The Rogue's Gallery

[Cain]

As anyone who has actually visited the Greek islands knows, John of Patmos went insane waiting for a ferry to get him off the island and away from the insufferable British tourists asking "is this Ayia Napa?  Bit pants, isn't it?" and puking chips and beer all over each other.

[BadBeast]

That must have been extremely. The British are bad enough when we're at home. Only a British Tourist would go to Cyprus, arm himself with a big pink gutful of Lager & Chips, & abuse the locals
before spraying vomit over a poor half crazed holy man. "Blahdy foriegn muck" he says.  Before wiping more puke on poor John's plain habit. Arsenal Weekend Casuals, on the piss, all confident, because they aren't likely to bump into any Tottenham, or Millwall supporters.  However, by the the time they get to the Hotel Bar, they're so drunk they think they're a proper firm, instaed of Arsenal fans. They'r'e still wearing  Arsenal colours, And singing terrace chants. Walk into the Bar, (and this could only happen to Arsenal fans, abroad)  who just happened to be hosting a Galataseray UltrAslan convention. Oops. That was a holiday they'll never forget. (Except for Puker. Who can't remember anything for 10 days)

Drunk on the Plane out there, drunker on the way to the Hotel. Then it all goes blank, then Puker spends the next 13 days in traction, before being deported, and delivered back to Blighty. Being Arsenal, his crew ran like fuck, ended up  swimming for it when chased to the end of the pier.

Except Puker. Got caught because he was so fat. 9 broken ribs. Skull fractures,  His jaw's still wired up, and he's on crutches. Lost his job, because you can't lay Tarmac with a shattered pelvis. Is starting to hate chicken soup, and the sniggers from the Tottenham fans, who all saw the clip You Tube, footage of another London crew, getting pasted by the Ultras. Depressing. Come on you Reds! 
Next season, Puker will be supporting Millwall.   

So was John of Patmos, a Galataseray fan? What do you thnk? Answers on a postcard, to  "Popeye,  the Chelsea fan, lives in The Vatican". . . . . .    Winner is the first one back to the Hotel, with a large Doner for me, and a crate of Stellas.

[Adios]

I think you should occasionally target the innocent.  Like Jenne.

Dok Howl
Classification: Mad Science Troll, with occasional shift to Rage Troll
Suspected in the Deaths of: TGRR, Number Six, Mahatma Gandhi, Friedrich Nietzsche, God/Santa Claus.
Known Alts: Satan, The Incredible Hulk, Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Behavior: Corruption of the innocent, torture and murder of Noobs, Aggravated Mad Science, Berserk Fury, Recurring Nemesis.
Stage of Troll Development: See Revelations 6:7-8.

Yes, John saw Dok Howl coming. Why do you think he went mad?

Saw him coming, observed him doing something,   *Hides*  something, *furtive* cactus, vomit, *ascension*.
Then thinks, ponders. *Digs* Aaah!  *Chews, waits*  The Fear™   John runs, until he finds something to write with. Then descends into a muttering, scribbling, 3 day psychotic break, during which he utterly his brain, predicts Black Sabbath, and Iron Maiden, 911, and funnily enough, Simon Cowell.

The hastily scrawled account of what Dok's  Cactus drop did to John's troubled mind, resonated through the Centuries, coalesced in the art of Pieter Breughal, instilled the Embryonic version of  The Fear™ in the fertile tilth of the  European collective unconscience, one consequence of which, was Europe purging itself of heretical Religious Cunts in the 16th Century. All this John saw, but the thing his mind finally cracked under the strain of, were the Vuvuzelas. No mind should have to endure Dok, Cactus, and Vuvuzelas simultaeneously. The knowledge that all three exist contiguously is hard enough to cope with.

There were attempts to get this book published, as a prophetic work in it's own right, but it ended up in a Compendium of Desert Fairy Tales, by Authors unknown. And on still nights, in the Arizona Desert, sometimes you can hear Dok Howl, howl in the night, as the Dreadful knowledge of the Horrible Truth™ becomes to much to bear. Especially since he accidently the Bowel of Temporal Displacement, by showing off with Vindaloo.

St John, the Divine, spent the rest of his life trying to solve the one burning questiion that eluded him.
"Why does my middle finger smell of Puppehs"?
(He never did find out, and I'm sure Dok's not telling)

WIN