Vampire runs for Governor

[Cramulus]

I am here today to tell you about Johnathan Sharkey, one of Eris' strangest children.

http://scifiwire.com/2010/03/self-described-vampire-to.php

Sharkey, a self-described vampire who'd previously announced plans to run for governor of Minnesota on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans ticket, has called off that campaign, even though Minnesota seems like a state suited to eclectic candidates. After all, it sent a former professional wrestler to the statehouse, didn't it?

But Minnesota's loss will be Florida's gain, because Sharkey has now set his political sights on the Sunshine State, according to citypages.

"Instead of running for Governor of MN, I will now run in Florida as a Republican for probably a nation position. I have unfinished business in Tampa Bay, too," said Sharkey in his announcement. "I intend on seeking support from my fellow Republicans in the House and Senate to pass federal laws to address child protection and harsh criminal punishment upon those who abuse their children."

This guy is such a great character! Truly living the American Dream.

Under his iron fisted reign, terrorists will be punished by being impaled on wooden stakes and displayed in public.

from wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon_Sharkey

On July 7, 2009, Sharkey was extradited to Marion County, IN and jailed at Marion County Jail II (CCA)on 2 counts of D Felony Intimidation in which he is alleged to have threatened a Marion County Judge by typing allegedly threatening emails or other documents on a Speedway Indiana Public Library computer. Specifically, he was alleged to have stated "I promise this Court while I am executing [Judge David]Certo his family will violate one of the offenses punishable by death, and I will then execute his loved ones as punishment. From the YOUNGERST [sic] (baby) to the oldest."

there's a documentary about the guy, called Impaler.

the trailer is here: http://www.impalerthemovie.com/


Obligatory: LOL FLORIDA

[Not Red Ame]

LOL Sharkey, he's such a character.  I was planning on voting for him in his last campaign but nasty business about a criminal record or somesuch nonsense prevented that from taking place.  He wants to start as governor and eventually go on to presidency... and then the world.  Do you think america is ready for a vampire in office?  Would you support legislation guaranteeing equal rights to vampiric americans?

[LMNO]

Only if they sparkle.

[AFK]

Fuck it.  I'd vote for him.  Why the hell not?

[Richter]

I keep thinking this thread is "Vampire Nuns for Governor"

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

He wants to run in FLORIDA???
With all the old people, "good ol boys" and gigantic superstitious spanish population???


Good luck, sucker.
This place would eat his sorry ass alive. Not to mention what Grayson would have to say. He already called Cheney a vampire and meant it.
It won't happen.

[Suu]

He wants to run in FLORIDA???
With all the old people, "good ol boys" and gigantic superstitious spanish population???


Good luck, sucker.
This place would eat his sorry ass alive. Not to mention what Grayson would have to say. He already called Cheney a vampire and meant it.
It won't happen.

But...



SEE?!!

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Oh I agree with him.
But the self proclaimed one just won't make it.

he'll be run out on a rail

[Thurnez Isa]

I wouldn't vote for him
vampires... witches and pagans are lame

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

I wonder what he would do if elected.

In fact... I wonder if he realizes that he's not actually a vampire.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

AHAHA! Vampire in the SUNSHINE state!

[Jasper]

The scary question is this:  Would electing this guy, or Sarah Palin, result in a hastier apocalypse?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

palin.

[Jasper]

  Y'ask a scary question, y'get a scary answer...