Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey annoyance experts

[Cain]

No, that's really the title of this piece of news.

http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2010/0730/Monkeys-hate-flying-squirrels-report-monkey-annoyance-experts

And even the subject:

Japanese macaques will completely flip out when presented with flying squirrels, a new study in monkey-antagonism has found. The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

Let me repeat

The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

Researchers have observed small monkeys called Japanese macaques going bananas at the sight of a flying squirrel.

This riled-up response is probably just a false alarm, with the monkeys mistaking the squirrel for a predatory bird. On the other hand, male macaques – some of whom give chase and even attack a harmless rodent – might be trying to impress females in their troop.

Although this tough-guy motive was not proved in a new study, "it is possible that adult or sub-adult male monkeys may be 'showing off' their fitness" as potential mates, said Kenji Onishi, an assistant professor of behavioral sciences at Osaka University and lead author of the paper being published in the current issue of the journal Primate Research.

Biologists and psychologists have long studied macaques' complex social interactions for insights into human evolution and behavior.

However, much remains unknown about how macaques get along (or not) with other creatures. Better documentation of such encounters could reveal more about macaque societies as well as that of our shared primate forebears.

"Human evolution occurred alongside primate evolution from a common mammalian ancestor," Onishi told LiveScience. "Therefore, it is important to learn the evolution of primates in understanding the previous steps in human evolution."

Fuck, if I could somehow combine flying squirrels, advanced monkey enragement techniques, pigeons and the Monty Hall Problem, I could stomp this planet flat in a week or less.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

VIVAT SQUIRRELS!

[Thurnez Isa]

Somehow I have this weird feeling this "research" started with a bunch of biology master students getting drunk in their university one Friday night

[Cramulus]

The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

FINALLY!

I feel like I've been wasting my time with the traditional methods.

[LMNO]

Ze Uber-Troll, eet iz zoon finished.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This made me laugh the hardest of anything today!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Monkey-annoyance experts.

Think on that, if you don't already hate your job.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Whomever wrote that was almost definitely giggling uncontrollably as they typed.

[Rumckle]

Researchers have observed small monkeys called Japanese macaques going bananas at the sight of a flying squirrel.