Bat-Shit-Insane Mayor Bans Police From Pursuing Criminals

[President Television]

Okay, then "Love Canal".  Ho ho!

The idiots.

[Doktor Howl]

Okay, then "Love Canal".  Ho ho!

The idiots.

Guess what?  This is gonna make you laugh!

[President Television]

Okay, then "Love Canal".  Ho ho!

The idiots.

Guess what?  This is gonna make you laugh!

You have horrified me twice in five minutes in two separate threads. Bravo, Doktor.

EDIT: I do have to admit that the sheer incompetence of the school board is hilarious once the initial shock wears off. It's beyond Simpsons levels of absurdity. Am I catching on?

[Bruno]

The Bhopal gas tragedy is another "good one".

[Doktor Howl]

Okay, then "Love Canal".  Ho ho!

The idiots.

Guess what?  This is gonna make you laugh!

You have horrified me twice in five minutes in two separate threads. Bravo, Doktor.

EDIT: I do have to admit that the sheer incompetence of the school board is hilarious once the initial shock wears off. It's beyond Simpsons levels of absurdity. Am I catching on?

They're building in Love Canal again.  Ho ho!

[President Television]

Okay, then "Love Canal".  Ho ho!

The idiots.

Guess what?  This is gonna make you laugh!

You have horrified me twice in five minutes in two separate threads. Bravo, Doktor.

EDIT: I do have to admit that the sheer incompetence of the school board is hilarious once the initial shock wears off. It's beyond Simpsons levels of absurdity. Am I catching on?

They're building in Love Canal again.  Ho ho!

OR HOR HOR

[Iason Ouabache]

You want some real horror: "Bath School"

[Doktor Howl]

You want some real horror: "Bath School"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_School_disaster

[Juana]

 

[LMNO]

Can't forget The Tuskegee Experiment.  Barrel of laughs, that one.

[Remington]

Nowhere near as bad, but here's a look at how some schools treat their small, impressionable charges today:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18587_8-real-grade-schools-that-went-completely-insane.html

Teaching proper conflict resolution to the more troubled students can be tricky. These are kids who let their fists do the talking, and the only word they know is punch. But we do know one thing: It's probably not a good idea to let them settle their differences in school-sponsored illegal bare-knuckled cage matches, like South Oak Cliff High did.

Reportedly, a number of teachers from the Dallas South Oak Cliff High let their more violent pupils into a makeshift Thunderdome in the boys' locker room and left them there until only one was able to walk back out again.



Testimonies claim that the entire staff was in on it and that these practices went down for more than two years, between 2003 and 2005.

The entire faculty completely denies the allegations, especially the principal, who claims "ain't nothing to comment on," though considering his bizarre past (including staging his own kidnapping and fatally shooting an old guy) we're not sure why Texas put him in charge of kids instead of making him principal of the exercise yard at the county prison.


It was probably due to some kind of communication breakdown.

Since then, more reports from whistleblowers have surfaced, claiming that the staged matches were "gladiator-style entertainment for the staff,"

Look, kids can be suicidal little lemming bastards. We get it. Turn your back on them for 10 seconds and they're diving toward the power socket with a knife outstretched.

But as much as we'd sometimes like to let them top themselves for the good of the (much diminished) future generations, most of us are instilled with a biological drive known as ethics.

Not so for the British Melksham Manor School whose policy is to do precisely jack shit when one of their students weasels himself into mortal danger. A five-year-old kid found this out the hard way a few months ago when he climbed a 20-foot tall tree and found himself stuck there. Some teachers noticed him, and proceeded to completely ignore his plight as per their health and safety policy.

When pressed for answer concerning what the hell they were thinking, the school's administration explained that the teachers were forbidden to act because they feared any rescue operation might distract the boy and cause him to fall. The policy apparently rests upon the assumption that he will simply learn to fly eventually.


Luckily, this hour-long acorn impression later ended without a depressing splat after the boy was helped down by a passing stranger, sparing the school awkward conversations with the kid's parents or the hassle of having to clean a vaguely child-shaped stain off the pavement. Naturally, the woman who saved the boy was later sued by the school for trespassing on private property.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nowhere near as bad, but here's a look at how some schools treat their small, impressionable charges today:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18587_8-real-grade-schools-that-went-completely-insane.html

Teaching proper conflict resolution to the more troubled students can be tricky. These are kids who let their fists do the talking, and the only word they know is punch. But we do know one thing: It's probably not a good idea to let them settle their differences in school-sponsored illegal bare-knuckled cage matches, like South Oak Cliff High did.

Reportedly, a number of teachers from the Dallas South Oak Cliff High let their more violent pupils into a makeshift Thunderdome in the boys' locker room and left them there until only one was able to walk back out again.



Testimonies claim that the entire staff was in on it and that these practices went down for more than two years, between 2003 and 2005.

The entire faculty completely denies the allegations, especially the principal, who claims "ain't nothing to comment on," though considering his bizarre past (including staging his own kidnapping and fatally shooting an old guy) we're not sure why Texas put him in charge of kids instead of making him principal of the exercise yard at the county prison.


It was probably due to some kind of communication breakdown.

Since then, more reports from whistleblowers have surfaced, claiming that the staged matches were "gladiator-style entertainment for the staff,"

Look, kids can be suicidal little lemming bastards. We get it. Turn your back on them for 10 seconds and they're diving toward the power socket with a knife outstretched.

But as much as we'd sometimes like to let them top themselves for the good of the (much diminished) future generations, most of us are instilled with a biological drive known as ethics.

Not so for the British Melksham Manor School whose policy is to do precisely jack shit when one of their students weasels himself into mortal danger. A five-year-old kid found this out the hard way a few months ago when he climbed a 20-foot tall tree and found himself stuck there. Some teachers noticed him, and proceeded to completely ignore his plight as per their health and safety policy.

When pressed for answer concerning what the hell they were thinking, the school's administration explained that the teachers were forbidden to act because they feared any rescue operation might distract the boy and cause him to fall. The policy apparently rests upon the assumption that he will simply learn to fly eventually.


Luckily, this hour-long acorn impression later ended without a depressing splat after the boy was helped down by a passing stranger, sparing the school awkward conversations with the kid's parents or the hassle of having to clean a vaguely child-shaped stain off the pavement. Naturally, the woman who saved the boy was later sued by the school for trespassing on private property.

No, that's pretty bad. Especially the second part.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Nowhere near as bad, but here's a look at how some schools treat their small, impressionable charges today:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18587_8-real-grade-schools-that-went-completely-insane.html

Teaching proper conflict resolution to the more troubled students can be tricky. These are kids who let their fists do the talking, and the only word they know is punch. But we do know one thing: It's probably not a good idea to let them settle their differences in school-sponsored illegal bare-knuckled cage matches, like South Oak Cliff High did.

Reportedly, a number of teachers from the Dallas South Oak Cliff High let their more violent pupils into a makeshift Thunderdome in the boys' locker room and left them there until only one was able to walk back out again.



Testimonies claim that the entire staff was in on it and that these practices went down for more than two years, between 2003 and 2005.

The entire faculty completely denies the allegations, especially the principal, who claims "ain't nothing to comment on," though considering his bizarre past (including staging his own kidnapping and fatally shooting an old guy) we're not sure why Texas put him in charge of kids instead of making him principal of the exercise yard at the county prison.


It was probably due to some kind of communication breakdown.

Since then, more reports from whistleblowers have surfaced, claiming that the staged matches were "gladiator-style entertainment for the staff,"

Look, kids can be suicidal little lemming bastards. We get it. Turn your back on them for 10 seconds and they're diving toward the power socket with a knife outstretched.

But as much as we'd sometimes like to let them top themselves for the good of the (much diminished) future generations, most of us are instilled with a biological drive known as ethics.

Not so for the British Melksham Manor School whose policy is to do precisely jack shit when one of their students weasels himself into mortal danger. A five-year-old kid found this out the hard way a few months ago when he climbed a 20-foot tall tree and found himself stuck there. Some teachers noticed him, and proceeded to completely ignore his plight as per their health and safety policy.

When pressed for answer concerning what the hell they were thinking, the school's administration explained that the teachers were forbidden to act because they feared any rescue operation might distract the boy and cause him to fall. The policy apparently rests upon the assumption that he will simply learn to fly eventually.


Luckily, this hour-long acorn impression later ended without a depressing splat after the boy was helped down by a passing stranger, sparing the school awkward conversations with the kid's parents or the hassle of having to clean a vaguely child-shaped stain off the pavement. Naturally, the woman who saved the boy was later sued by the school for trespassing on private property.

This broke my head.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That lady reminds me of a conversation we were having about how many politicians are just plain batshit crazy. I think that a surprising amount of being elected to office is just simply being willing to run, and being persistent.

[Zyzyx]

This is why my dream is to build a self-sufficient underground mountain fortress-bunker and seal myself inside. That way I wouldn't have to come up for the suck and fail every so often as we two-legs must do. It's only a dream, though.