Who's to blame?

[Placid Dingo]

I am.

That's the answer I like to try to go with, wherever possible. I'm to blame. It's my fault. It's my fault that so and so won the election. Or that I missed the bus when it didn't come past my stop.

This is usually a mostly false narrative to develop. It is a useful one though; provided you recognise that it's false (otherwise you'll get into a nasty spiral of self loathing).

If you're responsible for an outcome, you've developed an attitude that your actions have impacted. When anylising events through this frame we look through ideas of 'what did I do wrong', 'what could I do better' etc?

What we end up with are a series of narratives developed around the theme of 'how can i impact positively on my universe,' which we can then turn to.

Blaming the media, the church, the man, the machine, is just another way of giving away your power.

[The Johnny]

Dont you think that by over-inflating your sense of importance and influence you are distorting your view on reality?

Sure, you evade the trappings of apathy, but just to fall for a megalomaniacal one.

[Phox]

Dont you think that by over-inflating your sense of importance and influence you are distorting your view on reality?

Sure, you evade the trappings of apathy, but just to fall for a megalomaniacal one.

The real question is: is there a middle path here, or must you content yourself with a lesser of two evils?

[Penumbral]

I think it is wise to remember that always coping out of responsibility will only lead to a belief that the world is against you.  

I have a personal downfall where I tend to disregard anything that I feel is out of my control. Things like world politics, A friend's ex-girlfriend's death, or Other's opinions simply slide past my emotional filters. However things that I perceive are within my control I take a very hard if they fall flat.

I think its important to keep expectations in mind. You can only blame yourself if something goes "wrong". Things can only go "wrong" if you are tied up in the idea that there is a "right" outcome you are looking for.

[The Johnny]

Dont you think that by over-inflating your sense of importance and influence you are distorting your view on reality?

Sure, you evade the trappings of apathy, but just to fall for a megalomaniacal one.

The real question is: is there a middle path here, or must you content yourself with a lesser of two evils?

Oh, there sure is, but its hard to achieve.

Isnt a healthy balance the hardest thing to accomplish?

[The Johnny]

For example:

Blaming the media, the church, the man, the machine, is just another way of giving away your power.

I personally think that these institutions dont have the blame in themselves, its the people that constitute them and those that allow them to keep existing.

Now, am i blameless? No.

How much of the resposability is mine? Divide 100% by the number of the total population.

I think that change cannot be brought forward in a Hollywood style like idk, OMG IM NEO ILL DODGE BULLETS AND PWN THE MACHINE and the millions of examples that are just stroking the ego of every single wannabe messiah.

The change is in the education that our fellow monkeys receive are given - National school system? good luck changing that. Showing thru example? have fun trying getting others to play along.

Take pollution as an example. I separate my trash so that it can be recycled, but very few do so too and also, theres industrial megacorporations that dump easily the ammount equivalent to cities waste. The answer would be to show thru example, because you wont be able to coerce others to do so and also to make legislation so that said megacorporations dont dump such wastes. Or are you gonna go to the city dump and DO IT ON YOUR OWN JUST LIKE -insert current fashionable Hollywood hero-?

[Doktor Howl]

I am.

That's the answer I like to try to go with, wherever possible. I'm to blame. It's my fault. It's my fault that so and so won the election. Or that I missed the bus when it didn't come past my stop.

This is usually a mostly false narrative to develop. It is a useful one though; provided you recognise that it's false (otherwise you'll get into a nasty spiral of self loathing).

If you're responsible for an outcome, you've developed an attitude that your actions have impacted. When anylising events through this frame we look through ideas of 'what did I do wrong', 'what could I do better' etc?

What we end up with are a series of narratives developed around the theme of 'how can i impact positively on my universe,' which we can then turn to.

Blaming the media, the church, the man, the machine, is just another way of giving away your power.

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I am.

That's the answer I like to try to go with, wherever possible. I'm to blame. It's my fault. It's my fault that so and so won the election. Or that I missed the bus when it didn't come past my stop.

This is usually a mostly false narrative to develop. It is a useful one though; provided you recognise that it's false (otherwise you'll get into a nasty spiral of self loathing).

If you're responsible for an outcome, you've developed an attitude that your actions have impacted. When anylising events through this frame we look through ideas of 'what did I do wrong', 'what could I do better' etc?

What we end up with are a series of narratives developed around the theme of 'how can i impact positively on my universe,' which we can then turn to.

Blaming the media, the church, the man, the machine, is just another way of giving away your power.

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

Sure, but egomaniacs are a lot more fun than limp fatalists.

[Placid Dingo]

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

Agreed. The point I wanted to make was just that by responding to difficulties in a 'how am I part of this problem and how can I change that' way, you start to develop useful patterns. Like I tried to say before, it's not more true, but it is more useful.

And also, when I come accross certain things where the answer is always 'can't, nothing, can't, nothing' or the actions I'd need to take are too extreme or difficult, it helps me develop a certain detachment from that issue, with more focus on areas where I have influence.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

Agreed. The point I wanted to make was just that by responding to difficulties in a 'how am I part of this problem and how can I change that' way, you start to develop useful patterns. Like I tried to say before, it's not more true, but it is more useful.

And also, when I come accross certain things where the answer is always 'can't, nothing, can't, nothing' or the actions I'd need to take are too extreme or difficult, it helps me develop a certain detachment from that issue, with more focus on areas where I have influence.

But if your consistently shot down by forces that ARE out of your control you start to develop the idea that your useless and you cant do anything.
Being able to recognize when something is your fault and when something isnt your fault is much more useful then just going all or nothing either way.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I am.

That's the answer I like to try to go with, wherever possible. I'm to blame. It's my fault. It's my fault that so and so won the election. Or that I missed the bus when it didn't come past my stop.

This is usually a mostly false narrative to develop. It is a useful one though; provided you recognise that it's false (otherwise you'll get into a nasty spiral of self loathing).

If you're responsible for an outcome, you've developed an attitude that your actions have impacted. When anylising events through this frame we look through ideas of 'what did I do wrong', 'what could I do better' etc?

What we end up with are a series of narratives developed around the theme of 'how can i impact positively on my universe,' which we can then turn to.

Blaming the media, the church, the man, the machine, is just another way of giving away your power.

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

THIS!

I think it is wise to remember that always coping out of responsibility will only lead to a belief that the world is against you.  

I have a personal downfall where I tend to disregard anything that I feel is out of my control. Things like world politics, A friend's ex-girlfriend's death, or Other's opinions simply slide past my emotional filters. However things that I perceive are within my control I take a very hard if they fall flat.  

I think its important to keep expectations in mind. You can only blame yourself if something goes "wrong". Things can only go "wrong" if you are tied up in the idea that there is a "right" outcome you are looking for.

That Pen, is one of the most insightful things I think you've posted and something I have to work on in my own life.  I don't think it's ego with some people as much as they are such complete type A's they cannot relinquish control of anything.  Even things out of their control to begin with. Does that make sense?

[Doktor Howl]

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

Agreed. The point I wanted to make was just that by responding to difficulties in a 'how am I part of this problem and how can I change that' way, you start to develop useful patterns. Like I tried to say before, it's not more true, but it is more useful.

And also, when I come accross certain things where the answer is always 'can't, nothing, can't, nothing' or the actions I'd need to take are too extreme or difficult, it helps me develop a certain detachment from that issue, with more focus on areas where I have influence.

Yeah, I was just taking exception to the idea that the bus not stopping is your fault.

[Adios]

Blarg.  Egomania is no more the truth than denying any responsibility is.

Agreed. The point I wanted to make was just that by responding to difficulties in a 'how am I part of this problem and how can I change that' way, you start to develop useful patterns. Like I tried to say before, it's not more true, but it is more useful.

And also, when I come accross certain things where the answer is always 'can't, nothing, can't, nothing' or the actions I'd need to take are too extreme or difficult, it helps me develop a certain detachment from that issue, with more focus on areas where I have influence.

Yeah, I was just taking exception to the idea that the bus not stopping is your fault.

Besides, my wife says everything is my fault, so get off my soapbox!