American Holiday Traditions

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It is.  I'd probably climb a tower with a sniper rifle if I had to put up with what you guys do.  I hate going into the store when its even slightly busy...so, yeah.

And our Calender basically goes Halloween (pretty low key), late November onwards the stores get the Xmas displays up, house decorations usually go up in the first weekend of December, there is the usual working up towards Xmas Day, then the Boxing Day to first week of New Year sales.

However, I wont ever turn on a radio this time of year.  Oh god no.

I don't know how people are able to subject themselves to endless hymns and carols. It's masochism, pure masochism. No, scratch that. It's a controlled experiment in mass insanity. There's subliminal trigger words in those songs.

[Cuddlefish]

2: I never actually buy anything anyways, I just get a bunch of shit in a cart, walk down an aisle and leave it there. Hide around the corner, and then wait for the potential feeding frenzy and fist fights. It's an anthropological study, I swear!

This is awesome.

I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday.  The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.

Seriuosly, man, I've been thinking about quitting school to focus entirely on getting the fuck out of this country. This place, as it is, gives me an almost physically nauseous feeling just knowing that these types of behaviours are actually encouraged, and are now being ingrained into our culture. I figure I should start at lest thinking about leaving now, before the meer fact that I want to leave makes me a criminal. 

[Cuddlefish]

I think anyone using the term "Door Buster," in terms of sales events, or otherwise, should be arrested for attempting to encite riots.

(edited twice, for general stupidity)

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I think anyone using the term "Door Buster," in terms of sales events, or otherwise, should be arrested for attempting to induce riots.

You're not wrong.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

The radio station my wife likes to keep it tuned to this time of year doesn't even have any live DJ's.  Just the same 40 Christmas songs played over and over in a loop. 

The same 40 songs they played last year over and over in a loop.

PMZ,
Rocking around the Christmas tree.  Have a happy holiday!

[Eater of Clowns]

There was a Black Friday news report on Thanksgiving night, talking to a few people waiting in lines at different stores.  One guy said it was his tradition; everyone else had their turkey and their mashed potatoes, he had his camping out for Black Friday.  He said sometimes he doesn't even buy a good deal, maybe just a CD or something.

Something needs to be put in place to compensate for natural selection being broken and allowing people like this to go on existing.

[Suu]

You know, they didn't start calling it Black Friday until a few years ago, it was sort of a retail thing, we all kept it to ourselves and snickered about it at work and had nightmares about it coming upon us...then some marketing fucker overheard someone say it and now it's everywhere. I hate it.

I remember my dad getting up for the After-Thanksgiving sales as a kid, but it wasn't as bad as it is now. Plus my dad is physically handicapped, he can't deal with these crazy people now...most of them are just white trash looking to get a shitty flatscreen TV on sale when the store may only have 3 of them anyway.

The year Herbert and I decided we were going to be serious about TV shopping, we went to Best Buy at 4am, but the offering was such a piece of shit, we decided to wait..........and then filled up our carriage with stuff, and left it in an aisle to see what happened, and walked out empty handed. We got coffee, went home, and went back to bed.

My sister and I have pissing people off to a fine science, especially the year we decided to dress nice at 4am, with makeup and the Coach bags, and sashay'd our asses into Wallyworld. "Dahhhhling!"

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE!  LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME!  I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!

This is beautiful and should be printed on the inside of xmas cards.
I want to have this printed on the inside of my xmas cards!

I'm going to be jolly this year. Obnoxiously so.

[Richter]

Totally agree.  I have a list of people I want to do nice things for / to, and outside of them, the humanity can fuck off.  Anyone who expects some decor and a pop music carol on the radio to incite my wallet can bleed out through the urethra as I step over their twitching form to leave.

[Suu]

I almost felt the Christmas spirit this year for the first time in a while (usually it come about half way through a bottle of tequila on Christmas Eve), then I saw everyone getting their trees ready, and realized I can't have a tree in this shitass little apartment, and cried like a little bitch.


Christmas can fuck itself again. I haven't liked in since 2001 when my parents abandoned me in Florida for Rhode Island.

"Merry Christmas, here's $500, we'll call you from your aunt's house on LI!"

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I almost felt the Christmas spirit this year for the first time in a while (usually it come about half way through a bottle of tequila on Christmas Eve), then I saw everyone getting their trees ready, and realized I can't have a tree in this shitass little apartment, and cried like a little bitch.


Christmas can fuck itself again. I haven't liked in since 2001 when my parents abandoned me in Florida for Rhode Island.

"Merry Christmas, here's $500, we'll call you from your aunt's house on LI!"

Oh c'mon now. I mean that's not very cool but it isn't the worst thing in the world and hell, you still get to visit them and stuff.
They make wee trees. Hell I just saw some in Target today that are about 6" high with il bitty lights powered by USB.
Damn they were cute.
No reason you can't just enjoy what it's all about. Remember Charlie Brown? Yeah... that's the stuff.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

FUCK XMAS, HANUKKAH STARTS TONIGHT!!!!!

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE!  LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME!  I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!

This is beautiful and should be printed on the inside of xmas cards.
I want to have this printed on the inside of my xmas cards!

I'm going to be jolly this year. Obnoxiously so.

In fact, can I have your permission to use that?

[Jasper]

I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday.  The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.

Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:

October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
-  Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

I fix.

[Triple Zero]

I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday.  The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.

Ooh that gives me an idea, I wonder if it's possible to coax the British queueing behaviour into some kind of ant death spiral type of thing?

We gotta try this, next Day of Discord.

For starters, since we're a group of at least five or so, I bet we can get people to form lines just about anywhere by just standing in a line and waiting until people join at the end. Ok, there has to be some reason for them to get in the line in the first place, but I'm sure it could be something really simple, the value of the simple thing being of course greatly amplified by the fact that people are queueing up for it!

And then, I don't know, with the correct signs and promises of FREE CAKE, to form a line around a (small) building into a loop perhaps?

I bet the line would even appear to move, since people tend to push forward.