ITT I BLOW OFF STEAM ABOUT MY JOB

[tyrannosaurus vex]

LOOK MOTHERFUCKER, I'm sorry you failed Kindergarten and they stuck you behind that big fancy fucking desk to punish you for being a moron. I'm also sorry you don't know how a FUCKING PRINTER WORKS. I've been here 6 times to make it print from the right tray and I get it working EVERY SINGLE TIME, then, 15 minutes later, you call back with WOOF WOOF! PRINTER NO WORKING!

So... here's my advice: shut the fuck up. And don't point your blow-hole at me, you fucking porpoise. Just jump through a hoop and eat some more tuna, you fuck. AND STOP PUSHING THE GOD DAMN WRONG FUCKING BUTTONS. If it says SETTINGS, PROPERTIES, OPTIONS, or for the love of Christ, ADVANCED... THEN CLICK AWAY, CLICK AWAY FAST because those words in your vocabulary are synonymous with BRAIN SURGERY, ROCKET SCIENCE, and COUNTING CALORIES: i.e., you don't fucking get it so leave it the fuck alone.

I am by no means a master of the universe, even in my own field of expertise. There's plenty of shit I already don't know, and I don't need you to add "how to dispose of the body" to that list. So please, I'm asking nicely, STOP FUCKING WITH THE SYSTEM. You are a USER of the system, not an ADMINISTRATOR. For fuck's sake. Just because you KNOW HOW TO LOG IN as the Administrator doesn't mean you SHOULD.

And while I'm at it, how about USE THE FUCKING CORRECT RESOLUTION ON YOUR MONITOR. I'm fucking tired of only being able to see 25% of the fucking screen because you're too god damn lazy to buy some glasses. Fuzzy text, ENORMOUS BUTTONS, stupid rotating background images. By the way, 99% of the time, "OH GOD MY COMPUTER IS SLOW," is TARDSPEAK for "HERPDERP I INSTALLED SOME BULLSHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE."

And.... fuck Windows, too.

[Doktor Howl]

I forgot my password.

[LMNO]

It's "Password".

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I forgot my password.

EVERYONE'S PASSWORD is a one of these:

child's name or birthdate
pet's name
favorite sports team
high school girlfriend they never fell out of love with, even after breakup/divorce/cheating/fire/etc
street they grew up on
business phone number

or some combination

plus a few random numbers like 1234 or the date they set the password on.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

It's "Password".

DOES THAT INCLUDE THE QUOTY MARK THINGS?
  \

[Doktor Howl]

I forgot my password.

EVERYONE'S PASSWORD is a one of these:

child's name or birthdate
pet's name
favorite sports team
high school girlfriend they never fell out of love with, even after breakup/divorce/cheating/fire/etc
street they grew up on
business phone number

or some combination

plus a few random numbers like 1234 or the date they set the password on.

Nope.  Mine is pretty obvious, but only to people who know me very well.

[LMNO]

"GOD"

[Adios]

What is my user id again?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I forgot my password.

EVERYONE'S PASSWORD is a one of these:

child's name or birthdate
pet's name
favorite sports team
high school girlfriend they never fell out of love with, even after breakup/divorce/cheating/fire/etc
street they grew up on
business phone number

or some combination

plus a few random numbers like 1234 or the date they set the password on.

I must not be included in Everyone.

Matter of fact my password at work is an random string of letters and numbers that I had to memorize.

[Doktor Howl]

"GOD"

Wanted that, but IT demanded more characters.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

"GOD"

this is why i set password complexity requirements. i TELL them it's about "security," but really i just love to snicker at people who can barely hold all the requirements for their password in their mind at once, let alone meet them.

[Doktor Howl]

"GOD"

this is why i set password complexity requirements. i TELL them it's about "security," but really i just love to snicker at people who can barely hold all the requirements for their password in their mind at once, let alone meet them.

I kind of figured that.

[Adios]

"GOD"

Wanted that, but IT demanded more characters.

GodHowl69!

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I'd set it to *~HOwL_G0d--^&_43b

[Doktor Howl]

I'd set it to *~HOwL_G0d--^&_43b

And then set the mandatory password change to weekly.  That'll teach the bastards.