ITT: Terrible Advice

[Cuddlefish]

Having problems? Want to make them worse? Or, is everything ok, but you can't help yourself from making a mess out of everything? Well, Cuddlefish is here to help. Ask me anything, and I'll do my best to give you the absolute worst advice available! Trust me. I do this all the time, and not only am I the TC, I'm also a client!

[Dysnomia]

Cuddlefish:

my date is standing me up tonight.  What do I do?

[Cainad (dec.)]

My university changed the schedule of one of my required classes an hour earlier in the day. It now starts at 7:25 am on Mon, Wed, and Fri.

How do I cope with this?

[Cuddlefish]

Cuddlefish:

my date is standing me up tonight.  What do I do?

Drink a handle bottle of cheap vodka. Go to his house. Wait outside 'till he arrives. When he gets home, let the spirit move you.

[Cuddlefish]

My university changed the schedule of one of my required classes an hour earlier in the day. It now starts at 7:25 am on Mon, Wed, and Fri.

How do I cope with this?

Drugs.

[Rumckle]

Many of my good friends are moving to Europe, I however am halfway through a degree and unemployed. What should I do?



@Cainad:
7:25!?

I thought I had it bad having classes at 830

[Cuddlefish]

Many of my good friends are moving to Europe, I however am halfway through a degree and unemployed. What should I do?

Well, it seems to me, you are halfway there. If you're unemployed, just quit school, then you'll be all freed up to go to Europe (not sure what makes you want to go there in the first place. Never been myself, but I get the feeling they have a very unamerican way of life out there...).

Do your parents have money? Con them out of it and go. If not, doctors have a lot of money. Con a doctor. Or a lawyer. Just make sure you can quickly find a job when you get out there. I hear kidnapping tourists and harvesting there organs on the black market is pretty profitable, not to mentioned vastly underregulated.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

I find myself sexually aroused by this,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related

[LordOfganza]

I find this video very amusing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=encZArh2wrY&feature=related

[Cuddlefish]

I find myself sexually aroused by this,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related

Embrace your sexuality.

[Cuddlefish]

I find this video very amusing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=encZArh2wrY&feature=related

I don't see a problem here 

[Salty]

I want to murder my car and piss on it's corpse after I'm done with it.
What's the best way of going about this?

[Cuddlefish]

I want to murder my car and piss on it's corpse after I'm done with it.
What's the best way of going about this?

Suicide by cop after a high speed car chase. Your bladder will release itself at death.

[Kurt Christ]

I'm moving back into my college dorm tomorrow morning. How do I make this less boring?

[Cuddlefish]

I'm moving back into my college dorm tomorrow morning. How do I make this less boring?

I find that drinking, drugs and/or violence tend to make things more exciting.