UNKLE ENRICO'S STORYTIME HOUR!

[hooplala]

Well, yes, but what about the electric cantalope?  Why was this not used?

So, YEAH, what about the electric cantalope, you twisted old freak?

[Suu]

HEY UNCLE ENRICO!

TELL US ABOUT THE TIME DIABO GAVE BIRTH TO TRIPLETS!

[Rizzo]

Fuck! Who is Enrico Salazar??? This is an alt for who????

More importantly, is this the same Enrico????

http://twitter.com/enricosalazar

Thanks in advance.

Your friend and secret lover,

Rizzo

[LMNO]

Enrico, tell us the story of when all the roosters started walking backwards...

[Enrico Salazar]

Is a time that Salazorian scientists (called "goopeys") recall with much fondness and delight, as well as Kinsey Institute.

You see, for every young and virile Salzazorian boy there come time when he must prove his manhood by impregnating a local rooster, or cock as they are call in homeland. 

Is very proud moment between the man and his popo and momo, and immediate family.  Nowadays many photos are take, and there is cake in shape of the cock and the lourka (which mean rooster and cock for those who do not understand Salazorian so good).  Many present are give to the boy if he is able to impregnate the rooster, and many knive are thrown if he cannot.  Enrico's brother Flip was killed in just such a manner.  The Generalissimo's momo has very good aim, she was number one marksman in Salazorian army.  Until she untimely death, but through Ouiji board Enrico have it on good authority that she forgive him.

So.  Rooster impregnation.  It came to pass when Enrico's father, Ritzibottom, who is poet laureate of island nation of Salazore, was become 10 like all other boys his age on Salazore.  Sex, she can happen anytime on Salazore (and Enrico mean ANYTIME) but, the impregnation of the womens can only happen on January 1 which is day that the Great Tortoise vomited all of creation out, as every school child know.  So, all childrens are born around start of September in Salazore.  Is hard on wallet in September.

So, when Ritzibottom is ten is time for the cock walk.  Did Enrico mention that this impregnation of roosters is done while walking around beaches of Salazore barefeeted?  Is true.  Salazorian beaches are filled with broken bottles, discard razor blades, and bits of Anne Coulter's pubic hair... is very dangerous.  One might think Anne Coulter she is young, but not true, she is as old as the hill.  She has gone by many name, Lizzy Bathory, Typhoid Mary, Mata Hari, Eva Braun, et al.

So, was time for cock walk, and Ritzi had chosen his rooster, a large turquois bastard with three eye and teeth.  It actually had teeth.  Enrico has seen photograph.  He was go to catch the cock, when to his surprise and delight the rooster, he began to walk backwards toward Ritzibottom.  Everyone was stun.  First, he had not had to step onto beach at all, so to this day his feet are smooth and scarless.  Enrico should know, he is look at them right now, they are pickled and in jar on kitchen counter.  So beautiful.

Yes, this rooster began to walk backwards toward Ritzibottom, and snuggled against his lourka, not only asking, but begging for it.  It WANT to be pregnant it seem.  So, Ritzibottom he finish up, and low and behold, three day later this cock lay an egg.  The egg crack open and we have another basilisk to put into dungeon underneath Salazore Parliament.  Is nice to have somewhere to place peoples who do not agree with truth.  Ask Ronald Reagan, he know that when he have Denver International Airport built.  You will soon see.

The novelty she wear off after few days and all other roosters act same with all other boys going into estrus.  The goopeys want to know why, so they send out electric cantalopes to hunt down each rooster and kill it.  Everyone know that roosters love the cantalope, but nobody want to touch roosters if they are not going to fuck them, because these animals will peck at scrotums until the man become backup BeeGee.  Is frightening to behold.  The goopeys want to kill all these roosters so they can perform very sexy vivisection on their dead parts.  It seem that a rare parasite which feed on particular enzyme in Salazorian babyjuice had crawled into roosters so they would do whatever necessary to get that delicious goo all to themselves, greedy fucking parasites.  Just like sick and poor in world today.  How dare they live?

Is funny post script to story.  Because the goopeys kill all those rooster, is no way to know if they became with basilisk, so all the other boys the age of Ritzibottom were soundly thrashed and kill by their parents through no fault of their own.  Is so funny.  What a world!

[hooplala]

Someone let Enrico on Twitter?  God help us all.

[Whatever]

Someone let Enrico on Twitter?  God help us all.

I don't know, when I imagine it the potential for absolute gloriousness is there.....

Can you imagine receiving the following as a tweet?

First, he had not had to step onto beach at all, so to this day his feet are smooth and scarless.  Enrico should know, he is look at them right now, they are pickled and in jar on kitchen counter.  So beautiful.

[Eater of Clowns]

Someone let Enrico on Twitter?  God help us all.

I don't know, when I imagine it the potential for absolute gloriousness is there.....

Can you imagine receiving the following as a tweet?

First, he had not had to step onto beach at all, so to this day his feet are smooth and scarless.  Enrico should know, he is look at them right now, they are pickled and in jar on kitchen counter.  So beautiful.

Yeah, it would look like this:

First, he had not had to step onto beach at all, so to this day his feet are smooth and scarless.  Enrico should know, he is look at them right now, they are pi

[hooplala]

 

[Rizzo]

Fuck! Who is Enrico Salazar??? This is an alt for who????

More importantly, is this the same Enrico????

http://twitter.com/enricosalazar

Thanks in advance.

Your friend and secret lover,

Rizzo

HALLOOOOOOOOOOO

I see you sitting there reading this, stop pretending like you're not.

I want ANSWERS dammit!

[hooplala]

I also heard a rumor of an upcoming blog... welcome to 2005, Unkle Enrico!

[Rizzo]

I also heard a rumor of an upcoming blog... welcome to 2005, Unkle Enrico!

You must be Enrico.... nice to meet you.

http://baronvonhoopla.wordpress.com/category/stories/

[hooplala]

Think these things are edible?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

French marine biologists do.

[AFK]

I'd think the fuzz would get stuck in your teeth.