He wasn't who he thought he was.

[Freeky]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

Nonsense.  As far as I can tell, the contents of the bag evaporated.

Don't make me get the doweling, boyo.

SEE?  SHE MAKES ME DO BAD SHIT UNDER THREAT OF VIOLENCE!

But I'm being nice about this. I could always get the meat hammer, if you'd prefer.

[Doktor Howl]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

Nonsense.  As far as I can tell, the contents of the bag evaporated.

Don't make me get the doweling, boyo.

SEE?  SHE MAKES ME DO BAD SHIT UNDER THREAT OF VIOLENCE!

But I'm being nice about this. I could always get the meat hammer, if you'd prefer.

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

[Freeky]

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

Didn't realize you enjoyed it when I whacked you with it the other day.


I mean, did you really? Spiky side and everything?

[Doktor Howl]

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

Didn't realize you enjoyed it when I whacked you with it the other day.


I mean, did you really? Spiky side and everything?

I've been told I have strange tastes...But fuck those people, they are lesser mortals, and don't deal with the awful stresses that frequently destroy my mood and my underpance.

[Freeky]

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

Didn't realize you enjoyed it when I whacked you with it the other day.


I mean, did you really? Spiky side and everything?

I've been told I have strange tastes...But fuck those people, they are lesser mortals, and don't deal with the awful stresses that frequently destroy my mood and my underpance.

Urgh.

Maybe I just have to hit harder.

[Doktor Howl]

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

Didn't realize you enjoyed it when I whacked you with it the other day.


I mean, did you really? Spiky side and everything?

I've been told I have strange tastes...But fuck those people, they are lesser mortals, and don't deal with the awful stresses that frequently destroy my mood and my underpance.

Urgh.

Maybe I just have to hit harder.

Yes, please.

[Freeky]

SEE?  THEN SHE SHAMELESSY ATTEMPTS TO SEDUCE ME!

Didn't realize you enjoyed it when I whacked you with it the other day.


I mean, did you really? Spiky side and everything?

I've been told I have strange tastes...But fuck those people, they are lesser mortals, and don't deal with the awful stresses that frequently destroy my mood and my underpance.

Urgh.

Maybe I just have to hit harder.

Yes, please.

.  .  .  .

You know what? I don't care if it gets you off, it makes me feel better.

AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[LMNO]

Also known as "win-win".

[Freeky]

But it'll only encourage him!

[Doktor Howl]

But it'll only encourage him!

Like I need encouraging.



Freeky is too young for Roger, when it comes to relationships/sex/etc, but not too young to pound me in the junk with a meat hammer.

I'd normally hire a midget for that sort of thing, but they're in short supply.

[LMNO]

Call the Tooth Fairy.



YOU know who I'm talking about...

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Oh dear lord..... 

Sometimes, y'all scare me and sometimes, eh well, I guess I'm as much of a "freak" as the next member here!

I need to move to Tucson, y'all are having too much fucking fun without me!  Dammit!

[Freeky]

Oh dear lord..... 

Sometimes, y'all scare me and sometimes, eh well, I guess I'm as much of a "freak" as the next member here!

I need to move to Tucson, y'all are having too much fucking fun without me!  Dammit!

Eeeeeheeeheeheheehee!

Yes.... All is going according to plan...

[Doktor Howl]

Oh dear lord..... 

Sometimes, y'all scare me and sometimes, eh well, I guess I'm as much of a "freak" as the next member here!

I need to move to Tucson, y'all are having too much fucking fun without me!  Dammit!

Eeeeeheeeheeheheehee!

Yes.... All is going according to plan...

MWAHAHAHA...er, behave yourself, Freeky.

And LMNO, that shit is over with.  I swore a vow.

[LMNO]

Well shit, you best find yo'self a woman, because that thing ain't gonna milk itself.