How to cook food in a hotel room

[Triple Zero]

I love this sort of thing:

http://www.wikihow.com/Cook-Food-in-a-Hotel-Room

[Jasper]

Wow!  An option so desperate and unpalatable that I would actually look forward to McDonalds as an alternative!

[Triple Zero]

unpalatable? how so? Seems pretty tasty to me. I'd give you desperate, though

I also seen a guy cook stuff on a coffee machine once, as a kind of performance cooking show parody. It really works. As long as you do a cleaning run first, of course. He could even fry an egg on the hotplate.

[Jasper]

The chicken recipe is what grossed me out.  That does not sound good.

[Triple Zero]

Hmmmm point. Seems I was reading but stopped paying attention near the end

The first ones are cool though. I gotta try crisping bacon wrapped in alu foil using an iron, even just for the novelty factor

[Richter]

No reason that the first couple SHOULD'NT work.  The way it escalates from simple to exotic, finishing with poaching chicken in the tepid "boiling" waters of a hotel coffee maker, I wonder.  The pacing could be designed to provide examples and build credibility, but it is at the same time reminiscent of a joke.  A joke with a punchline you don't get until you're doubled over in pain, evacuating every orifice as the maids scream terror in foreign tongues.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

The simplest solution is to get a hotel room with a microwave....

I've done grilled cheese with an iron in college.  It was gross and messy.

[Triple Zero]

No reason that the first couple SHOULD'NT work.  The way it escalates from simple to exotic, finishing with poaching chicken in the tepid "boiling" waters of a hotel coffee maker, I wonder.  The pacing could be designed to provide examples and build credibility, but it is at the same time reminiscent of a joke.  A joke with a punchline you don't get until you're doubled over in pain, evacuating every orifice as the maids scream terror in foreign tongues.

Well I agree it might not taste very good, but I think you're really exaggerating here

The heater element in a coffee maker produces nothing like tepid water, I haven't measured it (will do tomorrow when I make coffee again), but I'm guessing at 75-80 degrees Celsius, slightly above what comes out of my hot tap.

Chicken breast only needs 55C to cook to done (55 is for medium-rare steak, chicken is a bit lower even, but 55 is on the safe side).

And Salmonella doesn't materialize from thin air just because you didn't heat the chicken breast enough. It's either already on it or not. So if 75 degrees doesn't kill it off, then you're taking a risk, but it is by no means certain you'll get a high velocity punchline spray soup.

Recipe still doesn't seem very tasty at all, and if I absolutely had to prepare chicken breast in a coffee maker, I'd probably go about it in an entirely different way. Those temperatures sound perfectly suited for a stew, for instance

[Jasper]

You really trust your chicken, trip.

I don't like to eat chicken that hasn't been to the 80's C.

[Cainad (dec.)]

You really trust your chicken, trip.

I don't like to eat chicken that hasn't been to the 80's C.

It could be that the Netherland's chickens aren't raised in factory farms quite as filthy as what we're used to here in the US.

I would add that maybe the US is a little more paranoid about its chicken than it really needs to be, but then I remembered my trips to the CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE Ward of the hospital* shortly after eating undercooked chicken. They were... violent incidents.



*The CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE Ward can be found in any public bathroom stall.

[Jasper]

Yeah.  Even without actual bacteria in the chicken, I still feel sick if I eat it poached or undercooked at all.

And I like hamburgers rare.  I don't shy from rare meats.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Undercooked chicken from any source is potentially dangerous.  It is also gross!

[Jasper]

Yeah, what an epitaph too. 

"He died in a motel six from eating chicken cooked in the Mr. Coffee."

[Eater of Clowns]

Yeah, what an epitaph too. 

"He died in a motel six from eating chicken cooked in the Mr. Coffee."

I recently had the opportunity for a "He died from a burst spleen in a Go, Diego, Go moonbounce while wearing a tuxedo."

But honestly I think yours tops even that.

[Jasper]

It sounds like the end of a particularly dark Coen Brothers film, doesn't it?