Erisian Brewer's Cadre. Or: How I saw the Goddess in the first place

[Richter]

Are you implying I intent to troll a brewing competition with my spiced ass-kicker concoction? 

You're right.

[Suu]

It's period.

It's Lithuanian.


They had it coming.

[Richter]

Motherfucking Suu, you have to pay attention to these motherfucking instructions.  Leln too.

At the fucking competition when you're sampling my fucking liquer there is a fucking order of operations or this shit will fucking absolutely your head and lungs.

1. Breathe in slightly.
2. Sip.  Do not shoot, do not gulp.  Sip.
3. Exhale slightly.
4. ???
5. Profit.

This shit is still so fucking that the very fumes will eradicate the head of whoever drinks it if you inhale them directly.  We are CERTAIN to see people gag and spew.  It will be labeled "Faelan's 'Shut Up and Swallow' Krupnikas".

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

[leln]

Motherfucking Suu, you have to pay attention to these motherfucking instructions.  Leln too.

At the fucking competition when you're sampling my fucking liquer there is a fucking order of operations or this shit will fucking absolutely your head and lungs.

1. Breathe in slightly.
2. Sip.  Do not shoot, do not gulp.  Sip.
3. Exhale slightly.
4. ???
5. Profit.

This shit is still so fucking that the very fumes will eradicate the head of whoever drinks it if you inhale them directly.  We are CERTAIN to see people gag and spew.  It will be labeled "Faelan's 'Shut Up and Swallow' Krupnikas".

Hey, I did listen to your directions on the krupnikas. That's why I put it in cake rather than drinking it. I'm half wondering if I could sneak into the brewing competition by bringing some of the fruitcake I'll be baking in a week or three, with the excuse that the fruit portion has been soaking in alcohol since September. Do you think it would work?

[Richter]

Motherfucking Suu, you have to pay attention to these motherfucking instructions.  Leln too.

At the fucking competition when you're sampling my fucking liquer there is a fucking order of operations or this shit will fucking absolutely your head and lungs.

1. Breathe in slightly.
2. Sip.  Do not shoot, do not gulp.  Sip.
3. Exhale slightly.
4. ???
5. Profit.

This shit is still so fucking that the very fumes will eradicate the head of whoever drinks it if you inhale them directly.  We are CERTAIN to see people gag and spew.  It will be labeled "Faelan's 'Shut Up and Swallow' Krupnikas".

Hey, I did listen to your directions on the krupnikas. That's why I put it in cake rather than drinking it. I'm half wondering if I could sneak into the brewing competition by bringing some of the fruitcake I'll be baking in a week or three, with the excuse that the fruit portion has been soaking in alcohol since September. Do you think it would work?

I think it has to be drinkable.  Do you have any of the soaking rum?  You could enter that as a cordial.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Keep it in bottles fro about three years.
That should mellow it out.

[Richter]

I should have made more than 2.25L

Oh well, that's a reason to cook another batch!

[Suu]

I checked on my mead yesterday...it's...carbonating itself. Enzo wants me to say fuck the competition and wait, but I think I should do one bottle and throw it in the fridge to kill the fermentation, and let the rest go and see what happens. You can't have a short mead if it's not SHORT.

[Richter]

How much do you have going?  (Can't remember if it was a 1 gal or a 3 gal.)

[Suu]

How much do you have going?  (Can't remember if it was a 1 gal or a 3 gal.)

ONLY A GALLON.

If I bottle now and DON'T refrigerate, I'll have a tactical nuke. I do remember what I put in it though...

1 large thing of Stop And Shop Honey
Must with black tea, lemon peel, fresh ginger, cinnamon sticks, and a dried Chinese hot pepper. Steeped for the duration it took me to get the funk out of the honey.
Combined honey and must. Added water to cool temperature and to add volume.
Pitched Red Star Premier Cuvee yeast. Dry form.

Primary: 2 weeks: No fermentation lock, used mesh.
Secondary: 2 weeks today: Fermentation lock. OH GOD IT'S BUBBLING UP FROM THE SEDIMENT. SMELLS LIKE VICTORY.
Bottle: ???
PROFIT!

It's clarifying nicely too. I just don't want it to dry out too much since I used a dry wine yeast. I gotta taste it tonight and find out. Enzo needs to realize that I know how to brew. Next time I'm just doing it in the comfort of my own home to avoid criticism.

[Richter]

LOL at Tactical Nuke.  Tie a bag of nails around it and enter it.  We'll see if the gods like us at the competition.

My cyser is bottled as of last night.  GOing to see how it comes out once it's settled, but it tastes pretty win so far.  It's about 1/2 cup of honey, 1 cup of sugar, .75 gal cider, allspice and cinnamon. Boil, cool, crboy, pitch, 1 week primary and 1 week 2ndary.

The straight cider is still disapointing ATM.  Going to let it settle, re-bottle, and leave it in the fridge to age.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Putting it in the fridge won't completely kill the fermentation.
It only puts the yeast to sleep.
Once they're warmed up again (taken out of the fridge) they wake back up and that's where you can run into bottle bombs.
You should let fermentation run it's course and if you think it's going too far, pull it off the yeast cake and into another container for a bit till it settles.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

Heating it to 150 degrees and holding it there for 30 minutes should kill the fermentation.

[Eater of Clowns]

So I should put this opportunity out there for prospective honey buyers.  My father is about to harvest between 100 and 150 pounds of honey from the bees he keeps.  It's legitimately the best honey I've ever tasted, with it mostly being made of clover on the lawn and the herbs/fruits in his huge garden.  It's spicy and tastes almost like cinnamon.  I think he's asking for $8/lb, which is pricey I know, but if anyone is interested I'll see if I can float any your way.