I'm tripping on cough syrup, ask me anything.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah.

I realize that people live their relationships, open or otherwise, in many different ways. I get extremely attached to my lovers, but I realize that other people in open relationships may cultivate their relationships differently. However, my experiences with the "swinger" world have been creepy bordering on horrific. Swingers and "polys" are vastly different in their approach to sexual intimacy, IME.

I agree. We presumed (falsly) that you met people, got to know them and then maybe had an orgy or something. Apparently, you meet people fuck them and then occasionally catch their name or contact them in the future. Also, apparently there is a presumption that if you're there YOU WILL FUCKING ANYTHING... literally.

We were used to occasionally ending up in some crazy intimate situation with friends that we loved and were close to. I kid you not, we walked in the door and within 15 minutes three guys had hit her up for oral sex... like "Oh hey, can I get you a drink? Wanna suck my cock?"

We joined one of the online services and figured maybe meeting individuals not at a club would work better... so we met a couple, went to have dinner at their place (seemed nice) and in between excusing themselves to stick powder up their nose, they made it clear that they 'expected' sex that night.... cause 'Why else would we be having dinner with strangers?'

Me, I'm just sticking with surprising adventures with close friends from now on.



I think Central Ohio may be part of the problem with my experience with swingers....

I don't think it's your location... that's been pretty much my experience too. On top of that, a local girl tried to organize a sort of support group for bi-poly relationships, and was really explicit about how it was NOT a pick-up group, but of course when me and my two guys went to the meet & greet it was swarming with swingers looking to wife swap or for three-ways, and also NONE of the men there were bi except for mine. I had several couples ask me if I'd go home with them before I'd even finished my first drink.

It was skeezy, it was creepy, and it's so far away from what I'm about that I have no further interest in meeting anyone in the "poly community" here ever again, because I think the only people who try to form a "poly community" are actually swingers, who are the opposite of polyamorous IMO. There are different ways to conduct an open relationship, and that's one I want to stay far, far away from. I like my sex with emotional connection.

Oh, and that poor organizer girl gave up on her support group idea for the same reasons.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

For me, the emotional connection isn't a requirement, necessarily.  Most of my best experiences have been with close friends, but if I met someone that was cool, interesting, cute... sex can be fun. For me, the ick factor was the expectation that if you were there, you were there for any and all sexual partners that happened to walk by.

I think I expected a club atmosphere where you might hit it off with someone on the dance floor and go from there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For me, the emotional connection isn't a requirement, necessarily.  Most of my best experiences have been with close friends, but if I met someone that was cool, interesting, cute... sex can be fun. For me, the ick factor was the expectation that if you were there, you were there for any and all sexual partners that happened to walk by.

I think I expected a club atmosphere where you might hit it off with someone on the dance floor and go from there.

Yeah, that was the specific thing that creeped me out. The "you're here to fuck, so of course you'll fuck anyone" vibe. Obviously, it works for some people. Personally, it makes my skin crawl. It feels oddly predatory. That was another thing about that scene... so many of the women seemed to be kind of strange little burned out husks without much personality beyond being creepily sexual in front of their partner. I don't know if you experienced anything similar, but it seriously wierded me out.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I don't think it's your location... that's been pretty much my experience too. On top of that, a local girl tried to organize a sort of support group for bi-poly relationships, and was really explicit about how it was NOT a pick-up group, but of course when me and my two guys went to the meet & greet it was swarming with swingers looking to wife swap or for three-ways, and also NONE of the men there were bi except for mine. I had several couples ask me if I'd go home with them before I'd even finished my first drink.

It was skeezy, it was creepy, and it's so far away from what I'm about that I have no further interest in meeting anyone in the "poly community" here ever again, because I think the only people who try to form a "poly community" are actually swingers, who are the opposite of polyamorous IMO. There are different ways to conduct an open relationship, and that's one I want to stay far, far away from. I like my sex with emotional connection.

Oh, and that poor organizer girl gave up on her support group idea for the same reasons.

I was always one of the people who mocked the whole emotional connection thing but it does, in fact, make a difference in sex. Cue the crow pie. Being with BF and GF has been an incredibly illuminating experience so far.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, it makes the whole difference to me. I can masturbate all by myself... I don't need another person's body to do it on.

[Kai]

I don't think it's your location... that's been pretty much my experience too. On top of that, a local girl tried to organize a sort of support group for bi-poly relationships, and was really explicit about how it was NOT a pick-up group, but of course when me and my two guys went to the meet & greet it was swarming with swingers looking to wife swap or for three-ways, and also NONE of the men there were bi except for mine. I had several couples ask me if I'd go home with them before I'd even finished my first drink.

It was skeezy, it was creepy, and it's so far away from what I'm about that I have no further interest in meeting anyone in the "poly community" here ever again, because I think the only people who try to form a "poly community" are actually swingers, who are the opposite of polyamorous IMO. There are different ways to conduct an open relationship, and that's one I want to stay far, far away from. I like my sex with emotional connection.

Oh, and that poor organizer girl gave up on her support group idea for the same reasons.

Jesus christ ugh.

I feel (from experience) that I function best when in multiple relationships, and the above experience is just EWWWWWWW.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Yeah, it makes the whole difference to me. I can masturbate all by myself... I don't need another person's body to do it on.

I don't need one, but sometimes its fun.

[Salty]

I dated a woman who claimed to be a swinger. For her it certainly wasn't about the emotional connection, but it seemed that it wasn't about the hot action either. For her it was all about identifying herself as a swinger. She imagined herself to be this swarthy temptress who would make anyone's jaw drop with her 21st century sexual audacity and kink.

In practice it ended up being little more than meat banging into meat.

[Kai]

I dated a woman who claimed to be a swinger. For her it certainly wasn't about the emotional connection, but it seemed that it wasn't about the hot action either. For her it was all about identifying herself as a swinger. She imagined herself to be this swarthy temptress who would make anyone's jaw drop with her 21st century sexual audacity and kink.

In practice it ended up being little more than meat banging into meat.

Its politics for sex!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I dated a woman who claimed to be a swinger. For her it certainly wasn't about the emotional connection, but it seemed that it wasn't about the hot action either. For her it was all about identifying herself as a swinger. She imagined herself to be this swarthy temptress who would make anyone's jaw drop with her 21st century sexual audacity and kink.

In practice it ended up being little more than meat banging into meat.

There seem to be a lot of variation in people that identify as swingers. I've met some of the couples like Nigel mentioned where the woman seems like she is about fried, met some like Alty's experience... met several that just seem desperate and lonely. And all of those have pros and cons... however, the only kind of 'swingers' I really ever get pissed at are the two-faced hypocrites.

Example: One couple, the guy is only comfortable with having other women involved. He and another woman and his GF = OK; He and another woman - his GF = OK; His woman and another man in any way shape or form = OMGZ I CAN"T DEAL WITH IT, I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT SPECIAL!

Makes me want to slap him for being a douche and her for being with him.  

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Swingers, and people who just fuck anyone at random, worry me. I require proof of being disease free, in the form of a clinic visit and test results, before anyone gets in my pants. I provide the same for the owners of the pants I am attempting to get into.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, it makes the whole difference to me. I can masturbate all by myself... I don't need another person's body to do it on.

I don't need one, but sometimes its fun.

I agree that it's fun to have sex with other people, but for me the amount of fun is pretty contingent on having an emotional connection with them. I don't have to be in love, but I like, you know, to like them, and make eye contact and stuff. If they're just a big meaty dildo to me, or I'm nothing more than an animate sex doll, I'll pass.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Yeah, it makes the whole difference to me. I can masturbate all by myself... I don't need another person's body to do it on.

I don't need one, but sometimes its fun.

I agree that it's fun to have sex with other people, but for me the amount of fun is pretty contingent on having an emotional connection with them. I don't have to be in love, but I like, you know, to like them, and make eye contact and stuff. If they're just a big meaty dildo to me, or I'm nothing more than an animate sex doll, I'll pass.

For me it  depends on the quality of the sex doll 

[BadBeast]

When you put a cigarette out, the nicotine actually clears your system, in about 15 minutes, leaving virtually no trace. It's just really good at making it's presence absence felt. And all your little neurons are so needy, and whiny, you only notice it's even been there, when you start to feel it's absence. Nicotine isn't much of a health risk anyway. It's the buckets full of bitumine you have to strain through your lungs in order to get enough Nicotine to satisfy the withdrawal that's the real problem. But nicotine is the one that gets the blame, every time. I tried patches for a while, but they worked out more expensive, and not nearly as satisfying, so I weaned myself off them with cigarettes. Now I'm fine.

But to answer, you have a Tar Baby in each lung, about 5 inches tall, and they look like little naked Robinson's Golliwogs. But stickier.They love nicotine too, but find it difficult to follow through the cells of lungy intake. They still try though, and can clog the fuckers up with road tar. Even that heavy, chesty feeling on cold winter mornings is reassuring, because you know there is activity enough in there to appreciate your first one of the day.

I've heard Doctors say that nicotine is the single most addictive substance there is, but I'm not so sure. I mean, I've smoked for 30 years, and in all that time, I never found myself kneeling on the piss soaked floor of Marylebone Station Toilets, sucking old mens wrinkled dicks, for enough money to buy half an ounce of Baccy. Just sayin'.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

When you put a cigarette out, the nicotine actually clears your system, in about 15 minutes, leaving virtually no trace. It's just really good at making it's presence absence felt. And all your little neurons are so needy, and whiny, you only notice it's even been there, when you start to feel it's absence. Nicotine isn't much of a health risk anyway. It's the buckets full of bitumine you have to strain through your lungs in order to get enough Nicotine to satisfy the withdrawal that's the real problem. But nicotine is the one that gets the blame, every time. I tried patches for a while, but they worked out more expensive, and not nearly as satisfying, so I weaned myself off them with cigarettes. Now I'm fine.

But to answer, you have a Tar Baby in each lung, about 5 inches tall, and they look like little naked Robinson's Golliwogs. But stickier.They love nicotine too, but find it difficult to follow through the cells of lungy intake. They still try though, and can clog the fuckers up with road tar. Even that heavy, chesty feeling on cold winter mornings is reassuring, because you know there is activity enough in there to appreciate your first one of the day.

I've heard Doctors say that nicotine is the single most addictive substance there is, but I'm not so sure. I mean, I've smoked for 30 years, and in all that time, I never found myself kneeling on the piss soaked floor of Marylebone Station Toilets, sucking old mens wrinkled dicks, for enough money to buy half an ounce of Baccy. Just sayin'.