Holy NARDSCram!

[Richter]

I Sharted! 

For realz.  I'm in the shower, so I think it's safe to fire off a 20 decible airbeef, and there was FOLLOWTHROUGH.  Once I realized this, I was out and onto the john pullign some crazy matrix shit, just in time for the world to fall out of my butt.

Then... I'm removing the asston of snow from my car and I feel it COMING BACK.  My whole snowbound expedition to work was a barely controlled series of power slides while I struggled not to power skid my skivvies.

[Suu]

 

[Cramulus]

I do believe sharting is the theme of the week

it starts out as a fart

and then it's MORE THAN A FART


like a metaphor for self control or something

[Richter]

Totally is!  You THINK you're in control.  That you've got everything covered.  So you feel safe letting some stuff go, jsut to reduce the pressure.  Only THEN you realize the extra steam is NOT the first thing queued to get out. 

Driving with my anus on full lockdown, it's like trying to walk around with clenched fists.  It's like you're hotwiring you brain to drive in full on agreeive mode.

[Suu]

Every time I heard the word "shart", I think of either shark or shards of glass. Either way. Ow.

[Cramulus]

We've been in a few contests which involve shitting

maybe we should have a contest to see who can go longer WITHOUT shitting


god, that would be horrible



I know you've heard this story before, but back in college I decided that since defecation is a voluntary action, it's really just a habit, and therefore something I could quit. I think I went four or five days before I finally took a dump. It was difficult! On the plus side, girls that knew I was a shit quitter kept giving me really tight hugs.

[Richter]

 

Another contest that invovles potentially ruining our ability to control our bodily functions? I'd have to pass on a "longest w/o shitting" one.  I treid that when I was younger, and legit got myself hospitalized.  I have never been backed up a day since, and plan to keep it that way!

Maybe some kind of heroic fiber intake?  Like see who can handle 5 biscuits of shredded wheat per day the longest?

[Lies]

Why am I reading this thread 

[Don Coyote]

Why am I reading this thread 

Because of the words "NARDS" and "sharted"

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm TGRR, and I approve of this plugged shower drain.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

i almost sharted this morning.. I was midway thru my first morrning ciggie and had to parp. I moved like lightning to avoid shitting in my pajamas. 

[Jenne]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Yeah...those of us with IBS, we just don't play the poo/ass games...if poo wants to shit out, we let it.  We RESPECT the poo.  Because being disrespected by your poo is ass.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Yeah...those of us with IBS, we just don't play the poo/ass games...if poo wants to shit out, we let it.  We RESPECT the poo.  Because being disrespected by your poo is ass.

this.

[Suu]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Yeah...those of us with IBS, we just don't play the poo/ass games...if poo wants to shit out, we let it.  We RESPECT the poo.  Because being disrespected by your poo is ass.

I've done that. Not fun. Do not want. I'm actually a little irritable this morning. I can't figure out if it was the cider vinegar in the pr0k or the balsamic/olive oil dressing on the salad.

[Richter]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Yeah...those of us with IBS, we just don't play the poo/ass games...if poo wants to shit out, we let it.  We RESPECT the poo.  Because being disrespected by your poo is ass.

I've done that. Not fun. Do not want. I'm actually a little irritable this morning. I can't figure out if it was the cider vinegar in the pr0k or the balsamic/olive oil dressing on the salad.

I think it was the combination of rendered fats and vinegar in the proks, I remember soaking a portion with the barbecue flavored deliciousness.  My system must not have liked it because it got expressed to the egress.  Maybe some bread to soak it up next time.