American Holiday Traditions

[Cuddlefish]

It's that time of year again, and you know what that means!

The Running of the Tools

And if that doesn't satisfy your holiday appetites, let's review the holiday memories of yester-year.

Happy holidays!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

[Cuddlefish]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

Bah, Humbug!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

Bah, Humbug!

Hey! Quote function is back!

[Cuddlefish]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

Bah, Humbug!

Hey! Quote function is back!

Didn't realize it had left.

You know what that means? A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!

SEE, JESUS LOVES THE STAMPEDES!

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

Bah, Humbug!

Hey! Quote function is back!

yaaaaaay!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.

Don't be such a Scrooge.

Bah, Humbug!

Hey! Quote function is back!

Didn't realize it had left.

You know what that means? A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!

SEE, JESUS LOVES THE STAMPEDES!

It was a necessary sacrifice. Our God is a cruel and bloodthirsty god, but with proper brutal human sacrifice, he rewards our faith on his birthday with the acquistion of material goods via his Santa-bot, as opposed to useless things like eternal life and forgiveness of sins.

Trample the shoppers!

[Richter]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE!  LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME!  I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!

[AFK]

That's some vomit-inducing humanity right there. 

People can be rather disgusting at times. 

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I for one am not looking forward to xmas shopping at all.

[Suu]

Plus side I always had to Black Friday shoppers:

1: I'm not fat. I'm curvy, but I'm not obese. I can out run most of those fat bitches to the shit I want. One year I felt like my sister and I were floating over those people. We strolled right in why some fat white girls who were speaking total jive got into a fist fight outside like nothing was going on, and just laughed our way through the store. And if anyone ever pushed me over, they'd be missing teeth by the time I got to them.

2: I never actually buy anything anyways, I just get a bunch of shit in a cart, walk down an aisle and leave it there. Hide around the corner, and then wait for the potential feeding frenzy and fist fights. It's an anthropological study, I swear!

[Cain]

I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday.  The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday.  The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.

Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:

October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over

[Cain]

It is.  I'd probably climb a tower with a sniper rifle if I had to put up with what you guys do.  I hate going into the store when its even slightly busy...so, yeah.

And our Calender basically goes Halloween (pretty low key), late November onwards the stores get the Xmas displays up, house decorations usually go up in the first weekend of December, there is the usual working up towards Xmas Day, then the Boxing Day to first week of New Year sales.

However, I wont ever turn on a radio this time of year.  Oh god no.