Reality Safari - BATSHIT CANADA

[Cramulus]

I went on another Reality Safari last night back to hang out with the UFO people

it was one of the most insane 1.5 hour lectures I've ever been treated to.


this canadian woman gave a talk about .. I don't even know. About the beings that contacted her during a near death experience

and their plan for humanity

she's the chosen one who has a message for us about how to leave the world of duality and embrace perfect bliss and crystals or something

She hit nearly every bad new age stereotype in 30 minutes flat--

from crystals, to poorly understanding evolution, to VERY poorly understanding quantum physics but still using it as an explanation

We don't have a "soul" but a "soul seed", etc etc


and the best thing about these talks is that people in the audience object to her crazy interpretation of things, but they object on the basis of their own batshit ideas

this guy who looked and dressed precisely like Joe Friday raised his hand and was like, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PREMARITAL SEX AND OTHER INDULGENCES WHICH ARE DESTROYING OUR WORLD? PEOPLE ARE FORNICATING IN THE STREETS AND NOBODY EVEN CARES. MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM PROBABLY AREN'T EVEN AWARE OF THE TOPIC I'M RAVING ABOUT RIGHT NOW." ( he literally described it as "the topic I'm raving about right now.")


seriously, it was like listening to somebody talk about a seven year long acid trip. Parts of it were exactly like the revelations people tend to have on acid. And parts of it could have been direct reads from The Secret. I wish I had video recorded it, it would have sent you cats into FITS.

[Cramulus]

btw, here's the true nature of reality, as presented by Batshit Canadian Wizard


when you have negative emotions like greed, sadness, anger, and fear, that vibration is at about 300 megahertz.

when you have positive emotions like compassion, generosity, and love, that vibration is at about 800 megahertz.

For thousands of years, we've been dying and being reincarnated trying to complete a check list of experiences our soul ships need to have. The human body is just a suit that the soul wears so it can affect the universe and accumulate more experience points.

Now for thousands of years, we've needed negative stuff like Hitler so that people can have bad experiences. But there's good news - now almost all souls have already gotten those bad experiences out of the way, so we no longer need duality. The Extraterrestrials which are made of pure bliss and light are beckoning us to let go of negativity because we don't need it any more.

You see, we're about to make a quantum jump in consciousness. This is one of the great things that quantum physics has taught us, that when things reach a certain point, and they realize there's nothing else, they "jump" to a higher level or organization. Like if you take a petri dish with a bunch of amoeba in it -- on a long enough time line, the amoeba will do every possible thing that an amoeba can do -- at this point they will collectively say "Is this all there is?" and this question will propel them into the next stage of evolution.

They put this message into the earth's water supply so that it gets into our nervous systems. BTW there is a big bed of CRYSTALS right under England, and when the water resonates through those crystals it produces crop circles. That's why crop circles appear in england, that's just where the crystal resonance is occuring.

BTW do you know what crop circles are? They're actually musical notes, they're like a finger print left by that particular harmonic resonance.

[Cramulus]

BTW do you guys know what Attention Defect Disorder is?

So I was talking about the vibrations, right? The problem is that our universe is getting slower, most of us are only vibrating at about 300 MHz.. but a lot of people are being reincarnated from previous lives where they were full of light and bliss, moving at 800 MHz. So they get jammed into a 300MHZ world and they rattle like crazy, they can't handle how slowly everything is moving to them.

the ETs want us to get everybody's energy up to 800mhz. Some of us are going there, others will be left behind.

[Cramulus]

Another great moment from the evening:


Lecturer: One of the three rules that the aliens gave me was "Harm none." Not yourself, not other people, not ANYTHING! I don't even kill bugs, what's the point?

Audience Member: But you said you eat meat, right? Isn't that harming somebody?

Lecturer: Yes, but humans are omnivores.

Audience Member: So it's really like harm nobody unless they're food, right?

Lecturer: Before you can help others, you have to be comfortable with who you are. First you have to be able to say "I AM". Then you can say "WE CAN."




later...

Audience Member: Question. How can information be stored in water?

Lecturer: The aliens only show me visions of things. They don't explain the science.

[Penumbral]

Its actually kind of bothersome that my first response was, 'Well at least its not the craziest thing I have heard today.'

[Jasper]

That is thankfully the craziest thing I've heard all week.

[Remington]

Those crazy Canadians and their Universal Healthcare/Positive Cosmic Energy Crystals.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

My Other Body is a SOUL SHIP!

[Doktor Howl]

This is fucking awesome.  We only have body nazis and perverts, here. 

[Cain]

We have mono-gold bugs, crop circle enthusiasts, EU conspiracy theorist and Knights Templar freaks around here.  I went to a talk with two of my best friends one afternoon, it was probably the best £12 I ever spent (incidentally, the talk on crop circles was probably the most sane).

[Freeky]

This is fucking awesome.  We only have body nazis and perverts, here. 

I am pretty positive there are similar people at the Gem and Mineral show, Dok, if you can stand the press of idiots.

[Cain]

You know Cram, if you applied to work with the Air Force, they might pay you to go to meetings like this. 

[Cramulus]

  my buddy worked for the air force, at some point he was stationed in Delaware.. He told me that he was the guy who answers the phone if some nutjob called about paranormal activity or UFO sightings. My buddy said that the official protocol was to pretend like you were writing down whatever the nutjob was talking about and promise them that you'll deliver those notes to somebody important. Then when he gets off the phone you crumple it up and commence laughing.


ETA: link to the ladys' website, in case anybody's interested: hxxp://www.firethegrid.com/

[Doktor Howl]

This is fucking awesome.  We only have body nazis and perverts, here. 

I am pretty positive there are similar people at the Gem and Mineral show, Dok, if you can stand the press of idiots.

Remember the religion convention in the second Transmet trade?  Is that what you want?

[Freeky]

This is fucking awesome.  We only have body nazis and perverts, here. 

I am pretty positive there are similar people at the Gem and Mineral show, Dok, if you can stand the press of idiots.

Remember the religion convention in the second Transmet trade?  Is that what you want?

MAYBE.