HARLEY D BROWN FOR PRESIDENT I MEAN CONGRESS

[Cramulus]

http://www.harleydbrownforcongress.org

He's pretty much the best guy for the job. Reasons:

• Mascot: the "sea bee"



• Slogan:



• Slogan:
• see also: "Combat is NO place for women"



• Direct Quote: "Please consider sending a loud mouth passionate demolition expert to Washington DC. I will destroy mediocrity and politics as we know it. Congress needs someone crazy like me to combat their insanity."



• "9/11 should have been more than enough provocation for us to use our "HEAVY EQUIPMENT.""



• Immigration Policy: "Content Comming [sic] Soon. But for now its Adios Amigos."



• re: Obama's Birth Certificate: "If it is proven Obama is not the legitimate president, then everything he has done while in office and all the people he has appointed and everything they have done will be nullified.
  
  This would really dump hot coals into the shorts of those communist liberal progressive politicians.
  
  It would be like Luke Skywalker dropping his bomb into the ventilation shaft of the Death Star in "Star Wars."

and finally,

the most important reason is his resemblance to a beluga whale:



you can feel free to send Harley any questions or comments you might have using his contact form: http://www.harleydbrownforcongress.org/contact.html

[Doktor Howl]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ima fill that inbox up!   

Thanks, Cram!

[Cramulus]

from here: http://hammerito.tumblr.com/post/536461015/whats-funnier-than-harley-d-brown

Jasen Comstock (who's now on the list of people I want to have a beer with) has turned me on to a congressional candidate so wonderfully insane that I'm going to open up my wallet and donate money to his campaign as soon as he gets a Western Union link set-up on his webpage. I NEED to see this guy on CSPAN everyday. EVERY. DAY. CSPAN would become the highest rated network if this guy was in the House.

Anyways, I don't want to talk about Harley, nor do I want to talk about his lack of basic Star Wars knowledge or his immigration policy that's "comming" (although I keep picturing him standing over a kneeling Statue of Liberty saying, "Oh, immigration, I'm cooooommmmmminnngg"). No, I want to talk about ibizwebsite.com, the company that apparently designed his website.

Look at that website - that's a real company. It exists. And, granted, they don't design the most cutting-edge websites the world has ever seen but they make perfectly functional websites that would have looked awesome in 1998. But I don't even want to talk about ibizwebsite.com's design prowess. Nope, not today.

I want to talk about the fact that Harley D. Brown pitched this website to ibizwebsite.com. THAT'S what I want to talk about. Harley D. Brown sat down with these folks and said, "Now listen here. I have three things I love in this world: God, Guns, and Nukes. I want a webpage that says just that, and nothing else. And I also want it to say that I hate queers, immigrants, and Obama. And there should be a whole section on Obama's birth certificate where I do some common sense talkings. And a cartoon section where I'll write some thing about bird feeders. And I'm gonna say a whole lot of shit about immigrants, so set up an immigrant page - I'm just not sure of my position yet. I mean, I want to nuke immigrants, but we can't 'cause then we'll nuke America. I'm kind of thinking I should propose moving all immigrants to Washington DC and then we can nuke them and the liberal pussies that live there but if I'm elected I'll be living there, too. So just say the page is coming soon...scratch that, I'll send you an email with what to say, I want to make it witty."

And Harley went on like that for an hour. And this guy (actually...it's funnier if it's a girl) that works for ibizwebsite.com took NOTES as this loon went on about Muslims and death and taxes and socialism and, when he was done, she looked him right in the fucking eyes and said, "Got it."

And this website was born. And she collected a pay check.

That, to me, is funnier than Harley D. Brown or ibizwebsite.com by themselves. These two got together and formed a LOVE CONNECTION. This website is their offspring.

Enjoy it.

[Jasper]

[Cramulus]

Dear Harley: It is nice to finally see a candidate openly embracing the explosions and insanity platform. Thank you for being a Real American Hero, and if you get elected, please kill everybody.

[Requia ☣]

This guy is a demolitions expert.

Think about that.  The government lets him handle high explosives, but not you.

[Doktor Howl]

This guy is a demolitions expert.

Think about that.  The government lets him handle high explosives, but not you.

They used to let me handle explosives.  Then they let me leave.  Isn't that nice?

[Elder Iptuous]

from his site:

I considered myself the "intake manifold to the Kingdom of God"

WTF does that mean?!

my name is Iptuous, and i support this idiot.

[Requia ☣]

If this guy wins the primary he's apparently got an even shot at actually winning the election.

[Doktor Howl]

Wait.

That's Memnoch.

[Kai]

Wait.

That's Memnoch.

You're shitting me.

[Doktor Howl]

Wait.

That's Memnoch.

You're shitting me.

Yes.  But it looks just like him.

[Cramulus]

memnoch is a beluga whale??

[Doktor Howl]

memnoch is a beluga whale??

Have you ever seen his pic?

[Doktor Howl]

Bump, because it's almost election time.