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I HAVE NOT MASTURBATED IN 3 WEEKS...

Started by East Coast Hustle, August 30, 2010, 01:05:49 PM

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East Coast Hustle

#15
August 31, 2010, 02:57:10 AM
No privacy. I have bunkmate.

:(
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Don Coyote

#16
August 31, 2010, 02:58:08 AM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on August 31, 2010, 02:57:10 AM
No privacy. I have bunkmate.

:(

Curtain? Use the head?

Nast

#17
August 31, 2010, 02:59:47 AM
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

East Coast Hustle

#18
August 31, 2010, 03:10:00 AM
head is shared by 2 cabins, and only has a lock on one of the doors.

believe me, if there was a way I'd have found it.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Nast

#19
August 31, 2010, 03:12:01 AM
Summon mermaids to take you to their undersea pleasure palaces.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Rumckle

#20
August 31, 2010, 03:12:12 AM
So I guess there is no secret sauce then?
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Brotep

#21
August 31, 2010, 03:36:50 AM
Janitorial closet?

Jenne

#22
August 31, 2010, 03:42:04 AM
GO SWIMMING.

East Coast Hustle

#23
August 31, 2010, 04:33:47 AM
can't. I made caffeinated sharks.

also, boat cruising speed is around 10 knots. I can't swim 10 knots.

also also, not sure doing that in saltwater is a great idea.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Kurt Christ

#24
August 31, 2010, 05:48:49 AM
Politely say to your bunkmate, "Get the fuck out of here, I'm about to masturbate." Your subtle hint should give him a clue that he doesn't want to be there.

That's how my roommate and I found private time last year. Of course, we'd known each other for three years, not three weeks, so the bluntness wasn't exactly surprising.
Formerly known as the Space Pope (then I was excommunicated), Father Kurt Christ (I was deemed unfit to raise children, spiritual or otherwise), and Vartox (the speedo was starting to chafe)

Triple Zero

#25
August 31, 2010, 10:33:18 AM
GET OUT OF HERE LIKE RIGHT NOW OR I'M ABOUT TO EXPLODE BUKKAKE ALL OVER YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEAAAAJAAAJAAAJAJAAJAJAJAJAJAAAAaaahhhehhh hrm.

... cigarette?
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Rumckle

#26
August 31, 2010, 10:47:22 AM
"Hey, I'm about to masturbate, can you give me a hand?"
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Cain

#27
August 31, 2010, 10:48:32 AM
Rule 34 on ECH/Bunkmate slashfic

East Coast Hustle

#28
August 31, 2010, 11:35:53 AM
Quote from: Vartox on August 31, 2010, 05:48:49 AM
Politely say to your bunkmate, "Get the fuck out of here, I'm about to masturbate." Your subtle hint should give him a clue that he doesn't want to be there.

That's how my roommate and I found private time last year. Of course, we'd known each other for three years, not three weeks, so the bluntness wasn't exactly surprising.

Bunkmate is one of my best friends/former roommates and would love to take the opportunity to NOT leave in an attempt to squick me out.

Which might not actually squick me out, but sure would kill the mood. Anyway, this isn't a thread where you give me advice, it's a thread where I use the superpowers conferred by my pressurized scrotum to answer YOUR questions.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Dalek

#29
August 31, 2010, 12:55:04 PM
Maybe he's getting laid so much he doesn't need to.
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