You came to take my heart away from me

[Sepia]

I remember you now, who you were when I grew up, many years before we ever knew eachother you stood there, your hair combed with knowledge and skill, the casual shirt in the casual pants and the casual shoes but casual wasn't the world then when we who were alive did what we were supposed to do our age, when we ate ants by a dare or snuck into the girls lockerroom, the shit you get locked up because of when you grow older and the lines underneath your eyes have been with you for so long that they give you character. A grown man you were then and a child you are now and you could have been something so much more but still you but you opted for the good enough route and this is where we meet, on this highway where we try to go to but know we'll never end up in, kether.

What is the pain we gave away to find ourselves in our current state? What was sold for cheap because we didn't understand its value? When did we stop savouring the sweat of our brow? The thin white duke is david bowies magical name and he is in the order where initiation never ends and him and his wife will stand there, out in the middle of a forest in a beautiful house and they'll be on the outside drinking champagne, speaking crowley and spare, keeping it classical. The generation before them and the half generation before them, the beat but now: kether.

We weren't these people when we grew up and I've been things I love and hate and used to love and hate, that period that somehow got more on my mind than anything else and I've been living by that as a standard but I keep forgetting that I'm walking from malkuth to kether, I forget to sit under the tree long enough each day and I wasn't born in the chosen one sense. I keep forgetting that while it matters, it never shatters. The mirror tells lies, what it sees is shown to us and we keep forgetting that everything is connected and not in the conspiracy sense but everything is because we are that connection, our reality is our problem.

The empire never ended said Phillip. I have to admit that I believe him more than I believe in any god- this is something more than belief, it is a feeling, a fleeting feeling from a different age or impossible to interpret or perhaps it doesn't exist, but it's there, the feeling that the empire never ended. Here in hell, the empire didn't end, here in heaven it didn't, here in the sacred heart it, here in reality, here in, here

Hear the beating of the drums in the vastness of the urban landscape, hear mother nature come in every night, hear the savage beasts in the night as you read about tyger tyger, burning bright and you think yourself superior in some way, with the uncivilized outside and you, inside in the warmth, enjoying classical literature and contemporary music, aged port and mass-manufactured tubes of licorice. No matter how you drown it out, you can hear the slight thumps and tremors and frank herberts model for the sandworms were himself and his family and they also heard the thumping, like all men and women do, that thing, the idea you can never shake, the empire never ended. In r'lyeh, cthulhu dreams, in calvary jesus hangs, in the garden under the tree sits the buddha, outside the temple they argue about hotdog buns. I believe in none of these arguments or their offsprings but they're good stories.

fuck, you came

[LMNO]

I liked this one a lot.  The PKD reference, expanded on.


Glad to see you back, I was worried you had gone for good.

[East Coast Hustle]

Fuck yeah, I really dig this one. I especially like the last paragraph, and the ending line is bordering on brilliant.

[Sepia]

Thanks.

I really like some pieces of this more myself, a little while after typing it down.