Author Topic: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:  (Read 11341 times)

Doktor Howl

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James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.
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Jenne

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Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(

Doktor Howl

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Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(

Me too.  Because one knows that "moon" rhymes with "orange", and the other wrote incredibly depressing and vapid novels that made me want to shoot myself in the face with a bazooka.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Evil doesn't work without good people. Good people will do the most repugnant, nasty shit for what they think are "the right reasons"

Doktor Howl

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Little known fact:  The Martian invaders weren't killed off by bacteria, but by Emily Dickenson's poetry.  She was, of course, dead by then, but that doesn't seem to have slowed her down.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Evil doesn't work without good people. Good people will do the most repugnant, nasty shit for what they think are "the right reasons"

Nephew Twiddleton

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Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(

Me too.  Because one knows that "moon" rhymes with "orange", and the other wrote incredibly depressing and vapid novels that made me want to shoot myself in the face with a bazooka.


Yeah. Bronte made me want to stab myself in the temple. Instead I opted to wing it on the test.
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Jasper

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I'm actually inclined to agree with a lot of those.  I suppose some of them hold some allure for certain tastes, but never should they have been "classical" writers with cultural sway.

AFK

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I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 
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Doktor Howl

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I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 

Poe was okay as a novelist.

But with only one exception (The Raven), he should have had a toe pulled off for every poem he wrote.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Evil doesn't work without good people. Good people will do the most repugnant, nasty shit for what they think are "the right reasons"

Nephew Twiddleton

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I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 

For me they assigned the Bronte sisters as much as Shakespeare.
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Cramulus

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Byron? really? I could go either way on his writing, but by all accounts, he was a hell of a character. He was the first modern style celebrity. Most fictional anti-heroes (like batman or the vampire lestat) are based off of him.


I am 100% with you on Dickinson. Haven't read a sufficient amount of the others.

Jenne

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*Jenne slinks off, dejected, as her girlhood literary heroes are obliterated into dust*

Actually, I read more Agatha Christie, Conan Doyle and Dorothy L Sayers than anything until h.s.  And even through h.s.

Doktor Howl

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Byron? really? I could go either way on his writing, but by all accounts, he was a hell of a character. He was the first modern style celebrity. Most fictional anti-heroes (like batman or the vampire lestat) are based off of him.


I am 100% with you on Dickinson. Haven't read a sufficient amount of the others.

So he was like Paris Hilton with less opportunities to bathe.

And if he inspired Lestat, he should be turfed up and sprayed onto a landfill.
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Evil doesn't work without good people. Good people will do the most repugnant, nasty shit for what they think are "the right reasons"

Jenne

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Well, what's cool about Byron is that he got Shelley to write that fantastic piece of simple yet poignant fiction based on a conversation about Darwin, Frankenstein.

He did write some wankage, I agree, but the LIFE, man, the LIFE.

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Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much, and I usually hate reading the "classics". His style indulges a certain passion of mine that I can't really explain, and his way of writing things that seem a little "off" while also being so very "right on" with a certain conception I have of what he's describing, which affirms the conception of mine that I always felt was "off", compared to others'.
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Doktor Howl

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Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much,

Do you also hold your cigarettes backwards?
"Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid."
~ The Good Reverend

Evil doesn't work without good people. Good people will do the most repugnant, nasty shit for what they think are "the right reasons"