your second sentence hit me in just the right spot
I love the sudden clarity of realizing that this is YOUR life and god fucking damn it you're going to make it all the utopia you can. I dig it so hard.
If every word you heard had been a lie, would it have mattered,
I had this dream once, probably from watching the movie Waking Life too many times in a row, in which I was talking to this dream character
and I became a little bit conscious that this was my dream
and I said to her "What does it feel like to be a character in a dream?"
and she said "Oh so you figured out that you're dreaming."
"Yeah," I said.
and she was frustrated, "So what?" she asked, "So are you going to start flying or shooting everybody or whatever? Are you going to treat this like it doesn't mean anything, like this is just a ride for you?"
I guess this is a property of human psychology. We can't treat two worlds as real at once. It's difficult to resolve science and religion - I resolve it by realizing that they serve different functions, and one can't be any more "right" than the other than Algebra can be "real". It's something we created to describe certain things and answer certain questions. Take only what you need from it.