Uncyclopedia on Discordja

[Cramulus]

you guys are gonna love this:

from http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Discordianism ...

Hate Rant Discordians


The Hate Rant Discordians welcomed me with open arms.
And fists full of rocks.

"Look around you. Look at these cold, black bars. The colorless ceiling. The hard ground. That's your universe. That's the world you're going to be living in for the rest of your life here in Prison."
~ The Black Iron Prison

"Or kill me."
~ The Black Iron Prison

The next group of Discordians saw me first. I figured they had heard of my mission, and were coming in the shape of a five-sided pentagram to give me something to eat, like hot dogs and cabbages or something. By now I was getting pretty hungry. But when they got closer, I saw they were arranged more like an oblong and were carrying stones and rocks. I knew they were Hate Rant Discordians, and I can tell you I was totally worried. But they totally ignored me.

I swallowed hard. In my profession I have a lot of practice doing that. I said, "H-Hi everybody. I'm Minnie Rae and I'm on a mission from Goddess."

One of them was a black dress-wearing, dark-skinned woman with black hair named Saint Sin. That was the name of her hair. The woman's name was "Goth." She sniffed and said, "Something smells funny," and threw a rock in a random direction. "Just practice," she said to no one in particular.

"Do those rocks and stones represent Starbuck's pebbles?" I asked, hopefully, "so that if you scatter them randomly some people will see patterns in the randomness, and assume the universe is ordered, but you're here to show people differently? If so, can you like help me save the world and stuff?"

Then the group made an opening, and this middle-aged, bald man with a white beard walked out. He face was furrowed with angry scowls and crevices so deep you could use them to hide butcher knives. "We heard about you, DAP," he spat, and where he spit smoke rose up. I knew I was in really real trouble; this was the angry Reverend Roadkill! "You're one of those Really Real Discordians who think everyone should agree with you, aren't you?," he spat. More smoke. "Well, we know the real Discordia, a hateful, vengeful Goddess with a cold, steely knife hidden in her dark bosom. We heard you plan to throw seriousness in the garbage, dine on non-existent freedom, and save a sliver of hope for dessert!" exclaimed Roadkill. "And we hate that!"

"Hate!" "Fail!" "Hate Fail!" they said, nodding their heads in agreement with each other and scowling in disagreement with me.

"Reverend Roadkill is right!" said one. "Nobody can tell us what to think!" said another. The others said; "Roadkill is totally right!" "Two Mittens up!" "10 mittens!" "Infinite mittens!" "Infinite Mittens and w1n!"

"Sorry," this long-haired, bearded man in a dirty white robe named Pope Ratsass whispered to me, "but we must hate you on principle alone. Nothing personal." Then loudly he said, "I give Reverend Roadkill five mittens!"

"FIVE MITTENS?!" said the group all together. "Isn't five that old smelly Erisian number?" "Isn't that from that old smelly hippie Principia Discordia?"

"ALL CONDEMNATION TO FOOLS AND TOOLS!!" said the group as they held up their stones. I mean their rocks, not their private parts. I was totally terrified they'd start throwing them at me! That's not the way I like getting stoned. I wished I really could fly like Peter Pan and I did in the story so I could zip out of there. But then I saw they were all looking at the long-haired man in the white robe.

The man made the Discordian peace sign and said, "Peace." Somehow, I knew that was totally the wrong thing for him to say. I ran away like a mouse in a cat house!




Prisoner Number Six is the patron saint of the HR Discordians. You know, the guy who said he was a free man not a number? Only, like, he escaped!

[LMNO]

Let them who have ears, hear.








I SAID, LET THEM WHO--- oh, never mind.

[Doktor Howl]

Rev Roadkill.   

[Doktor Howl]

Also, this was written by one of Uncle BadTouch's drones:  http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Reverend_Loveshade

She's mentioned on the first page.

[Cramulus]

yeah, it's still hilarious though. 

He face was furrowed with angry scowls and crevices so deep you could use them to hide butcher knives.

also, I somehow got grouped in with the pinealist/rutabaga crowd! 

"I'm professor cramalot"  he said, bowing.   "Have an Erister Egg Pie!"   he rose up and threw one at me. Fortunately by now I was used to dodging things thrown by Discordians, and caught it. He scratched his head with a green plastic hand and said, "Say, no one's ever done that before,"   and went back to putting up a poster upside down.

[hooplala]

Fortunately the only people who pay attention to Unncyclopedia are those who edit the pages.

[LMNO]

Anyone want to write up the Pinealists and the Really Real Discordians for Realness?

[hooplala]

Minnie Rae's Uncyclopedia page is titled "Preteen Slut"... sure sounds like Uncle BadTouch.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hahahahaha oh, the smell of butthurt in the morning!

[hooplala]

How much do we want to bet that "Minnie Rae" and the Uncyclopedia editor Miley Spears are the same person... what is with the Uncle BadTouch crowd and Miley Cyrus?

[Doktor Howl]

How much do we want to bet that "Minnie Rae" and the Uncyclopedia editor Miley Spears are the same person... what is with the Uncle BadTouch crowd and Miley Cyrus?

Uncle BadTouch likes to diddle kids, that's what.

[hooplala]

How much do we want to bet that "Minnie Rae" and the Uncyclopedia editor Miley Spears are the same person... what is with the Uncle BadTouch crowd and Miley Cyrus?

Uncle BadTouch likes to diddle kids, that's what.

Right.  I forgot for a moment there.

[AFK]

How much do we want to bet that "Minnie Rae" and the Uncyclopedia editor Miley Spears are the same person... what is with the Uncle BadTouch crowd and Miley Cyrus?

Considering the racy new video she just released, they're going to be tied up for awhile.

RWHN,
Only knows about the racy new video because it was a headline story on MSNBC.com yesterday. 

[Doktor Howl]

How much do we want to bet that "Minnie Rae" and the Uncyclopedia editor Miley Spears are the same person... what is with the Uncle BadTouch crowd and Miley Cyrus?

Considering the racy new video she just released, they're going to be tied up for awhile.

RWHN,
Only knows about the racy new video because it was a headline story on MSNBC.com yesterday. 

I was wondering where he was.  I thought maybe there was a new Kid Bop DVD out.

[the last yatto]