ECH, in answer to your question...

[Doktor Howl]

...NO.  It is not legally "self defense" to pound on a hipster, hippie, or "conservopagan" for "being in the same city as you".

You could probably argue lapse of mental faculties, though.

[East Coast Hustle]

I think you misunderstood the question. I was more interested in whether or not that would be a valid defense if I stand at the ferry landing and toss them into the Elizabeth River when they get off the boat from Norfolk for attempting to be in the same city as me.

The one good thing about Portsmouth is that those types don't survive long in the wild. Everybody is packing here.

[East Coast Hustle]

Imagine if you split Tucson in half along socioeconomic lines and then put it in the middle of a swamp. Portsmouth would be the southside.

[Penumbral]

                                     Hey ghuys. Just checking out the web thought I would stop here for a minute.           
                                                                   //



                                            \\
                              Anyone have some PDR?

[Doktor Howl]

Imagine if you split Tucson in half along socioeconomic lines and then put it in the middle of a swamp. Portsmouth would be the southside.

A swamp?  With water?

[Adios]

Raw sewage, maybe?

[Doktor Howl]

Raw sewage, maybe?

No, it's just that we don't have any water.  When I was in Providence, we walked over the river, and I started complaining to Richter about all that fucking water they were just allowing to run into the ocean.  It was wasteful as hell.

That's the problem with you lowlanders.  You have too much nature, and you don't appreciate it.

[East Coast Hustle]

actually, yeah. The absolute longest I can stare out the porthole at the Elizabeth River before a large piece of floating fecal matter goes by is 10 minutes.

[Adios]

Raw sewage, maybe?

No, it's just that we don't have any water.  When I was in Providence, we walked over the river, and I started complaining to Richter about all that fucking water they were just allowing to run into the ocean.  It was wasteful as hell.

That's the problem with you lowlanders.  You have too much nature, and you don't appreciate it.

[East Coast Hustle]

and the liquid here is only "water" in that it is wet and boats float on top of it. It is not fit for drinking, bathing, or any other use that puts it in direct contact with either humans or the inhabitants of Virginia.

[Doktor Howl]

actually, yeah. The absolute longest I can stare out the porthole at the Elizabeth River before a large piece of floating fecal matter goes by is 10 minutes.

Our "rivers" are dry gulches for 9 months out of the year, then they're raging torrents full of rolling boulders, tree stumps, old cars, and homeless people.

[Adios]

and the liquid here is only "water" in that it is wet and boats float on top of it. It is not fit for drinking, bathing, or any other use that puts it in direct contact with either humans or the inhabitants of Virginia.

I don't believe it. The Government™ told me this was all cleaned up.

[Doktor Howl]

and the liquid here is only "water" in that it is wet and boats float on top of it. It is not fit for drinking, bathing, or any other use that puts it in direct contact with either humans or the inhabitants of Virginia.

You exaggerate.  Virginians eat fucking LIMA BEANS.  And they LIKE IT.  A little toxic sludge wouldn't even slow them down.

[East Coast Hustle]

I think you misunderstood the question. I was more interested in whether or not that would be a valid defense if I stand at the ferry landing and toss them into the Elizabeth River when they get off the boat from Norfolk for attempting to be in the same city as me.

you still haven't answered my question, Doktor Lawyer.

[Doktor Howl]

I think you misunderstood the question. I was more interested in whether or not that would be a valid defense if I stand at the ferry landing and toss them into the Elizabeth River when they get off the boat from Norfolk for attempting to be in the same city as me.

you still haven't answered my question, Doktor Lawyer.

Same principle applies.  You'd have to use a diminished capacity defense, which ought to be easy.

It works for me.  The work week isn't even over yet, and I've threatened my colleagues with coyote semen 3 times already.

Pills here.