Hipsters fucking love the hurdy-gurdy

[Doktor Howl]

Vexation, of course, never has the balls to attack unless a half a dozen other people are.

I can't stand a fucking coward.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

[Doktor Howl]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Freaks =/= hipsters.




Incidentally, I only use the term "freak" as a compliment.

This.

And I think I should leave now.

Why?

Because I went from describing an evening that filled me with loathing, to having everyone ask me if they're a hipster and do I hate them.

Because my opinion on that evening, and the sorts of shitbags that made it so horrible, has apparently rendered me into the next incarnation of Lester Maddox.

You know well I couldn't care less if some people label me a hipster. I was just curious. I could un-ironically start calling myself a hipster. What would they think then?

And no, you're good, Roger.  

Oh, I am COMPLETELY in favor of people self-labeling as hipsters. People don't know what to do if you say you're a hipster. It short-circuits them, because hipsters hate hipsters and always deny being hipsters.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

[Doktor Howl]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

It also might be published in the newspaper, which would be worth it if only for the opportunity of inflicting on the public the horrible mental image of someone - or something - licking cheese sauce out of your back hair.

[Doktor Howl]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

It also might be published in the newspaper, which would be worth it if only for the opportunity of inflicting on the public the horrible mental image of someone - or something - licking cheese sauce out of your back hair.

That wouldn't be an issue any longer.  Nurse Enabler has - at great cost - won the first round of BW I.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

It also might be published in the newspaper, which would be worth it if only for the opportunity of inflicting on the public the horrible mental image of someone - or something - licking cheese sauce out of your back hair.

That wouldn't be an issue any longer.  Nurse Enabler has - at great cost - won the first round of BW I.

FOR NOW.

[Doktor Howl]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

It also might be published in the newspaper, which would be worth it if only for the opportunity of inflicting on the public the horrible mental image of someone - or something - licking cheese sauce out of your back hair.

That wouldn't be an issue any longer.  Nurse Enabler has - at great cost - won the first round of BW I.

FOR NOW.

Lazor for head, neck, and back = $1700.

I just happen to have that much.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Going back a few pages, Cram-

The beard thing is typically Mainer. As far as the flannel, I'm guessing that many Mainers do do that, but not the ones I have had extensive dealings with.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you seen how "hipsters" have now been subdivided into all these categories that basically includes jocks? Totally stupid. The way the word is being used now, not only is everybody a hipster, but hipsters like EVERYTHING. Unironically.

No, I haven't seen that.  I'm directing my wretched and vile hatred at a particular group, in revenge for what they subjected me to.  For example, if you play the ukelele and your name isn't Tiny Tim, you should be covered in butter and chives and be given to the CHUD under Portland.

Likewise, if you wear non-shaded, non-prescription glasses, or some goofy fucking flipped cap, you should be thrown in a settling pond, weighed down by a fixed-gear bike.

Hipster has a particular definition for me, "Hipster Classic", so to speak, and the next time I have to try to enjoy a Turkish coffee while one of them drones on and on about how "ironic" his pathetic little life is, I'm going to steal Richter's morning star and CLEANSE THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Fair enough.

I was traumatized, Nigel.  Even the decor was early Abba.  Richter had to forcibly restrain me from self-immolation using a Fondu burner.

Death by fondue! 

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

On the plus side, my corpse would be covered in cheesy goodness.

Leading to the plausible possibility of being posthumously licked clean.

I'm kind of okay with that.  I mean, I wouldn't be around for the horrible outraged police beatings that would follow.

It also might be published in the newspaper, which would be worth it if only for the opportunity of inflicting on the public the horrible mental image of someone - or something - licking cheese sauce out of your back hair.

That wouldn't be an issue any longer.  Nurse Enabler has - at great cost - won the first round of BW I.

FOR NOW.

Lazor for head, neck, and back = $1700.

I just happen to have that much.

OH, WOW. I don't even know what emotion to have.

[East Coast Hustle]

Going back a few pages, Cram-

The beard thing is typically Mainer. As far as the flannel, I'm guessing that many Mainers do do that, but not the ones I have had extensive dealings with.

we tend to worry more about whether or not the shirt is wool than what pattern it's decorated in, but many wool shirts end up being plaid.

[E.O.T.]

Ahh, the rewards of just being a hick.

DON'T

          you mean hickster?   

[Suu]

Alanis was ironic at the same time I was a scrub.