Doktor Howl's Secret Enemies List, with commentary.

[Phox]

"I always think everything could be a trap.  That is why i am still alive!"
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Oh I see. The reason Dok doesn't give you his address is because you quote the Princess Bride. I understand now.

[Jasper]

The good news:  The strike against me is something I plan to fix pretty soon.

The bad news:  There are much better reasons to hate me.  

[Elder Iptuous]

Oh I see. The reason Dok doesn't give you his address is because you quote the Princess Bride. I understand now.

that happens to be a fantastic book/movie to quote from!
you understand nothing!

[Kai]

Okay, this is a great list, but I don't know a quarter of the people listed.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

"I always think everything could be a trap.  That is why i am still alive!"
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HUMPERDINK HUMPERDINK HUMPERDINK!!!!

I"M NOT LISTENING I'M NOT LISTENING!!!!!!""

See, I understand you Ippy.

Also yay! I made it onto the first page of hate! XDD

[BabylonHoruv]

Charley Brown:  Insults speed limit signs.

Babylon Horuv:  Uses "coitus" when "fuck" will do.  Also stole Chef's bit about Aztec Gods.

Ratatosk:  uses emotes wrong.

Enki:  Enki.

Kel:  Ignores bad WOMPs of her.

Cramulous:  Insufficient WOMPing.  Kicks cancer babies.  May be a self-loathing diabetic.

Khara:  Tells me not to do dumb things that seem like fun ahead of time.

Jenne:  Tells me not to do dumb things that seem like fun ahead of time.

Iason:  Mugs old ladies, beats retarded kids, bested me at ferret-legging.

More to follow.

Chef?

[Nast]

Wait, when did you offer to make me a henchman?

[Kurt Christ]

I'm glad you think so well of Vartox's elegant visage.

[Don Coyote]

Cudgel:  Changes his name too often.  Also, Welsh.

There is no Cudgel, and no Wales or whales either.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

you live in whales?

[Cain]

At the moment I only get to torment suburban children, sadly.  And I'm not even allowed to be inventive in that.  Thanks, state school system!  Oh how I long for the days when I could make a child run laps of the pitch "until I'm satisfied you've learn your lesson".  And then leave them to it while I do my shopping.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Cudgel:  Changes his name too often.  Also, Welsh.

There is no Cudgel, and no Wales or whales either.

What about wails?

[Disco Pickle]

Dancing Pickle:  Libertarian

I actually masturbated to a picture of Ayn Rand just this morning.

put THAT in your brain and 

[LMNO]

I'MMA CHARGIN' MY OBJECTIVISTS!

[Cramulus]

ROGER

here are the many reasons you are MY secret enemy

• Your workplace firewall puts china's to shame
• You don't belong in this setting. Your proper context is some Frank Frazetta painting, or the Dark Sun setting. (Tuscon = Athas??)
• Too much hair on your back, not enough up top. You're a human mullet.