ATTN, PD: Response Required.

[The Wizard]

Fine. But that better be one hell of a jiffy!

[Eater of Clowns]

Frankly, I have some concerns about the approved method.  Mostly with the upper management.  The uh, UPPER upper management.  Don't feign ignorance.  I've seen the CEO on his knees, and I'm not talking about the photos floating around.  I've seen him, trance-like, leading the board just before their meetings.  I've seen them at the parties, nursing those drinks for an awfully long time and looking very, very hungry.

I've seen the idols.  They toss the idols around as thank-yous and as congratulations.  They keep stacks of them in their pockets and collect more all the time, only to happily throw it around again.  And they've bought, the sorry bastards.  It's the ones that bought into it the most that are the happiest, with big fucking grins on them and hungry eyes like the ones they want to be, with smaller stacks of idols that they don't pass around as much but goddamn do they wish they could.

They wrote the approved method.  And I have to play their fucking game.  That's why I've decided to do things the way I do.  I don't want hungry eyes and I want my grin to be real.  If anything, I want that grin to be a warning, a fucking chimpanzee grin that idolaters can look upon and know it as a challenge.

There's more like me, too.  Look around at the next party.  Look at the veins on their necks and their tense stances, congenial at quick glance but always looking with their hungry eyes to the next highest collector of idols, to the next they seek to trample.  Pay them no mind, their facade.  You'll find the rest.  Talk to them about approved methods.

I quit.

[Phox]

I need to speak with the manager of whatever department I worked for. I need a reference for my applications for a new job.

[Salty]

Well I'm glad I'm fired.
I am a singularly beautiful snowflake, and my work is an exression of that uniqueness.
If it's not valued here I'm sure I can find a better place.

[Cainad (dec.)]

The approved methods run directly counter to the directions I received in the email from corporate.

[Don Coyote]

Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

[Doktor Howl]

Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.

[Dysnomia]

IM GOING TO SUE YOU FOR DISCRIMINATION!

[Don Coyote]

Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.

Even the two hot temps?

FUCK YU0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Doktor Howl]

Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.

Even the two hot temps?

FUCK YU0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I transferred the one they call "Yellow Pages" to AR/AP.

[Rumckle]

The last time I followed the approved method Johnny Cash died, and that day I swore 'never again will I use the approved method'.


(also, I think the approved method is illegal in this country)

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.

IT'S A SKIN CONDITION! GOD DAMN IT!

(that's my new excuse for everything at work)

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I didn't realize that there was an "approved method" of defecating in the CEO's drawer?

[Jasper]

Dok, you told me to do it this way.  Or at least, it looked like you, except lumpier- and it was demanding water with sugar.

Umm... 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.

Because the approved method is a funsucking method of apocolyptic proportions. 

When you hired me, you said that if I found a way that was more fun but accomplished the same results I could do it that way as long I carried a seperate insurance rider. 

At that time I did ask about future ramifications and you told me not to worry about it......




Dok, I'm worried