The War Against Hipsters, Part 1.

[Suu]

Today after work, I walked into a store that had a "vintage" section, hoping to find something awesome, say, from the 30s or 40s or at least fabrics I can use...

...Everything on the rack was by Arizona Jean Company and from 1995/96.

Hold up...That's within 20 years. That's not vintage, that's just hipsters being fucking lazy and charging too much for shit you can pay $5 for at Salvation Army, I thought to myself.

And then low and behold, the hipster shop girl comes over and points out things on the rack, like she's some sort of fashionista princess...

"This jumper is super cute, don't you think? It really brings out the style of the period."

"...I think had that in 7th grade. I wore it with flannel and Doc Martens. In fact I think it's in my 7th grade picture that year."

<--- Photographic evidence. The bottom had attached plaid flannel skort/skorts. The one in the store was almost identical.

"But, I don't think you understand the style that this represents."

"...Grunge?"

"Well, no, it was the pivotal look of the mid 1990s."

"You say it like it was so long ago."

"Well I was born in 1991 and..."

*cough*

"Are you okay?"

"Well, it's just that you're charging $60 for this...I don't even think my parents paid that much for it when it came out."

"The price higher because of the value of the clothing."

"...Right. You keep telling yourself that, I'm going to go buy it at Salvation Army up on the Eastside for 4 bucks. Take it easy, and good luck with your store."



I swear, I'm going to go to Salvation Army, spend $50, and resell everything for 5x the price I pay for it, calling it VINTAGE, that way, the hipsters get all ironic on me and shit. Fuck them. Fuck it all. I am now going to troll every "vintage" store until I find one that I can actually praise. Gah.

[Richter]

MAIL ORDER PUBIC LICE TIEM

[Suu]

IF ONLY.

In other news, I'm going to see if Craftland will buy some of my bags. I'd rather shop at a place full of awesome handmade goods than that shit.

[Gray Jester]

I swear, I'm going to go to Salvation Army, spend $50, and resell everything for 5x the price I pay for it, calling it VINTAGE, that way, the hipsters get all ironic on me and shit. Fuck them. Fuck it all. I am now going to troll every "vintage" store until I find one that I can actually praise. Gah.

This is a good plan.  I suggest using your profits to buy all of the PBR in your town, in order to frustrate the few joys in the small lives of most hipsters.

[Freeky]

That's a good plan, Suu.


As a side note, I'm only 4 years older than that chick, and don't remember the 90's too well, but christ, at least I don't think of them as "that period".

What a tard.

[hooplala]

I remember the 70s... fuck I'm old. 

[Thurnez Isa]

I remember the 70s... fuck I'm old. 

Though I was born in 80,
Last weekend I went to the video rental store and there was this one young teen complaining to his friend that he had just watched the original Jaws and he was bored cause there was no CGI

I was debating whether the jail sentence for killing him would be worth it.

[Reginald Ret]

really? bitching about a lack of cheap effects?
thats just sad.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Apparently I was having babies when "vintage" was being established.

WTF. No, man, no fucking way do 15-year-old clothes qualify as "vintage". Fuuuuck that. I bet that store will be gone in a month.

[Jasper]

I don't think the 90s will ever be a "fashion period" in my mind.  Neither, I think, will any decade I participate in.

Perhaps posterity will see it, somehow, but I doubt I will.

[Don Coyote]

NIgel....you aren't trolling us are you? There is really a 'vintage' store selling overpriced shit from a thrift store. I don't know how I feel about that right now. I think disdain.





I thought vintage was shit from the 70's and earlier.....

[Jasper]

I think of vintage as pre-60's. 

Even "old" just isn't what it used to be.

[Don Coyote]

Not looking forward when shit I wore in high school is vintage.

[Disco Pickle]

I remember the 70s... fuck I'm old. 

Though I was born in 80,
Last weekend I went to the video rental store and there was this one young teen complaining to his friend that he had just watched the original Jaws and he was bored cause there was no CGI

I was debating whether the jail sentence for killing him would be worth it.

there isn't a jury born before 1975 that would convict you.  They're probably still scared shitless of going into the water at the beach because of that movie.

[BadBeast]