Author Topic: DM/Player Ownage  (Read 14927 times)

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2010, 05:45:49 pm »
Your players are truly disturbed.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #31 on: December 05, 2010, 08:38:03 pm »
Your players are truly disturbed.

Wait til you hear what the beastly shits did to my giant lobster.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2010, 08:39:57 pm »
Your players are truly disturbed.

Wait til you hear what the beastly shits did to my giant lobster.

Dare I ask? Do I want to know?

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #33 on: December 05, 2010, 08:40:55 pm »
Your players are truly disturbed.

Wait til you hear what the beastly shits did to my giant lobster.

Dare I ask? Do I want to know?

I hate them.

Will post tomorrow.  It's a long, sad story, and I have to get back to moving house.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #34 on: December 07, 2010, 03:49:14 pm »
Okay, I had this trap in Castle Gristlegrim (also noted for Battletech Kobolds), Coyote.  It was a room with a murky pool of water.  In that murky pool of water was a giant lobster in stasis.  Stasis ends when any living thing enters the water.  No party in their right mind is going anywhere near that water...They think.

Tied to the tail of the lobster was a wire that went through the wall, over a set of pulleys and a saw blade, up to the roof.  Above the center of the pool is a block of water soluble wax covering 50 KILOGRAMS of sodium (this comes back to haunt me later). 

An alcove on the side of the room on the left wall as you look in has a treasure chest.  The chest has an easily disabled (DC20) yet really hard to find (DC35) set of triggers.  When the chest is unlocked, a sound bubble spell goes off in a 15' radius to keep the rogue from hearing any screaming, and in the hall outside, the right wall sprays a mist of honey droplets on the PCs.  When the rogue opens the lid, the left wall sprays fire ants all over the party (heavy armor, LOL).  At that point, they are considered to be attacked by a swarm of army ants, and instead of saving vs distraction, they have to save to avoid jumping in the water.

When they do, the lobster comes out of statis and goes totally haywire on anyone in the water...Also pulling the rope around its tail across the saw blade, dropping the block of wax/sodium into the water.  Now there's a time limit (1d4+3 rounds) before the big kaboom (8d6, 20 ft radius, ref sv DC20 for half, nobody in the water gets to save).

That's how it was SUPPOSED to happen.  Here's how it really went down:

Fighter doesn't like the room layout at all, has the cleric cast resist energy (cold) on him, and goes back to the level 3 vending machine room (never gives you correct change for a torch, btw, and the trail rats taste like a dire rat shat in them), and got a patch of brown mold out of the corner, which they had previously avoided. 

He then walks back, tosses it in the water, and suggests that the party check out some other rooms first.  They come back later to a frozen pool with a block of wax sitting on it.  They take the loot, THEY TAKE THE SODIUM (party has a bomb now, LOL), and then they melt the ice away from the lobster and send Lefty the torch-bearer back to town for a couple of barrels of butter.

I fucking hate them.  I hates them forever. :crankey:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #35 on: December 07, 2010, 04:16:33 pm »
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #36 on: December 07, 2010, 04:21:11 pm »
On the plus side:

"I bull rush the gelatinous cube!"
- Randy the Dumbfuck going through his 3rd character before even making 3rd level.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 130618
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #37 on: December 07, 2010, 07:03:19 pm »
:mittens: to roger for both accounts! hahahahah




I had an encounter I never got a chance to run, maybe one of you assholes can salvage it.

The players are excavating a dungeon, and learn that one wing of the complex is inhabited by trolls. These trolls are particularly dangerous because unlike their brethren, they use weapons. The trolls have tribes based on what weapons they use - the axe tribe, the mace tribe, etc. This area is inhabited by the net tribe.

The players come into a large meeting forum, which they expect to be full, but is absent except for a few low level humans who are busy destroying the place with picks and hammers. They will later discover that these are humans who are trying to join the net tribe. Interns, if you will.

And that the intern net trolls have destroyed the forum.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #38 on: December 07, 2010, 07:05:29 pm »
:mittens: to roger for both accounts! hahahahah




I had an encounter I never got a chance to run, maybe one of you assholes can salvage it.

The players are excavating a dungeon, and learn that one wing of the complex is inhabited by trolls. These trolls are particularly dangerous because unlike their brethren, they use weapons. The trolls have tribes based on what weapons they use - the axe tribe, the mace tribe, etc. This area is inhabited by the net tribe.

The players come into a large meeting forum, which they expect to be full, but is absent except for a few low level humans who are busy destroying the place with picks and hammers. They will later discover that these are humans who are trying to join the net tribe. Interns, if you will.

And that the intern net trolls have destroyed the forum.

:walken:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Requia ☣

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 53479
  • Delicate and pretty shark of impending doom.
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #39 on: December 07, 2010, 07:47:56 pm »
At least it wasn't a camouflaged Gnoll who covered himself in grass.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Richter

  • Razor-Sharp Rattan Surgical Tool Sharpener™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 101132
  • Right Coast Deacon of Self-Contamination
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #40 on: December 07, 2010, 07:55:09 pm »
Shut the fuck up.  :argh!:
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #41 on: December 08, 2010, 12:07:04 pm »
Roger, your lobster story sounds truly amazing, but how did the pool got frozen? Did somebody cast a spell? I don't follow.

However, :lol: at the party going back for a couple barrels of butter, btw. Your party is awesome :D
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #42 on: December 08, 2010, 02:16:02 pm »
Roger, your lobster story sounds truly amazing, but how did the pool got frozen? Did somebody cast a spell? I don't follow.

However, :lol: at the party going back for a couple barrels of butter, btw. Your party is awesome :D

Brown mold sucks the heat out of its surroundings almost instantly.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #43 on: December 13, 2010, 09:35:07 pm »
Running Rise of the Runelords with 6 players.

Boss of the 2d chapter gets owned in one hit from Ian's barbarian.  One fucking hit.   :argh!:

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 67367
  • Pull-Start Enema Wasteland
    • View Profile
Re: DM/Player Ownage
« Reply #44 on: December 13, 2010, 09:52:39 pm »
Have you considered adapting monsters from "Evil Dead"?

They would totally deserve it.