The Thing That Dok Built

[Doktor Howl]

Good call.  Someone could fall off and hurt themselves.

You have to put safety first.  Nobody wants to be the next OSHA video.

[BadBeast]

After all, you don't want it getting all out of control, and smashing the windows, and ending up "Penetralia Caninus Bobbitus" 

[Doktor Howl]

After all, you don't want it getting all out of control, and smashing the windows, and ending up "Penetralia Caninus Bobbitus" 

I have an excuse!   

[Richter]

Remember Klaus, Dok?

Forklifts are damn dangerous, we know that, and I for the large part blame boredom and frustration.  DOing things safe jsut doesn't OCCUR to people pressured to do a job fast, or people who get bored.  It usually takes awhile though, but Klaus hit jsut about every mistake his first day out, with predictable results.  
It was a little different, him beign a German native and all.  No OSHA over there.  
We used to write back and forth in high school, did I ever tell you that?  EMail pen - pals, back when email was still soemthign new and special.  He'd talk about his love of skateboarding, the books he'd read, all that sort of thing.  I still want to stomp the morbid fucker who kept filming him instead of stepping in that day, Klaus might still be around.  

It was a fuckign snuff film by the end of the day.  Klaus had a warehouse tech still impaled screaming on each fork, as his headless body drove them off into the sunset.  I don't know why the fuckign producer didn't have a latex clad cadre waiting to come out and fist his neck - hole while moaning "ya.  ya." jsut a little too deep.  Seriously, Klaus deserved better.

[Doktor Howl]

Remember Klaus, Dok?

Forklifts are damn dangerous, we know that, and I for the large part blame boredom and frustration.  DOing things safe jsut doesn't OCCUR to people pressured to do a job fast, or people who get bored.  It usually takes awhile though, but Klaus hit jsut about every mistake his first day out, with predictable results.  
It was a little different, him beign a German native and all.  No OSHA over there.  
We used to write back and forth in high school, did I ever tell you that?  EMail pen - pals, back when email was still soemthign new and special.  He'd talk about his love of skateboarding, the books he'd read, all that sort of thing.  I still want to stomp the morbid fucker who kept filming him instead of stepping in that day, Klaus might still be around.  

It was a fuckign snuff film by the end of the day.  Klaus had a warehouse tech still impaled screaming on each fork, as his headless body drove them off into the sunset.  I don't know why the fuckign producer didn't have a latex clad cadre waiting to come out and fist his neck - hole while moaning "ya.  ya." jsut a little too deep.  Seriously, Klaus deserved better.

Now my electricians think I've lost my mind.

Dok,
Laughing fit to bust.

[Richter]

It's a film that actually exisits too, as you may know, Dok.  If by chance you haven't seen it, ask the youtube for "Forklift Driver Klaus"  (It's Stappelerfurher Klaus or something in German.)  (Also, LOL Stapler-Furher.  Evokes images of Cram running a facist revolution, dramatic billboard images, and slogans of pranking dissobedience.  Not to imply bad on Cram or say he'd ever start a REICHGASM, but it's a funny thought.)

I mentioned Klaus was a skater, right?  There was one thing we never figured out. One of his emails went on about how he loves skateboarding on "Bowels".  We figured he meant "Bowls", or twisty, turny concrete formations made specifically for intersting riding.  Seeing his body count in that video though, we start to wonder. 

The rest of my World Culture class from back then, they knew Klaus too, from the emails.  We all don't talk much.  When we do, I tried to tell them the news about Klaus, and if they knew any more.  They all just shut up.  It's hard to hear and all, and I may be the one from our graduating class more people want a piece of, but jeez, fill a brother in! 

Maybe they jsut don't want to dwell on Klaus ending like that, poor guy.  Guess if my classmates can't bear to think, I won't bring it up to them.  Some may go back to their Brazilian soccer fanaticism, others to their coke, and the rest to (near as I can tell) their work at a Portugese figging parlor.  People change Dok, same way as they don't.

[Doktor Howl]

Good times, good times.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

 
Oh man, this thing had me cackling when it was going on.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh man, this thing had me cackling when it was going on.

I was enjoying myself.

But Freeky, Enabler, and TGG won't let me have cactus anymore.

[Richter]

I remember the contraption ebing built, but "Bob" as my witness, I had no idea I wrote any of that!

[Freeky]

OHGAWD MAYONAISE!


MAYONAISE!!!!!

[Eater of Clowns]

OHGAWD MAYONAISE!


MAYONAISE!!!!!

I switched to miracle whip after reading this thread, but then the tanginess just made it so much worse.

[Freeky]

OHGAWD MAYONAISE!


MAYONAISE!!!!!

I switched to miracle whip after reading this thread, but then the tanginess just made it so much worse.

[Richter]

Some things are used for lube which lube should never be...

[BadBeast]

Oh man, this thing had me cackling when it was going on.

I was enjoying myself.

But Freeky, Enabler, and TGG won't let me have cactus anymore.

I bet they will if you let them have some too. For science.