My office/work Holiday party is.....

[Triple Zero]

we have an official holiday party which is designed to be as lame as possible

and an unofficial party which takes place at my boss's house-- who lives in Mick Jagger's old mansion. That party's a little better but everybody is older than me by 15+ years and spend the evening reminiscing about working in publishing back in 1800. On the bright side I did get to hang out with the CEO of Penguin Books the other year, but she's hardly Mick Jagger.

Sounds like some excellent networking opportunities, in fact?

[Reeducation]

My work holiday parties have always been awesome.

Free alcohol! So much free alcohol! 

And the parties would be even better if I would be single. But I'm not, so I just drink free alcohol until my body can't move anymore!
It's awesome. Free awesome.