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Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 17, 2011, 06:39:36 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 17, 2011, 06:39:36 PM Last Edit: January 17, 2011, 09:18:13 PM by The Good Reverend Roger
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh LMNO R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn", which translates as "In his cube at W'ork, bored LMNO waits dreaming."

For untold aeons, the stars were wrong, and LMNO couldn't exist in the real world.  Eventually, though, they had to be right, and that eventuality happened 15 minutes ago.

The guy in the cube across from LMNO didn't stand a chance.  Nobody did, of course, but this guy had a half second to see the strange geometry that was once LMNO's cube, and it blasted his mind...Which was just as well, because a half-second later, be was smashed to a red greasy spot by the tentacles that shot out of LMNO's ass.

There were a few seconds of confusion and running around and hollering on his floor, and then the tentacles shot down through the elevator shafts, groping into each floor, testing each person they ran into, rejecting them, and leaving their pulped remains on the floor.  If that hot intern in the mail room had been in to work that day, things might have been different.  But she wasn't, and things went from bad to worse.

All over Boston, people came to rather messy ends, as the Hounds of Tindalos sprung out of every angled surface, chowing down on Bostonians like Scooby snacks.  The stain of otherworldly horror began to spread out of Boston at an alarming rate.  It's half way to Chicago, and all transmissions - television, phones, internet, whatever, cease abruptly as the line of corruption crosses any given point.

Well, almost any communication.  I just got an email from some guy named "Hastur" who says that he'll pay me 20% of $100,000,000, if I help him get it out of the vast gulfs between the stars, by letting him use my checking account for a while.

I suppose I could run West, but I'd only die tired, right?  And I really don't think I have to put up with Elder God porn spam.

Goddamn you, LMNO.

Or Kill Me Devour my very soul.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#1
January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

Remington

#2
January 17, 2011, 06:59:19 PM
 :mittens:

I really like this whole "board members as Elder Gods" thing.
Is it plugged in?

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios

#4
January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
January 17, 2011, 07:02:34 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?

Everyone as far West as Amarillo, at the time of this p
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#6
January 17, 2011, 07:04:02 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.


Is the west coast safe, or should I eat a bullet now?

Edit:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 07:02:34 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?

Everyone as far West as Amarillo, at the time of this p

Oh.  Uh. Hm.

President Television

#7
January 17, 2011, 09:19:58 PM
I don't know what you're talking about Roger, the east coast is fi
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Richter

#8
January 17, 2011, 10:18:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.

I for one welcome, aid, and devour alongside our new tentacled overlord!
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Triple Zero

#9
January 17, 2011, 10:19:55 PM
"Surprise!" - Eris
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Richter

#10
January 17, 2011, 10:20:44 PM
and  :lulz:

This would TOTALLY happen in Boston.  Providence would take it in stride too much.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

LMNO

#11
January 18, 2011, 01:13:46 PM
FEAR MY MIGHTY ANAL TENTACLES.

Whatever

#13
January 18, 2011, 03:04:22 PM
I like this.


I have to move now, but, I like this....   :lulz:


LMNO, be careful on the east side, those fuckers are loaded for Columbians.

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#14
January 18, 2011, 08:46:19 PM
:mittens:

For the entire series.
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