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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Candy ass vampire

Started by I_Kicked_Kennedy, August 08, 2010, 02:32:55 AM

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I_Kicked_Kennedy

Just now I hear a clicking and squeaky noise in the heater. At first I thought "piece of crap." Then I realized it's hot as hell, and the heater isn't on. So I crack open the heater and see a mouse. I think "Awww... Poor little guy..." and try to get him out so I can put him outside.

The mouse flew into the kitchen.

Instinctually, I yell "OH FICK!" because in that split second I couldn't decide between fuck and frick. I grab a shoe, swung and knocked him out of the air. But then he's on the stairs leading to the front door, Trying to get off his back. I lunged, fell down the stairs, ass over tea kettle, and still manage to thwack the bastard flat. Tossed him outside and my wife demands to know why I woke her up with my Fick and thwacks and clunk clunk down the stairs. I also got yelled at for using one of my good shoes.

So why is it I was totally cool with the mouse, and when I saw it was a bat, I instantly went apebatshit?
If I had a million dollars, I'd put it all in a sensible mutual fund.

I_Kicked_Kennedy

OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: I left my smokes in the car.
If I had a million dollars, I'd put it all in a sensible mutual fund.

Nast

You...smashed it with your shoe?

:cry:
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

I_Kicked_Kennedy

Quote from: Nast on August 08, 2010, 03:04:10 AM
You...smashed it with your shoe?

:cry:


Well, it's kinda hard to tickle it with a shoe.

Seriously, though... I am regretting it, but only because I'm in a John Peters version of a Hitchcock film.
If I had a million dollars, I'd put it all in a sensible mutual fund.

Nawaxo

QuoteSo why is it I was totally cool with the mouse, and when I saw it was a bat, I instantly went apebatshit?

Because flying stuff can get into your clothes and your mouth in a moment and eat you from the inside.

The Johnny

Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on August 08, 2010, 02:59:27 AM
OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: I left my smokes in the car.

They are feeding on its corpse - and you are next. RUAN!
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

BabylonHoruv

bats are cute, and they eat mosquitos.  Mice meanwhile are cute and eat your food, and poop in your house, and carry disease.  I prefer bats.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

Sir Squid Diddimus

This story made me laugh and sad

Prince Glittersnatch III

Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on August 08, 2010, 02:59:27 AM
OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: I left my smokes in the car.

You fool, you killed the ambassador. He was a messenger of peace and you smashed him with your shoe. Youve made yourself some powerful enemies son.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506 <---worst human being to ever live.

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Other%20Pagan%20Mumbo-Jumbo/discordianism.htm <----Learn the truth behind Discordianism

Quote from: Aleister Growly on September 04, 2010, 04:08:37 AM
Glittersnatch would be a rather unfortunate condition, if a halfway decent troll name.

Quote from: GIGGLES on June 16, 2011, 10:24:05 PM
AORTAL SEX MADES MY DICK HARD AS FUCK!