Dear Kai, elaborating on our earlier conversation...

[Doktor Howl]

Stop stressing, man.  Stop worrying about your perceived lack of ambition and your supposed lack of drive.

Stop worrying what you are going to do with your life, or what you want to be.  Fuck, I'm in early middle age, and I don't have any idea what I want to do with my life.  Hell, not so long ago, I'd be the oldest man in my fucking shithole village, venerated for the obvious wisdom that let me reach this advanced age, and I STILL wouldn't know what the fuck I wanted to do with my life.

Why?  Because if I decided that, I'd being a human doing instead of a human being.  I'd be slotted, catagorized, and petrified into one behavior pattern.

You're told that's the way you're supposed to be, that your education is leading up to a finish line, right?  Well, there's only one finish line, and the prize is a casket.  The POINT of your education, at this particular moment in time, is to enjoy getting that education.  There really IS a brass ring, Kai, but it's not later, it's now, you just have to grab it.

Enjoy today.  Tomorrow will fall on top of you when it's good and damn ready to.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Kai]

Dok,

Heres the issue.

If I can't see the reason for doing something beyond living day to day, I don't feel the energy I need to actually /push forward/.

That's what depression is, Dok. I'm not talking about the medical condition, but the very real feeling of being in a rut and needing to get out.

When my car is in a rut, what do I do? Well, I could call someone to tow me out with a winch. But that only works some of the time, when someone I trust is available to physically yank me out. I could just /sit/ here, and wait it out, hoping the car will magically levitate out of the ditch eventually.

Or, I could gun the engine. I might even have some chains in the trunk and some fuel booster under my seat. Now that's what I'm talking about. Ready and efficient, always on hand.

Vision and purpose work in a similar way. Vision is like those tire chains, helping me grip the road of life and keep on moving. Purpose is metaphysical fuel booster, getting me out of the ruts when I get stuck in them and keeping me from being stuck for too long.

And yeah, maybe I'm gonna veer off and take a completely different highway a couple hours down, but if I'm not on the road in the FIRST place, how the hell am I gonna get there at all?

And when I'm riding along smoothly, missing the ruts, the road feels good, the wind feels good. A little planning goes a long way.

Okay for now,

~Kai

[Doktor Howl]

I'm not saying not to plan ahead and take steps necessary to get things done, Kai.  I'm just saying not to defer enjoyment til some future nebulous point in time when you'll be "done".

[Adios]

I'm not saying not to plan ahead and take steps necessary to get things done, Kai.  I'm just saying not to defer enjoyment til some future nebulous point in time when you'll be "done".

This. All we have is today.

[Doktor Howl]

I'm not saying not to plan ahead and take steps necessary to get things done, Kai.  I'm just saying not to defer enjoyment til some future nebulous point in time when you'll be "done".

This. All we have is today.

Like I once said to Nigel, "Tomorrow is the enemy."

[LMNO]

I don't know Kai's original quandry, but I can Identify with the feeling of his last post.

There are times, like the past few weeks, where there was no inspiration.  Not musically, not writing, not even cooking.  It was just a blank space, where there once were ideas and sparks.  It's upsetting and a little frightening, because no one really knows where those sparks come from, or if they'll come back.

But, they do.  You might not know when, but they come back.  So the advice is the same one throughout the ages, "and this, too, shall pass."

[Doktor Howl]

I don't know Kai's original quandry, but I can Identify with the feeling of his last post.

There are times, like the past few weeks, where there was no inspiration.  Not musically, not writing, not even cooking.  It was just a blank space, where there once were ideas and sparks.  It's upsetting and a little frightening, because no one really knows where those sparks come from, or if they'll come back.

But, they do.  You might not know when, but they come back.  So the advice is the same one throughout the ages, "and this, too, shall pass."

That's what I say when I say grace over vindaloo.   

But, yeah, you hit ruts, or dead spots.

Then you listen to Nigel, and go for a fucking walk.  No cell phones or electronics.  Then you tell yourself a story.

Then you get back to it.

[LMNO]

So the advice is the same one throughout the ages, "and this, too, shall pass."

That's what I say when I say grace over vindaloo.   

[Adios]

No one can stay on an unlimited creative high. Hills and valleys are the norm, not the exception. The valleys allow us to regroup, allows our thoughts to catch up and maybe shed some light on a different aspect.

Without the lows I think we would all go mad and never accomplish anything, ever.

[Kai]

I don't know Kai's original quandry, but I can Identify with the feeling of his last post.

There are times, like the past few weeks, where there was no inspiration.  Not musically, not writing, not even cooking.  It was just a blank space, where there once were ideas and sparks.  It's upsetting and a little frightening, because no one really knows where those sparks come from, or if they'll come back.

But, they do.  You might not know when, but they come back.  So the advice is the same one throughout the ages, "and this, too, shall pass."

Except I've been in this rut a long time, LMNO. And I realized that I wasn't getting back on the road till I changed something.

[BadBeast]

So change something. It doesn't have to be a big thing, or even directly rut related. Change a small routine, or start a new one. Often that's all we need to get our whole process rolling again. The direction's not important, just get rolling again.

[NotPublished]

Do you know what your after Kai?

[Kai]

Do you know what your after Kai?

Trying to figure that out. Getting closer though.