Homo Altruis

[Jasper]

https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1xninS1GHZNRYCrfw7wJnoN4CQBS4Dm1mLMdAwx34dRE

Original science fiction.   In its current incarnation it's just a plot, actual scenes are not yet written.  Still, this is the longest story I've ever written, and my friends seem to like it.

[Jasper]

[Don Coyote]

INTERNAL SERVER ERROR
ERROR 500

[Phox]

Don't have time to thoroughly read right now, but skimmed it a bit. DON'T. USE. PRESENT. TENSE. IN. A. NARRATIVE.

Eh, that's a bit harsh. But seriously, narratives generally flow better when using past tense. And there are certain times when using a present tense instead of past tense is appropriate. But those situations are relatively rare, so it's best to avoid it.

[Pæs]

Don't have time to thoroughly read right now, but skimmed it a bit. DON'T. USE. PRESENT. TENSE. IN. A. NARRATIVE.

Eh, that's a bit harsh. But seriously, narratives generally flow better when using past tense. And there are certain times when using a present tense instead of past tense is appropriate. But those situations are relatively rare, so it's best to avoid it.

I expect the tense will be changed once it's more than an outline of the plot.
If it wasn't going to, though, definitely what Phox said.

I have a tab open with it, intending to read, but busy things keep distracting me.

[Jasper]

I know my style leaves much to be desired, but this is just a preliminary exercise to plan the story out so I don't get bogged down and quit.  This is by no means finished product. 

[Jasper]

Some of that writing, upon revision, is admittedly some ugly shit.  I think I just had to show it to a more critical audience to actually notice.

Bug report:001

The writing is not good

Status: Will fix.

[Adios]

Stick with it. Let the story write itself. I liked it.

[Jasper]

Thanks!  That's highly encouraging, coming from you.

[Phox]

I know my style leaves much to be desired, but this is just a preliminary exercise to plan the story out so I don't get bogged down and quit.  This is by no means finished product. 

Yeah, what I have been able to read so far is very interesting. Definitely looking forward to getting a chance to finish it. and kinda wondering what you are going to do to flesh it out.

[Jasper]

Write actual scenes and dialogue, namely.  This is just a plot overview.

[Phox]

Write actual scenes and dialogue, namely.  This is just a plot overview.

I meant in terms of how the dialogue and scenes play out, not the literal process. 

[Jasper]

OH.

Yeah. 

Well, that's what I suck the most at, so it should be fun.

I am thinking about finding a bunch of writers I like, and mimicking their techniques.  Any suggestions for who I should look to for great form?  I'm not planning on copying actual text, just the form and flow of dialogue (since I have little idea how to do it in the first place.)

[Phox]

OH.

Yeah. 

Well, that's what I suck the most at, so it should be fun.

I am thinking about finding a bunch of writers I like, and mimicking their techniques.  Any suggestions for who I should look to for great form?  I'm not planning on copying actual text, just the form and flow of dialogue (since I have little idea how to do it in the first place.)

Hmmm. For dialogue, no one beats Twain.

[Jasper]

Of course!  I actually have a complete works lying around somewhere!  Excellent!