence of the hour.  And because I've done it all before so many times in the early spring.
   It's early spring and I'm a freshman, I'm a sophomore, I'm a junior, I'm a senior, I'm one year out, I'm measuring time by years at my job and not by years of my class now.  Working on the second without breaking a sweat because it's all been so nice and sure here and I'm still young it doesn't always seem like an eternity in place.  It's early spring and I'm turning nineteen and there's a green dinosaur pinata, I'm turning twenty and there's a pistachio cake, I'm turning twenty one and the bar is singing me happy birthday, I'm turning twenty two and I'm at the Moan and Dove, I'm turning twenty three and there's a black forest cake, and I'm turning twenty four now in the early spring and there will be ribs.
   It's the early spring and I'm lonely and I'm interested in this girl and I've been dating her for a year and we're ending it and my girlfriend and I are two months in and we're measuring it in years not months now and I love her but I did then too.  Six years of driving my Corolla, my Lumina, my Civic home in the early spring on roads pocked and lights tauntingly red and a defiant few headlights passing me by.  It's hard finding parking near my dorm near my townhouse near my apartment so late at night.
   It's early spring and setting and plot have shifted but the characters are all the same like it's some hack writer's changing of minor details to sell a whole new story.  It's repetitious and bitterly bitterly nostalgic against even knowledge that there's nothing to be missed.  And six years from now in the early spring will I remember I think I saw a shooting star on the way home?

****

So I thought that one up last night and wrote it down before I went to bed.  It felt really raw at the time but I can't decide if I like it or hate it.  I was trying to describe the sensation of it all having happened at once but still with the memory's lack of clarity - almost like seeing what's in front of you and not being able to really grasp it.  Comments and criticisms welcome.
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Freeky

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Re: Sense of Time
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2010, 05:45:26 pm »
I really liked this.

What I liked in particular how you portrayed the passage of time, as if it was all right at that moment (I think).

Very good style and tone, too.
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As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


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Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Sense of Time
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2010, 04:53:57 am »
It created this really cool time-warp effect in my brain. Do like.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Sense of Time
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2010, 06:12:42 am »
Is good. I like it.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Eater of Clowns

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Re: Sense of Time
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2010, 04:47:29 pm »
Thanks everyone.  I'm a bit surprised, but I'm glad it actually works for people.
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.