THE NIGEL AND CAINAD FRUIT APPRECIATION THREAD

[Suu]

and for Suu... well the entire point of the toast sandwich was the Stilton of course. BUT!! Maybe you're not allergic to goat cheese? Cause in that case I have another awesome recipe which has the blueberry jam, soft goat cheese, walnuts and fresh spinach leaves (inna baguette, I had it, but anything works). Which is also great. And if you're allergic to walnuts, they are optional-ish. But a bit of strong tasting cheese isn't.

I'm starving now!!!!!

[Kurt Christ]

BLACKBERRIES

AND THEIR PREMATURELY RIPENING COUSINS, THE DEWBERRIES

ARE WEEDS. MOTHERFUCKING DELICIOUS WEEDS. I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN BE TOO LAZY TO MAINTAIN A GARDEN, AND BOOM! NATURE GIVES ME FREE PIE FILLING. WE ALSO MADE DEWBERRY JAM, WHICH WE USE ON BISCUITS AND ON ICE CREAM.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

BLACKBERRIES

AND THEIR PREMATURELY RIPENING COUSINS, THE DEWBERRIES

ARE WEEDS. MOTHERFUCKING DELICIOUS WEEDS. I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN BE TOO LAZY TO MAINTAIN A GARDEN, AND BOOM! NATURE GIVES ME FREE PIE FILLING. WE ALSO MADE DEWBERRY JAM, WHICH WE USE ON BISCUITS AND ON ICE CREAM.

[Cainad (dec.)]

HEY

YOU BUTTWEEVILS ON PAGE THREE POSTING ABOUT VEGETABLES

THIS IS A FUCKING FRUIT THREAD

YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE FISH LIQUOR APPRECIATION ASSHOLE CLUB IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT VEGETABLES


god damn it now you've got me pissed off



Look at this fucking abomination. It's spelled wrong and the little neon-colored turds taste like a chemical refinery more than fruit.


ON A LIGHTER AND MORE CHEERY FUCKING NOTE



GRAPEFRUITS

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HERE? GRAPEFRUIT IS NOT ONLY A MORE SOUR, BITTER ALTERNATIVE TO ORANGES FOR BITTER ASSHOLES LIKE MYSELF, BUT IT IS ALSO MENTIONED IN HUNTER S. THOMPSON'S FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS. I THINK GRAPEFRUIT PRETTY MUCH SPEAKS FOR ITSELF WITHOUT ME EVEN HAVING TO SWEAR TOO MUCH

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

HOLY TWATWAFFLING FUCKBOTS AT A PRETZEL STAND WHAT IS THIS SHIT?



I'LL TELL YOU; IT'S A FUCKING CANTALOUPE. THAT'S RIGHT, A MELON THE SIZE OF YOUR DOGNOGGLING HEAD, ONLY FULL OF SWEET, DELICIOUS MELON-MEAT

SWEET BABY JESUS ON A TOBOGGAN, JUST CUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER IN HALF AND SCOOP OUT THE SEEDS AND PULP AND THEN CARVE THAT BAD BOY UP AND JAM IT INTO YOUR GAPING PIEHOLE UNTIL YOU CAN BARELY GET YOUR JAW CLOSED AND SUCK ON IT UNTIL THE PULPY GOODNESS SLIDES DOWN YOUR THROAT LIKE THE MUSKY JISM OF GOD HIMSELF, IF GOD EJACULATED MELONS

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BE GOD'S MELON-SUCKING WHORE IF IT MEANS YOU GET TO EAT THIS

AND IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FAIRY PRINCESS DOING A PANTYWAISTED NAMBY PAMBY DIET OR SOME SHIT, THESE DIVINE SPERMATAZOAS ONLY HAVE ABOUT 150 CALORIES IN THE WHOLE FUCKING THING SO EAT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN STAND, YOU BODY-DYSMORPHIC-DISORDER-HAVING CRAPWEASEL.

[Pæs]

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU "KNOW" ABOUT MELONS.

THIS TWISTED LITTLE BITCH APPEARS THE BE THE PRODUCT OF A HEDGEHOG FUCKING A BLOWFISH AND ARRANGING SURROGACY WITH SOME KIND OF CUCUMBER VINE. JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS FOUL ABNORMALITY IS GIVING ME THE FEAR. IN MY PANCE. THIS DERANGED MOTHERFUCKER WILL SPIKE YOU IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT IT THE WRONG WAY. IT'S LIKE A BULL, BUT INSTEAD OF HAVING A COW ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ITS HORNS, IT JUST HAS MORE HORNS. OH, AND IN THE MIDDLE? DELICIOUS FUCKING FRUIT.

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE THIS FUCKER ON?
SLAP ON SOME GLOVES, JIMMY, AND GET WRESTLING. TEAR IT IN HALF WITH YOUR BARE HANDS THEN HOLD IT OVER YOUR FACE AND SQUEEZE IT. GELATINOUS GREEN GOO WILL SPLATTER ALL OVER YOU, AND TEMPORALLY BLIND YOU SO YOU CAN'T TELL WHETHER SOMEONE JUST SNEEZED ON YOU OR IF YOU SOMEHOW FOUND YOURSELF IN THE CENTER OF AN INTERGALACTIC BUKKAKE CIRCLE

[Freeky]

THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT, DOOD?!

[Remington]

This newb is GOING PLACES!

[Cramulus]

LOOK AT THIS FRUIT
HE IS WHO I AM VISUALIZING AS I AM READING YOUR INCESSANT FRUITLOVING POSTS

THIS SPAG LOOKS LIKE HE WENT UP TO A CHICK AT THIS HALLOWEEN PARTY AND WAS LIKE,
"HEY BABY LOOK HOW BIG MY BANANA PENIS IS"
OR SOME CORNY SHIT LIKE THAT
YES YOU HAVE A BIG DICK, I GET IT
LUCKILY PENIS SIZE IS A WOMAN'S FIRST AND ONLY CRITERIA FOR SLEEPING WITH A DUDE
SO THIS GUY GETS LAID EVERY NIGHT

I A LITTLE FUCKING JEALOUS, FRANKLY

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

This newb is GOING PLACES!

FERCA= PAESIOR, not n00b, new account.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

MOTHERFUCKING FIGS!!!

OH YEAH, I SAID FIGS.  WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT THOSE FUCKING NEWTONS OR "FRUIT AND CAKE" WE'RE TALKING FIGS...

BOILED, BAKED, GRILLED, ROASTED, TOASTED OR JAMMED THESE FUCKERS ARE AWESOME.  THEY PLAY WELL WITH OTHER FRUITS SO YOU CAN MIX AND MATCH FOR DELICIOUSNESS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!



SO WHILE YOU THINK YOU MAY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT FIGS THAT YOU WANT TO KNOW, YOU ARE WRONG!!!

FIGS CONTAIN VITAMIN A, VITAMIN B1, VITAMIN B2, CALCIUM, IRON, PHOSPHORUS, MANGANESE, SODIUM, POTASSIUM AND CHLORINE AND YOU THINK BECAUSE OF ALL THAT BULLSHIT THEY TASTE BAD??  OH FUCK NO, THEY HAVE SO MUCH NATURAL SWEETNESS YOUR DENTIST HAS THEM ON HIS NO EAT LIST.

JUST LOOK AT THIS....



DON'T YOU WANT TO GET A SPOON AND CRAM THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?

FIGS MOTHERFUCKER!!!  YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE AND SHOW SOME LOVE AND RESPECT!!!

[Zyzyx]

HEY

YOU BUTTWEEVILS ON PAGE THREE POSTING ABOUT VEGETABLES

THIS IS A FUCKING FRUIT THREAD

YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE FISH LIQUOR APPRECIATION ASSHOLE CLUB IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT VEGETABLES


god damn it now you've got me pissed off



Look at this fucking abomination. It's spelled wrong and the little neon-colored turds taste like a chemical refinery more than fruit.


ON A LIGHTER AND MORE CHEERY FUCKING NOTE



GRAPEFRUITS

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HERE? GRAPEFRUIT IS NOT ONLY A MORE SOUR, BITTER ALTERNATIVE TO ORANGES FOR BITTER ASSHOLES LIKE MYSELF, BUT IT IS ALSO MENTIONED IN HUNTER S. THOMPSON'S FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS. I THINK GRAPEFRUIT PRETTY MUCH SPEAKS FOR ITSELF WITHOUT ME EVEN HAVING TO SWEAR TOO MUCH

Oh Eris, I screwed up... I thought they were oranges, but then I took one bite and realized that they were fucking GRAPEFRUITS 

[Freeky]

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU "KNOW" ABOUT MELONS.

THIS TWISTED LITTLE BITCH APPEARS THE BE THE PRODUCT OF A HEDGEHOG FUCKING A BLOWFISH AND ARRANGING SURROGACY WITH SOME KIND OF CUCUMBER VINE. JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS FOUL ABNORMALITY IS GIVING ME THE FEAR. IN MY PANCE. THIS DERANGED MOTHERFUCKER WILL SPIKE YOU IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT IT THE WRONG WAY. IT'S LIKE A BULL, BUT INSTEAD OF HAVING A COW ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ITS HORNS, IT JUST HAS MORE HORNS. OH, AND IN THE MIDDLE? DELICIOUS FUCKING FRUIT.

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE THIS FUCKER ON?
SLAP ON SOME GLOVES, JIMMY, AND GET WRESTLING. TEAR IT IN HALF WITH YOUR BARE HANDS THEN HOLD IT OVER YOUR FACE AND SQUEEZE IT. GELATINOUS GREEN GOO WILL SPLATTER ALL OVER YOU, AND TEMPORALLY BLIND YOU SO YOU CAN'T TELL WHETHER SOMEONE JUST SNEEZED ON YOU OR IF YOU SOMEHOW FOUND YOURSELF IN THE CENTER OF AN INTERGALACTIC BUKKAKE CIRCLE

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE FUCKING SEXY ASS BITCH FRUITS ARE!

[Pæs]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horned_melon

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]