Willful Mysteries

[Sister Fracture]

Oh, jebus, don't even get me started on exes' bullshittery.

OHAY, MAYBE YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE CABLE AND GO OUT DRINKING AND KEEP A CAR THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD AND IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A MAN WITH THRE FUCKING CHILDREN. SON. OF. A. BIIIIIIITCH.

[Kai]

EoC, I can empathize with your OP. My latest ex (the one that actually posted here a couple times) had the same habit as your three people. She would make poor decisions, or excuse any clumsiness on her part, by saying "the universe is against me".

To which I responded, NO, the universe is an uncaring mechanism. The reason you fall into "bad luck" over and over again is poor decisions and clumsiness. The rest is excuses for not making any changes to your life. It's one of those "Why does this always happen to me?" games.

[Sister Fracture]

EoC, I can empathize with your OP. My latest ex (the one that actually posted here a couple times) had the same habit as your three people. She would make poor decisions, or excuse any clumsiness on her part, by saying "the universe is against me".

To which I responded, NO, the universe is an uncaring mechanism. The reason you fall into "bad luck" over and over again is poor decisions and clumsiness. The rest is excuses for not making any changes to your life. It's one of those "Why does this always happen to me?" games.

I think a lot of that basic problem is fueled by the fact that people can't usually examine their own lives with any amount of critical thinking. This makes it harder to change, since they don't know what they're looking for.

[LMNO]

As much as I love my wife, if I hear her say "I need to lose weight and go on a diet" one more time as she's opening another beer, I'm gonna punch myself in the nuts.

[Eater of Clowns]

I think a lot of that basic problem is fueled by the fact that people can't usually examine their own lives with any amount of critical thinking. This makes it harder to change, since they don't know what they're looking for.

This is the primary problem, yes, to which the OP is a symptom.

As much as I love my wife, if I hear her say "I need to lose weight and go on a diet" one more time as she's opening another beer, I'm gonna punch myself in the nuts.

Ahaha.  I opened my stupid mouth the last time this came up.  She was saying she felt awful because she was expecting to have gained weight this week.  I told her, well, yeah, that's what happens when you eat all the junk food that's put in front of you.  She looked at me like I kicked her puppy.

I'm not implying any kind of weight problem or eating disorder - I'm talking about controlling a compulsion.  If someone doesn't want to lose weight or if they don't give a fuck about their program, that's fine by me, but spare everyone else your dramatic self loathing when you actively work against your goal.  Everyone has moments of weakness - mine are generally along the lines of "yeah, another drink couldn't hurt."  Own up to them, and try not to do it again, don't deny that it ever happened or it'll never change.

Trip, thanks for bringing up time management.  That's a big one.

[Cuddlefish]

Oh, jebus, don't even get me started on exes' bullshittery.

OHAY, MAYBE YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE CABLE AND GO OUT DRINKING AND KEEP A CAR THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD AND IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A MAN WITH THRE FUCKING CHILDREN. SON. OF. A. BIIIIIIITCH.

This kinda shit makes me want to kick puppies.

As much as I love my wife, if I hear her say "I need to lose weight and go on a diet" one more time as she's opening another beer, I'm gonna punch myself in the nuts.

Indeed.

[Sister Fracture]

Oh, jebus, don't even get me started on exes' bullshittery.

OHAY, MAYBE YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE CABLE AND GO OUT DRINKING AND KEEP A CAR THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD AND IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A MAN WITH THRE FUCKING CHILDREN. SON. OF. A. BIIIIIIITCH.

This kinda shit makes me want to kick puppies.

Kicking puppies wouldn't help. Go kick some deadbeats.

[Cuddlefish]

Oh, jebus, don't even get me started on exes' bullshittery.

OHAY, MAYBE YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE CABLE AND GO OUT DRINKING AND KEEP A CAR THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD AND IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A MAN WITH THRE FUCKING CHILDREN. SON. OF. A. BIIIIIIITCH.

This kinda shit makes me want to kick puppies.

Kicking puppies wouldn't help. Go kick some deadbeats.

Fuck yeah. Let me get my kicking boots on!

[Luna]

Oh, jebus, don't even get me started on exes' bullshittery.

OHAY, MAYBE YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE CABLE AND GO OUT DRINKING AND KEEP A CAR THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD AND IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A MAN WITH THRE FUCKING CHILDREN. SON. OF. A. BIIIIIIITCH.

This kinda shit makes me want to kick puppies.

Kicking puppies wouldn't help. Go kick some deadbeats.

Fuck yeah. Let me get my kicking boots on!

Puppy didn't do anything.

An explanation that siring children doesn't make you a man, taking care of your fucking responsibilities does might.  Particularly if delivered as a suppository.

I have NO patience with deadbeats... and I work in payroll.  Every time I get a wage garnishment for child support, I cringe... because it's my job to tell dear ol' Dad that the money is coming out of his check, like it or not.  (The last one was a shock.  "Yes, thank you, I was expecting it, can you get that started with this week's check?")

[P3nT4gR4m]

Human beings are creatures of habit. Habits, by their very nature, are hard to break. It's a matter of fighting with a part of yourself, depending how strong the part your fighting is v's how strong the fighter determines the outcome. I drink, I smoke and I accept that I'm killing myself. Other people bitch and whine about it but do fuck all about it, others still do something. I think those are a minority.

The funny thing about habits is people seem to have a capacity to habituate to pretty much anything and if you don't have the "spending your last dollar on my little ponys" habit it looks weird. It aint weird - light up a cigarette and ask yourself just what is it that's so hard to understand.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Nice rant!!

Having at one time weighed over 300 pounds, I have no sympathy for people who refuse to take control of their eating habits and lose the fucking weight.  I did it, I did it safely over the course of almost 3 years and have maintained between 125-135 for over a year now. No fucking Weight Watchers, no Slim Fast, nothing commercial.  I fucking stopped filling my face 20 hours of the day.  It is not rocket science and people who can't lose weight should probably deal with the real emotional issues so they can then deal with the physical ones.  Now I had to get my medical issues under control before I did this, and weight gain from medical problems, multiple surgeries (as in my case), or other health issues don't fall into my get off your ass and do something category.  But the "Oh I use food to replace.... {insert whatever reason here}" yeah, fuck that.  STOP FUCKING EATING SO DAMN MUCH!!

As for being broke because of spending money whch should be used for bills and rent on bullshit stuff that is not necessary, christ, I can't even begin to get into how much shit like that pisses me off.  I have zero sympath for those people either.  Not when I know people (myself included) who go without medications if necessary to pay their bills.

People don't come to me with their problems, because if their problems are self induced or fixable then I'm a complete bitch to them, I (as may have been noticed) am not the most sympathetic of women.

[navkat]

I think a lot of that basic problem is fueled by the fact that people can't usually examine their own lives with any amount of critical thinking. This makes it harder to change, since they don't know what they're looking for.

Bingo.

It's an honest mistake: think we all fall into this. The smart ones are the people who realize it and try to account for it. Conversely: it's bad to be too willing "open-minded" in matters of self-change because then you become a kick-puppy and a whore to anyone who wants to tell you what your problem is.